Anyone get divorced for non-adultery reasons?

[High Maintenance]

I guess the Bible is pretty clear that divorce should be avoided but can be used in cases of adultery? Well, are there Christians out there who left their spouses for other, nonadultery-related reasons? How did you reconcile that w/ your faith/religiois beliefs?

 

[ShainaBrina]

With a proper understanding of scripture.

[bible]
Exodus 21:10. If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights.
11. If he does not provide her with these three things, she is to go free, without any payment of money.

[/bible]How much more shall a free woman have the right to ask for a divorce if her husband fails to provide for her. Marital rights are said to include friendship, affection and intimacy... In these cases if the husband refused to grant the wife a certificate of divorce it was considered a crime deserving of corporal punishment... Basically he was beaten until he agree to grant the Gett (certificate of divorce)

There are over 100 verses dealing with violence and treachery. This actually what God hates in Mal 2:16 The men of Israel were dealing treacherously with the wives of their youth. They were "putting away" their wives... meaning they were sending them out without certificates of divorce, which left them with no means of support and unable to remarry (as they were technically still married to their former spouse)

Putting away is often mistranslated as divorce, but the terms are not interchangeable putting away is separation without divorce. This leaves the women chained to their husbands. Clearly one can not marry another while still married. This was what Jesus was saying. The exception clause was not for divorce but for putting away... the only reason someone can be put away is when the marriage was not legal to begin with or in the case of adultery... where divorce isn't necessary - normally stoning took care of the problem.

Blessings
Shaina

 

[RobinRedbreast]

I don't believe divorce is wrong, that is how I reconciled it. I never have. I believe people constantly mis-interpret what is being said on so many things in the Bible, and constantly take it way out of context; not to mention the fact that not everything under the sun is addressed in the Bible, and in order to live a Christian life, people need to be dynamic with God instead of being so gosh darn stagnant with the Bible.

I left my first husband. He was emotionally unstable, at times abusive, at times neglectful, he refused to hold a job, he refused to bathe, he refused to be an adult. We only married because I had gotten pregnant, and I did not have love for him, only obligation. But this obligation to a child-in-an-adult-body simply because there was a child involved was not enough to sustain a marriage. Ever.

My first husband forced me to keep our first child, when I wanted to give her up for adoption. My first husband disliked my religion. My first husband didn't want me to have hobbies or friends.

And at the point when I was contemplating suicide for the final time, God told me there was a better way.

There is so much more than the narrow view so many Christians propogate of what is "allowed" in divorce/marriage/remarriage, along with so many other things. Does God hate divorce? He sure does. But that doesn't mean it isn't doable, permissable, and forgiveable. All things can be done by humans, and there is only one sin that is unforgiveable. This isn't it.

That is all I'll say. This topic never goes anywhere good.

I'm happily remarried and living an amazing life.

 

[PerrySB]

Jesus said God allowed divorce because He knew the heart of man, and that is evil. Why did Jesus say if a man divorces his wife he causes her to commit adultery? Because woman had no means of support other than becoming prostitutes. Today it is much different and woman can find acceptable ways of supporting themselves.

I believe if a spouse has emotionally abandoned the other and is unwilling to reconcile sometimes divorce is acceptable but it certainly isn’t God’s will. I suppose the biggest issue I have is that when we take our marriage vows we are not only making a vow to our spouse but to God also and that is serious business in my opinion.

I believe every effort should be made to make the marriage work, but we have all seen cases where no matter what it just isn’t going to happen and that is really sad.

 

[Autumnleaf]

When a man isn't happy with where he's at he probably needs to move on. I think to stay in a situation where someone is unhappy is to betray yourself for what you think is a higher cause that what you want. So if you do choose to stay in a situation you don't like, you should see it is for the greater good or get out of it.

 

[HuntingMan]

I guess the Bible is pretty clear that divorce should be avoided but can be used in cases of adultery? Well, are there Christians out there who left their spouses for other, nonadultery-related reasons? How did you reconcile that w/ your faith/religiois beliefs?

I filed over adultery, so I dont apply to the question, but if I did Id easily reconcile it by understanding that Jesus' intent wasnt to lay out a list of reason we can divorce over in the gospels, but instead His intent was to expose the sin of the Jews who cast out innocent wives to marry another.

His exceptions are basically something to the extent of "you cant just go around killing people. ONLY IF someone is trying to kill you can you take their life. If you do kill someone otherwise you are a murderer"

The intent there is stated clearly, but what if someone is only trying to maim, rape and torture and not kill ?
What if they arent trying to kill me, but my child instead ?

Christs intent wasnt to list out all the reasons we might divorce over, but to show the Jews that what they were doing was sin in casting out their wives to take another...and that ONLY if she does something against the covenant are they even remotely justified in divorcing her.

I dont believe Jesus' intent was actually to 'give permission' to divorce in the exceptions as many believe. I believe that, while exception does offer permission by default, that His 'point' was to expose their guilt.

 

[savingme09]

I filed for divorce partly due to adultery-type issues (online relationships involving exchanges of inappropriate photos and conversation) and partly due to cruelty/verbal abuse that seemed to be escalating towards possible physical abuse (fortunately it did not get to that point, but at one time I was very afraid for our safety).

I have never been taught that divorce was wrong in my church. I was always taught that it is a last resort if a marriage cannot be saved. I understand that people have different interpretations on this subject so I will leave it at that.