Anyone else "nonchalantly careless" about their future?

[Jothman]

I am just wondering if I'm the only one or I should change:

To put it bluntly, I am a nonchalantly careless christian/person. I am in my early 20's, in college, working part time, but just lack care or firmness about my future life. I'll explain more....

-I don't care if I have a family/kids or not, but definitely want a longtime girlfriend/wife.
-I don't care if I am working a $30k/yr job, a $70k/yr job, or a "stay at home dad/husband" in the future. Future recreational money doesn't do much for me. Thus leading me to lack of care in getting my college degree, but still keeping up a 3.8 GPA and getting it on time.
-I don't care if I live in a big house or a small house or an apartment building or with my GF/wife in my parents house. A place to lay my head with my wife and dog is all I'd care for, the rest can work itself out however.
-I don't really have any real life "goals". My biggest goals in life are really:
1. Get a loving GF/Wife I can spend the rest of my life with.
2. Get a job making $30k+/yr for now or longer depending on wife's job, so I can save/supply for "the minimal needed" financial support for living.
3. Adopt and always have a pet dog.
Intangible:
4. Spend lots of time with family and friends.
5. Maintain my health.
6. Live a good/christian style life.

The few certainties I do know about the future(aside from stated above/and including some):
-As stated above, I want a longterm girlfriend/wife. Hopefully one that I can fall deeply in love with and one that returns that favor. Main qualities I look for: kind/christian heart and great sense of humor.
-I want to always have a pet dog adopted from the pound. Part because I want to save it, part for love/affection, part for family, part for protection.
-I want great health: I eat healthily, I exercise daily, and I read daily(mental health).
-I want to be close to my family and friends all my life.
-I want to live with heavy christian influence/be a good christian and please god with my life.

Is this normal? Is anyone out there similar? Is there anything I should think about changing or developping?

Possessions and money have little value to me, going out and "doing things"(concerts, sports tickets, bars, restaurants, etc,etc) aren't extremely appealing to me, having little more than the obvious minimal necessities to me in life isn't sought after, etc. I don't know if it's because I'm religous that I feel this way, or because I know heaven is eternal making this part of "life" seem miniscule and all the little temporary highs/events/things in this life feel near meaningless/boring, or because I just lack drive or something. I don't know what to think, but obviously I feel most things in life are meaningless or have little value. People are important. God is important. Little else to me feels worthy of time or thought.

But continuing on that, I also feel somewhat helpless. I could live a good christian life as stated above, but still not "go all out" trying to help others like I could. That confuses me a bit. I just don't know if I lack the drive to volunteer my time or more money to needy people/causes, or just lack "direct care". I wish the best for all and most of the time try to do the best for the people around me, occassionally going out of my way to make a direct positive/christian impact on others lives. But I just don't go "way out" of my way, like volunteering or so. Is that a sin? Is that bad? I guess I could push my self, but like I said lack the real care to do so. It's weird. I wish and pray the best and do what I can for the direct parts of my life that could use my help, but little more. What do you think?


Sorry for lots of paragraphs. Just lots of thoughts and ramblings on my mind and I'd really appreciate multiple inputs on me/my situation. Thanks ahead of time.

 

[mina]

I don't think it's that unusual. You have priorities that may be different than other people's priorities but it doesn't make it less valid. As your life becomes more defined it might not be as easy or practical to live as simply as you envision so be willing to be flexible if needed; but you should always keep God and family as forerunners in your life.

 

[Amber.ly]

What you said doesn't sound "careless" it just sounds like you are in your young 20's

I could live a good christian life as stated above, but still not "go all out" trying to help others like I could. That confuses me a bit. I just don't know if I lack the drive to volunteer my time or more money to needy people/causes, or just lack "direct care". I wish the best for all and most of the time try to do the best for the people around me, occassionally going out of my way to make a direct positive/christian impact on others lives. But I just don't go "way out" of my way, like volunteering or so. Is that a sin? Is that bad? I guess I could push my self, but like I said lack the real care to do so. It's weird. I wish and pray the best and do what I can for the direct parts of my life that could use my help, but little more. What do you think?

This is the only part that sticks out to me. You are so concerned about saving a dog in your future but have no apparent interest in doing the same for a human. I would guess that perhaps your lack of "drive" to help others is based out of the very human tendency to be selfishly comfortable. Serving others is hard, unappreciated work most of the time. At least a dog will give you unconditional love and acceptance, you don't get that with humans

Anyway, this isn't some big shocking revelation because we all struggle with the same thing- giving of ourselves without any return. Its rough. But it is always worth it in the end so I would encourage you to start small and see where you can help in your church or community a few times a year. Build up from there and be willing to see your reluctance for what it is- selfishness. But don't get discouraged because of it, we ALL deal with that same thing.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

If it bothers you about volunteering, you could volunteer at an animal shelter, since you seem to like dogs. As an added bonus, you could then learn more about what to look for when evaluating a dog to adopt for yourself. You will want to get a good match for your personality and lifestyle.

Also, I think that Amber may have a valid point. If you want a wife to share your life with, you had better start practicing serving others. That is something that a wife and husband both do in a marriage and a great deal of what makes a marriage work. When you get married, life isn't about just you and what you want/are comfortable with anymore. Heck, even when you get a dog, it isn't all about you anymore (no more sleeping in til whenever you want, you have to schedule your time with thought to how the dog is going to get to go out, eat, etc., you have to consider the dog's veterinary care, what you'll do with it when traveling, and so on).

 

[Jothman]

Thanks guys. I think you are right, I may be unknowingly selfish in part of this, part of this is me being an early 20's kid, and part of this

I will definitely entertain and possibly apply for animal shelter volunteering. That is a good idea. I already own a dog right now and do the "maintenence" (walks, food, water, vet, love, etc).

I definitely need to work on serving others out of my way more. Besides the occassional holding of doors, lending of pens/paper in college, church/charity donations, and driving courtesy, I don't do much beyond that for helping others selflessly. Definitely need to work on it.

As for future wife readiness. I think I'm ok. My nonchalantless is more a flexibility help than hinderance. It's not that I don't want to do anything, it's that I don't do more than the necessary unless it's usually asked of me, but that will definitely change when I meet the right girl and going forward with helping/serving others more.

Most importantly, I will keep my faith strong and pray. Thanks again.

 

[tylersantone]

yep

 

[Astrid90]

i think i am like this in some ways. not really careless, but just not obsessed with money and material items.

 

[AranCF13]

I was never a planner when I was younger, I said I wanted to see the world and that I wanted to be a parent. I didn't care if I was rich or poor, I didn't really care where I lived or what job I was doing, I just wanted to get out of my small town and have some people around me that loved me.

It's amazing how life just happens without you planning, I've ended up living in multiple different countries and have a wonderful family that loves me. I personally think that being open minded and not having materialistic goals allows you more freedom. It sounds to me that you are in a pretty good place right now, just make sure your actions arn't limiting you (eg keep getting the best grades you can, even if you don't need amazing grades for a hypothetical job)

 

[Thunder Peel]

Sounds to me like you're more of a futurist and feel that things of this earth that don't have eternal value aren't worth worrying about. I'm one of those too and sometimes people don't understand why I don't take some things more seriously. I feel that if it doesn't matter in heaven then chances are it's probably not worth losing sleep over in this life either.

While I wouldn't say I'm careless, I do feel underwhelmed in general by my existence. I've coined it "underliving" because that's what it feels like, almost like I'm just getting by instead of doing something great for God and accomplishing what I was created to do. That's a much worse feeling.

 

[Kol]

OP, you're not careless, you're just laid back. Kinda like the Ghetto Boys, but with less cursing and more comprehensibility.

I'm with you. It's not so much that I'm apathetic about my future, just apathetic about my future in this world.

 

[Wandering Cat Lady]

Doesn't sound careless to me. I don't really "care" that much either. Pretty laid back. My husband owns a computer store and he does pretty well so I can work...or not. Right now working part time and content with that. My plans for the future involve becoming a counselor at SOME point...everyone is like why not go to college now and start it? Because I am not gung ho about it and I want to wait a while for various reasons. I'd rather enjoy my life and make the most of it now than to fill up all my time with studying and not enjoy it at all. I will eventually get there but I'm not too concerned about it.