Apologizing to your Children

[VOW]

Have you ever said to your child, "I'm sorry?"

Have you ever admitted you were wrong?

I've done it. I firmly believe in it. Some people feel that a parent weakens his or her authority by apologizing. I feel just the opposite. If I confess to my child that I have made a mistake, I think I'm showing the example of strength.

I've actually said to my kids, "I've screwed up, and I'm sorry."

And there are times when I've gotten into arguments with my children, and later they have come to ME and said, "I was wrong, Mom, and I'm sorry."

How about it?



Peace,
~VOW

 

[Tinker Grey]

yes, both my spouse and I have apologized to our children.

I agree with you.

 

[Gabriel]

As we have established in other threads, children learn by example.  How can we teach them true repentance if they don't see it in us?  We all make mistakes and the best way to teach them about humility is to be humble ourselves.

Here's another angle:  If our children see us ready to apologize to others we have wronged yet we refuse to do so when we have wronged them, what message does that send our children concerning their worth to us?

 

[Avila]

Yes - I think it shows them respect and teaches them to respect others. Also, teaches them that it isn't bad to admit when you are wrong.

 

[Reformationist]

Very good points VOW and Gabe.  I have apologized to my children on numerous occasions for responding in an ungodly way to something.  I'll tell ya, it's very humbling to stand there and ask your 5 year old to forgive you for what you just did.  And, VOW, I totally agree with you about this strengthening our authority.  There are two types of respect that parents experience.  Positional respect and personal respect.  Positional respect is required from my children because God has put me in a position of authority over them.  Personal respect is definitely something I have to earn.  I believe my children respect me on both levels.  My son is almost seven now and he is just starting to see the value of integrity.  I hope that I set a good example for him in that area and I thank God if I have.

God bless

 

[Reformationist]

Originally posted by Avila
Also, teaches them that it isn't bad to admit when you are wrong.

I agree Avila.  Too often I see children whose parents expect them to apologize when they make a mistake but since the child never sees the parents apologize they make the connection that their parents must never make mistakes and it makes it very hard for the child to believe that they are not failures when they make mistakes.

God bless

 

[Avila]

Positional respect is required from my children because God has put me in a position of authority over them. Personal respect is definitely something I have to earn.

So true, Ref!!! I think our goals are the same, our methods of getting our children there are different (referring to view on spanking).

 

[Reformationist]

Originally posted by Avila
So true, Ref!!! I think our goals are the same, our methods of getting our children there are different (referring to view on spanking).

Yeah for God's work in us!!!

 

[lucypevensie]

I had to appologize to my daughter this very morning. It is refreshing in a way to know that you are taking the initiative keeping your relationship honest.

 

[sklippstein]

i have apologized to my child....even though she is 2. She needs to know that I am not always right.....and when i am wrong it is ok to admit it.

 

[fairyshyone]

I have said I am sorry to my DD. I love her and think that she needs to know that even adults can and will mess up some. How do you teach a child if not through example? I am a person and I know I mess up, she also knows this.

 

[jesusis4me]

Yes, I too have said I am sorry, to my girls, and in return, they have come to me and said they were sorry

 

[PrayerWarriorUSA]

Thank you VOW and others that posted to this thread. Your messages were very humbling, enlightening, and encouraging. My wife and I are going through discpline and accountability problems with our 19 year old daughter. Apologizing was never part of the lesson plan. It is now. This topic really helped. I am grateful. Thank you again.

May God's Best Forever Be Yours,

PrayerWarriorUSA

 

[Doreen]

I say I'm sorry to my girls then my 12 yr old usually just leaves b4 I can do anything else like pray with her but my 2 yr old is different.  After I say sorry to her we pray and I repent of what I did wrong then ask Jesus to make her better.  she just loves Jesus so much!!!!!  My eldest does too.  they also say sorry when needed then I pray with them about whatever they did wrong.

 

[PrayerWarriorUSA]

Doreen:

You're doing a great job! God bless you!

 

[Doreen]

thank you - I needed to be encouraged today!!!  God bless you!!!

 

[PrayerWarriorUSA]

Doreen:

You are very welcome! We are God's children and therefore part of His immediate family. As your brother in Christ I not only have an obligation to encourage you, comfort you, console you, and listen to you - I enjoy it and want to. Have an extremely blessed day! God's best be yours!

 

[Corky]

Yes, saying sorry is an important part of life, it shows respect and kindness to children and although you have to make sure they realise you are in charge, saying sorry when you have made a mistake is important

God Bless you all