Any suggestions?

[heatherwayno]

Does anyone have any suggestions or techniques to deal with anger management? I am going to lose my mind. I have 4 kids (2 babies) a full time job and my husband is out in the garage playing with his tractor and I everything falls to me. I sometimes don't think I can make it through another day. I am seeing a therapist but feel like a failure for not being able to handle my problems and get over an abusive childhood. I just want to get in my car and drive away. There is not a person in the world who truly cares about me. My kids probably do but they don't know any better yet. I just want to sink into the earth. My whole life is out of control. My house is a wreck, my husband never does any housework, I get up at 5 am every weekday and do not stop until I go to bed. And nothing ever seems to get done. Nothing is ever easy. Please pray for me I am going to lose my mind.

 

[goldenviolet]

speaking as one mum to another!
*WARMFUZZIES!!!*
you are already seeing a therepist, so you'll have a good probly solving listener. my suggestion is for the mommy-syndrome... ... that's what i call it when your kids drive you nuts. i use to spread out a blanket on the floor and pop a big bowl of popcorn. no one could leave the blanket (to keep pop corn clean up easy)... and we'd watch movie (no talking)... or instread of popcorn, they'd get toys. quite time. after it's over ( half hour for toys hour or so for movie) then we'd talk about it all. the drama, the fighting, chores, etc. then we'd clean up do baths, etc.

we also had a play room the kids were not allowed in together. (boys only or girls only) they's earn play time with friends and to do things.

play stations in the house. different areas for different things keep kids undercontrol and it helps them structure their activities and clean up. like, little stations at a fair. you invent them, or have the kids invent. works great!

the card game uno is great for even little ones. my kids had there syblings playing at age 3!

don't be a fraid to sit on sofa and cry. tell kids you need time with Jesus. and you'd appreciate a hug.

hope something sounds helpful!! love dee

 

[heatherwayno]

The popcorn and the blanket is a great idea- they love to watch movies with me and maybe this way they would all sit through one. They also always ask for popcorn which I dread becuase I find it everywhere. We are going to try that tonight. Thanks again!

 

[trinitygrace]

Heather,

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I knew you were going through a rough time. I just didn't know it was this rough. Please know that I do care about you. I am sorry I can't be there for you more. I forgot to call you back today because I was in church and spent 5 hours cleaning and redecorating my room. I have been thinking about you though. I will pray for you and me and Kevin can definitely babysit again. We had a lot of fun. It was a blast! The kids were very good for us. Please know even though your kids drive you nuts sometimes, that they are really good kids compared to most kids. You are a VERY lucky mom for such well-behaved little ones. I know about the popcorn! lol! It does go everywhere and it did when you guys went out Please, if there is anything at all I can do for you besides keep you in my prayers, please don't hesitate to ask. That's what friends are for and I do love your kids!

Love always,
Bobbie

 

[He_is_my_Refuge]

Wow, you need some self-care. I was in your shoes back in the early - mid 90's, 4 kids 6 and under. One was a real stinker, always into trouble. I didn't work full-time though. I don't know how you do it!

I remember feeling resentful when my husband relaxedly read books and magazines while I chased the kids all evening. And when I asked him to read them a story before bed, he'd look at me, and say, "No." He didn't think it was necessary. So I did. I was so frustrated. I finally found a way to have "me time:" I'd put the kids to bed, and go grocery shopping, alone. It was wonderful, just to be alone. But I'd get home around 10:30, and have a bunch of groceries to put away...

Now that I've had another baby, 10 yrs after #4, and gone through depression, lots of anger included, I wouldn't go grocery shopping - I'd go to the coffee/bookstore, and veg-out - alone! Even if you can do this once a week, it'll re-charge you.

I'll tell you what else. If you are feeling resentful towards hubby for not helping you get down-time, you can explain to him that that's going to effect your love-life. Frankly, you'll be too wiped out. Also, let him know how hard it is to be attracted to someone who doesn't help you when they see you under stress. This gets their attention! Work out a time for him to keep the kids.

Is there any way you can work part-time, even for a couple years, til the babies are older, and the bigger kids can do some babysitting, if hubby isn't willing?

Signed,

One Who Knows