I do not call the suffering that Jesus undertook unfair as God (doesn't really matter if it was God as Jesus... still God) chose to undergo this in order to make it possible for us to be saved. He chose to make himself suffer for the good of others. This issue is completely different to what you are asserting which is that God punishes people simply because he thinks you are going down the wrong path. Experience tells me that if someone is going down the wrong path then they will not exactly appreciate being punished for it! If you kick a dog for eating your shoes it will fear you for it - this 'fear' relationship portrays a type of bully God who wants to force us into spiritual submission. It just doesn't seem like a benevolent God!
Im sorry but i disagree. What they did to Jesus was COMPLETELY unfair. He deserved nothing that they did to Him, I'M the one that deserved to be crucified on that cross, YOU deserved to be crucified on that cross, not Jesus. That would've been what's "fair". I understand it being necessary for Him to die, but calling it "fair" for an innocent man to suffer for my sins? I dont think so. That's why Jesus is to be so greatly praised, cuz only He would have done something like that for us.
So according to you, God shouldn't punish anyone? People can just do whatever they want to do, and get away with it...no need for brokenness, no need for a repentant heart, God should just "let it slide" because He's supposed to be this loving, gentle old man sitting in a throne?........God's love requires Him to be fair, and just. The bible says Judgement is in His hands, He's a Jealous God, He is a God that is capable of great wrath that He WILL pour it out on this world...dont be fooled into thinkin God is just going to sit back and do nothing about sin.
As for fear, it's VERY NECESSARY. But dont take my word for it
Psalms 34:11- Come my children, listen to me, I will teach you to fear the Lord.
Psalms 89:7- In the council of the holy ones, God is greatly feared.
Psalms 76:7-Thou, even thou, art to be feared: and who may stand in thy sight when once thou art angry.
Isaiah 8:12-13- Neither fear ye their fear, nor be afraid, sanctify the Lord of hosts Himself, and let Him be your fear, and let Him be your dread.
Matthew 10:28- And fear not them which kill the body, and are not able to kill the soul, but rather fear Him which is able to destroy both soul and body in Hell.
Psalms 111:10- The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and they who live by it grow in understanding.
I suggest that you spend some more time in your Word my brother....Im saying that because i care about you, and you seem to have to wrong idea about God. And just keep in mind that God is always going to be God, no matter what you or I "think" He should be like. We could "think" that He doesn't punish anyone, but that doesn't change the fact that He does. What we think God should be like doesn't determine who He is. He's the same yesterday, today and forevermore. Us thinking any different won't change Him. My advice would be to get into the Word, spend time praying and get to know the God you serve. I love you brother. God bless.