Anyone GLAD to be divorced?

[High Maintenance]

Did anyone make the decision to divorce w/o any regrets or lingering sadness? Are you glad you did it? What were the circumstances?

 

[RobinRedbreast]

I am intensely glad to be divorced, I joyfully looked forward to the day when it was finalized, and I was happily remarried in September of last year. I never had a single regret. The day I left my first/ex husband, I was joyful, not sad. I felt an immense weight that was about to crush and kill me, lifted from my chest, to leave behind only peace. Absolute peace.

My circumstances are as I posted in your other thread:

He was emotionally unstable, at times abusive, at times neglectful, he refused to hold a job, he refused to bathe, he refused to be an adult. My first husband forced me to keep our first child, when I wanted to give her up for adoption. My first husband disliked my religion. My first husband didn't want me to have hobbies or friends.

It disgusts me to recall ever being married to him We only married because I had gotten pregnant, and I did not have love for him, only obligation. But obligation alone does not sustain a marriage, especially a marriage like my first.

And at the point when I was contemplating suicide for the final time, God told me there was a better way.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

I was the one who walked out with my son and 3 months pregnant. I wanted counseling which he refused for several months, but eventually did, but quit each counselor when they told him something he didn't like. He filed for the divorce, but didn't take it any further. After he disappeared twice for 6 weeks, asked my best friend out on a date, and many other things I finished the divorce.

Getting the divorce decree in the mail was one of the happiest days in my life. No regret on the divorce at all. I know I tried everything humanly possible and asked God for help too. I do regret ever dating him or marrying him.

 

[MyKidsDaddy]

I have not actually filed, but each day brings me closer and closer to letting her go. I think I can feel the drama / burden being lifted as I get my life in order knowing that I won't have the stress of her behavior weighing me down. I think everyone should do as much as possible so that there will be no regrets when that day arrives.

 

[5kidsdad]

I'm not divorced yet. I did file. Now, the legal wrangling. No, I'm not happy, but only for my kids. I miss them. As far as her, done with the drama, done with the verbal and emotional abuse, done with the fighting about my family and me, just done. I just wish I'd have known about the beginning of her affair when I left...I'd have handled so much stuff differently. I'd not have left, forced her out, and kept the 5 kids. Would have called the authorities if I would have had to. Yes I miss the the closeness, the companionship, the other stuff, too. But I do not miss it with her. If God wills, perhaps I will get to have that closeness and feeligns again with someone else.

5kd

 

[HuntingMan]

Did anyone make the decision to divorce w/o any regrets or lingering sadness? Are you glad you did it? What were the circumstances?

I hate the fact that I couldnt marry just once and stay that way.
Im glad to be away from the danger, tho.

 

[iambren]

The legal part had to be done, July '08. It's sad that it has to be and I don't understand it all for sure. BUT, I'm getting gladder slowly. The sky has not fallen and I wonder if brighter days may be ahead.

 

[stickin2thword]

I do not like not being married but, am glad to be divorced. My ex was also an abusive alcoholic.... *sigh* wrong choices have their consequences just as right one's do... Today I am just glad to be walking in God's divine will rather than his permissible will.

 

[tryingtobeagain]

I am glad my husband left me... he left, but after he did I found out that he had completely lied to me about who he was and he was a sex addict who cheated on me every minute of our relationship. He manipulated me so badly that I actually thought it was my fault because I wasn't being a good enough christian wife (yes, he claimed that even though he was doing all of this he was closer to God then I could ever try to be and he knew what was best for me). He still won't divorce me but I'm glad he's out of my house, life, and not financially dependant on me anymore...

 

[cjordan08]

i'm glad my divorce is over. however i feel like their is still this healing process i have yet to go through. i have had the days where i cry uncontrollably at everything and then the days where i am relieved that we are no longer together. i do believe that everything will be better in time.

 

[MyKidsDaddy]

I'm in the process of filing papers this week. I have a stomach-turning sick feeling that I am abandoning her at her lowest point. She refused to quit the BF while we were starting counseling. She was unsure whether she wanted to work on the marriage. I'm done with her lies, deceit.

 

[ido]

I'm glad that I am no longer the subject of my ex-husband's abusive behavior on a daily basis anymore, but I can't say that I'm glad to be divorced. Divorce isn't liberating for the kids, it shreds them - if I could have salvaged my marriage for my children's sake - if no other reason - I would have.

I don't love my ex anymore and I certainly don't want him back - but for me, to say that I'm glad to be divorced is a stretch.

 

[DZoolander]

When I went through my divorce about 10 years ago - I went through what I believe to be the normal cycle of questioning and worry about whether or not is was the "right" thing to do... "Ought not a good husband to work things through?"

...but the passed pretty quickly. In the end - I came to the conclusion that what I had decided was the best...and I never regretted that decision or questioned it again.

...and yes - I couldn't have been happier to have done it.

 

[5kidsdad]

I'm not divorced yet, but will be glad when it is over. The court stuff is starting soon. The only regret is that my kids are involved...it isn't fair to them. I will not miss the drama, the threats, the emotional and verbal attacks. I might be lonely, missing a mate, but I am so glad to be away from her. If the Lord is merciful, I hope to get the kids, to help them escape the nighhtmare that is their mom not wanting to grow up, or take any responsibility for her actions. I am sad to an extent...it is not supposed to happen to Christians, but it does. However, I feel that this will be a building block to a new life, a new chapter, and a new way for me to help others.

5kd

 

[ido]

The only regret is that my kids are involved...it isn't fair to them. I will not miss the drama, the threats, the emotional and verbal attacks. I might be lonely, missing a mate, but I am so glad to be away from her.
5kd

I'm still convinced that the kids only need one stable parent to get them through this mess that becomes their lives. No, it's not easy - but it's survivable and they can even overcome it, with a lot of hands-on involvement on our parts and by us covering them daily in prayer. JMHO

As fot the drama, etc. - I'm still waiting for it to subside and I will have been divorced for 3 years in August. I will admit that his cycles have stretched out, so I got about an 8 month reprieve before he started in on me again this time. So, as I said earlier, I'm glad to be away from the constant barrage (sp?) of that behavior.

But, it would have been nice if I wouldn't have married a monster in the first place and had married someone that I could have spent the rest of my life married to - that is my regret.

 

[jdizon]

When I hear people say the are happily married for 25, 30 yrs, I'm truly happy for them. But I am also happy and I say, I have been happily divorced for 15 years. It was the best thing I could have done for myself. I am very confident, secure, and live a peaceful life. I'm not afraid of being alone. I'm not needy, and I've traveled like it's nobodies business. The dating life has been great. Not sleeping with anyone, but being good company, great conversation and having a good time. I go home by myself. In the beginning it was difficult financially because I raised my children as a single parent. My accomplishments have been rewarded. If I met someone that was a star catch I would marry him, because he would contribute to my happiness. But it would take alot to get me to that point. If you've turned every rock and stone to make your marriage work and the only solution you have is divorce, then so be it. It's a process and everyone has to go thru it.
tampabaylawyers [dot] com

 

[MyKidsDaddy]

The dating life has been great. Not sleeping with anyone, but being good company, great conversation and having a good time. I go home by myself. In the beginning it was difficult financially because I raised my children as a single parent. My accomplishments have been rewarded. If I met someone that was a star catch I would marry him, because he would contribute to my happiness. But it would take alot to get me to that point. If you've turned every rock and stone to make your marriage work and the only solution you have is divorce, then so be it. It's a process and everyone has to go thru it.
tampabaylawyers [dot] com

I don't see myself dating anytime soon....probably most soon-to-be-divorced people say that...

As for turning over stones and clearing the way of past issues...I feel like I have done about all I could do. She just doesn't seem to think that I'll make her happy or that BF and her are doing anything wrong.

Oh well...
Taking it a day at a time.

MKD

 

[~Lynz~]

ive only been sepreated 2 and a half weeks. and i am very very gald abou it. never realise how missrible an horrible he was making me till it was over.
i can wait to be divorse or een beter annuled. i want nothign more to do with him ever

 

[BRISH]

It really leaves quite the scar to have divorced mainly for the reason of having kids involved. I dont like that I "failed" to do the one thing I was sure I could succeed at, but in the end, yes I'm glad I'm divorced from that relationship. We made mistakes, and there was no reason to continue making them. I look at it this way now, and I hope my ex will soon join reality and compassion soon, but I feel confident I made the right decision because I didn't want my kids to grow up seeing an unhealthy relationship and them thinking it was "normal". I messed up, but I'm going to do all I can to help them not make those same mistakes. Thier dad is a different story, but I'll keep praying on that as well.

 

[SearcherKris]

I'm very glad.

The ONLY regret that I have is that I have to share my kids with him. His abuse was not severe enough to get his visiting right taken away. It seems when there are kids who are on the verge of being killed by their parent's abuse or neglect, lesser abuse is not a big deal to the court. Not that I don't want the ones being seriously harmed to not get help, its just that there is certainly more that could be done for others. Anyway...

I had tried so hard for so long to work it out. The only thing that happened from him was lame attempts to look like he was being good, a gradual progression from bad to worse. The abuse was escalating. I wasnt going to wait around for something more disasterous to happen.

I divorced firmly planted in the knoweledge that it was the right choice and God was setting me free.