Anxiety help

[CruciFixed]

I don't usually get responses when I post in the main mental disorders section but I suppose I might get help.

I am not actually diagnosed with anything but my family practically everyone in it has some mental illness:
My mother is schizo affective
My brother has bipolar disorder and social anxiety disorder
My sister has bipolar disorder
My granddad has a few mental illnesses I can't remember them all.
My uncle has bipolar disorder.

A lot of family members have mental illnesses anyway I would list them all but mostly they all have either bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, schizo affective, dissociative idendity disorder, social anxiety, panic disorders the list goes on.

Anyway I know I need to see a doctor (for other unrelated mental problems I am facing)but I just wanted to know if like these are typical symptoms of anxiety disorder or if its normal:
I can't go into crowded stores or I start freaking in my head. Sometimes I feel like I am going to scream out loud if there is more than one person other than myself in the same aisle as me.I won't even go down an aisle even if I need something if there is two or more people occupying the aisle. Not because I can't just say "Excuse me" but because I know I'll freak out.My heart starts racing and my thoughts start racing when we need to go into a store in the day time especially around the first of the month, Fridays, and refund time. I like going to stores at night.
I get extremely nervous in social situations too. I hate meeting new people.
I don't like having conversations with people in an authoritative position. It makes me nervous and ill to have to say more than like one or two short sentences to people who have an authority type figure. When I say ill I mean sick in my stomach ill and panicky feeling.
I cant stand answering the phone unless my caller id shows the name of someone I'm familiar with. Otherwise I'd rather it if someone else got it. I don't like telling people that the person they are looking for isn't available or isn't around at the moment or they got the wrong number. I jumble my words and it makes me feel awkward and I always automatically assume the other person thinks I am lying or they can read me. I never lie when someone is home I give them the phone.

Oh for example: Whenever I write my teacher an email (its totally school stuff) I always tell him "You don't have to reply its not important or anything and really you can delete this if you don't want to read it." and he tells me not to put that because I don't have to worry about it being stupid because its not stupid but I always feel a weird need to put that little detail there just in case. Like a disclaimer. I do that a lot.

Oddly enough sometimes when I over think about certain situations whether it be social or not social I get a "Bricks replaced my knees" feeling and I Suddenly cannot walk or I think I'll fall. My heart starts racing, my head starts pounding my legs feel like my knees are made of bricks so I can't walk and I am afraid so much to walk when it first happens because I think if I do walk I will pass out or fall down.

I even just reread my post and thought "oh man this sounds so stupid." and almost erased it all but then how could I find support or get any information if I dont' post it? Maybe it does sound stupid and someone can tell me if it does and I'll deal with it and never ask for advice in here again. Thank you.

 

[Bellicus]

Hi, to me it sounds like you have something that looks social anxiety. I got that diagnosis and I can recognize much of myself in what you write. The only thing that seems unfamiliar is the "Bricks replaced my knees" feeling you describe. But only a doctor can tell if what you have is a illness or not, and give the correct diagnosis and treatment for it.

Hoping you will find a way to stop these problems. God bless you.

 

[CruciFixed]

Thanks. Well I still have a fear of goin to the doctors. I did actually get replies in the main section I just never checked back. Now don't I feel stupid.

 

[Bellicus]

Now don't I feel stupid.

Can't see anything stupid about that you wrote two topics about it. Nothing to worry about at all.

I know the feeling of always feeling stupid though. It's frustrating to always feel that something is wrong about everything that is done. It gets a bad circle about feeling stupid for feeling so stupid for feeling so stupid etc. Constant nervousness that increases. Noticing the nervousness and getting even more nervous about it. Think it got to do with anxiety, not reality.

 

[aiki]

How does your relationship with God factor into what you're experiencing?

 

[CruciFixed]

Can you elaborate?

I'm in his word a lot and I attend sunday worship. I alo have a bible study every Monday
But if you mean prayer its on again off again because sometimes I want to pray other times I'm afraid to pray and I get the urge to pray but I feel stupid or like my words will be bumbly so I dont say anything at all because I think my prayers are too insignificant to say.

 

[aiki]

Can you elaborate?

I'm in his word a lot and I attend sunday worship. I alo have a bible study every Monday

Okay. Hmmm...I'm kinda' hoping you can tell me how your relationship with God affects your anxiety. What does knowing the Almighty Creator of the Universe do for you when you become anxious?

But if you mean prayer its on again off again because sometimes I want to pray other times I'm afraid to pray and I get the urge to pray but I feel stupid or like my words will be bumbly so I dont say anything at all because I think my prayers are too insignificant to say.

What is it that makes you feel "stupid," or become concerned that God cares about how well phrased your words are, or worried that your prayers are too insignificant for God? What about God makes you think any of these things should be a concern?

Peace to you.

 

[Amhacajo]

Hi Brikkz

What you described in your first post sounds very much like a social anxiety disorder. I can relate to alot of the things that you mentioned regarding authority figures, social situations etc. I'm not able to say that you definately do, but seeking professional help sounds like your best option. A doctor will be able to guide you to the professional help that you may need. I know that may sound terrifying to do (I know I've been there myself). I can assure you though that there is hope and I can testify to that as I have pretty much come out at the other end of my anxiety now.

Hanging on to your faith and seeking God are all important too. Finding that time with Him and getting a grip on His acceptance of who you are, as you are now is an important revelation. He loves you just as you are and wants to see you rise above and conquer this anxiety. I go for a 30 minute walk pretty much everyday and this is one of the best times I have found to just meditate on God. Sometimes it's not even just praying the whole time but just marvelling at what he has created or gathering my thoughts. The physical activity side of it is pretty important too just for the brain function itself. Exercise has been one of the best anxiety 'medications' I could have taken.

Praying that you can find the hlep that you need.

 

[CruciFixed]

Okay. Hmmm...I'm kinda' hoping you can tell me how your relationship with God affects your anxiety. What does knowing the Almighty Creator of the Universe do for you when you become anxious?

What is it that makes you feel "stupid," or become concerned that God cares about how well phrased your words are, or worried that your prayers are too insignificant for God? What about God makes you think any of these things should be a concern?

Peace to you.

Well first He's God, creator of everything and I am nothing, which is true. Why should God hear my prayers? And whenever we read prayers in the bible or in prayer books none of them are bumbly. You never see someone in the bible say "Dear God I just.....come to you in prayer because---no that's not it. Heavenly Father, I just need your oh....that's not it either. What do I want to say?" and then I stop praying because why in the world should He listen to someone who cannot even say what they mean to begin with? I don't even know what to say. My mind freezes I am the worst at prayer ever and then radio preachers and stuff make me feel convicted because on top of not praying right I hear that sometimes your prayers should be vocal because otherwise you get side tracked which is true of me almost every time I pray. So now I feel bad because I can't pray out loud. I've tried and its worse out loud than it is in my head.
"Uh okay what should I say? How should I say it? Is anyone gonna hear me? If they hear me are they gonna think I'm nuts? Who is looking? Okay let me think? Father, we---I---uh?" Its horrible. Those are the dumbest ways for a human to approach the King. "Duuuh...you made me smart but now I'm a fool." I know he made a smart person there somewhere its just lost...
. I mean look at the prayer in Nehemiah. That prayer was long but good and meant something had feeling. My prayers barely have emotion, and cannot even compare to biblical prayers. Half the time I forget to thank God for stuff. I remember to ask for forgiveness, to pray about healing for others and stuff and then the dumbest thing is I forget to Thank Him for like the day or another day alive or the beautiful words in the bible. I forget. How can I forget?


As far as how it affects my relationship and how I see Him and such....I forget God when I get anxious. I know He's there I just forget His word. I am absolutely and admittedly selfish at that moment. I start thinking of only how I can avoid xyz situation or how I can get out of xyz situation not of prayer or anything. I'm frozen in my mind when anxiety attacks. I wish I weren't. I just get that way. Its like I don't know Him I just know my fears. I hate it.

I ca't even approach my Pastor in email without feeling like a fool and that's a human being.

God is above all humans and King Of Kings all that stuff He is. If I cannot type an email how can I pray right? I can't. I tried this morning with my husband to pray out loud. I lead us in prayer because my husband insisted I did so because he wanted me to express my thoughts in prayer...

It took 5 minutes to even get the prayer started. Then when the prayer was started I messed up more times than I could count. People keep saying I'll get better but I can't see that happening....ever.

 

[PolarBear3]

I know He's there I just forget His word. I am absolutely and admittedly selfish at that moment. I start thinking of only how I can avoid xyz situation or how I can get out of xyz situation not of prayer or anything. I'm frozen in my mind when anxiety attacks. I wish I weren't. I just get that way.

I can relate to that. The anxiety can be so overwhelming that it's hard to think of anything else except how to get out of that situation. What I've been trying to do (sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't) is to say a short prayer when I see a situation coming where I'm likely to be anxious. Something like "God, please help me" or "God, help me feel your strength" and sometimes just knowing that God is with me in those moments and that I can lean on Him will help me get through it.

It took 5 minutes to even get the prayer started. Then when the prayer was started I messed up more times than I could count. People keep saying I'll get better but I can't see that happening....ever.

I don't think God expects us to pray a certain way. And we can't be perfect - only God is perfect. We're human and we're bound to make mistakes. When words come out wrong when I pray, a lot of times I'll say something like "God, I'm having trouble finding the words I want" or "God, I hope you know what I mean because it's not coming out right". It helps me when I admit to myself and to God that I'm not coming up with what I want to say. And I believe that God understands what I'm trying to say even when my words get jumbled up. Another thing that I've found to be helpful is, in a time of silence, to just feel God's presence - to listen and to feel His comfort and strength. Some people may not consider that the same as a prayer, but in my mind, it is. To me, silent prayer can be a wonderful way to connect with God. Another option is that we can always say the Lord's Prayer. Jesus gave us words to pray and if I want a verbal prayer and can't get my thoughts together, that is what I say.

That's great that you tried to pray with your husband. It sounds like he's trying to encourage you and that's really good.

Kathy

 

[Criada]

I have kids.
And quite often they come to me, wanting to ask something, or tell me about their day, or explain something, and they stumble over their words.
I love those times, when they so want to share what they are thinking, even though they can't express it clearly.
And I think God is like us. Yes, He is the Creator, the King... but He is also our Daddy, who loves us, and loves to hear us talk to Him, however badly we express it, however many times we can't find the words. He isn't waiting to tell you off for getting it wrong, He is smiling, and saying, "Yes, I understand, even if your words get muddled, I see your heart, and I love it when you try to communicate with me"
We aren't His news reporters, coming to report in wonderful prose about the events of the day, we are His children, climbing into His lap because we love Him, and pouring out our badly phrased, ungrammatical, but heartfelt love and thanks. And He loves that, however bad we think that we sound.

God bless you, sweetie. Remember how very much He loves you!

 

[Kaylin]

I know sometimes I have problems while praying, too - I can't think of anything to say even though 5 minutes ago I had three million things I wanted to say to God, or nothing comes out right, or I get distracted...

One of the things I've found that helps is praying without words. I just use emotions and sometimes even 'pictures' in my head. I think God knows me well enough and is powerful enough that he's able to understand me when I'm praying like that. It might be a "Help, oh my gosh I'm out of control and I need You!" feeling, or it might be a "Wow, everything is so beautiful and calm and pretty and I can't even describe it..." feeling. I don't know if that works for other people, but it definitely works for me.

Also, you could memorize and pray a short, one-line prayer periodically throughout the day. It could be something like, "God, thank so much and give me strength to face the day."

 

[tchristiec]

Dear Brkkz: You're obviously stronger than what you give yourself credit for or you wouldn't be able to communicate your feeling so well to a group of strangers. Just talk to God like your speaking by using your computer. He can read and He knows everything about your feelings. He knows all. Prayer is not a chore it's simple communication which you seem to be skilled at. You may want to write down scriptures and tape them around your room. Be careful of what you read, listen to or watch. Get good praise and worship music and keep in playing as often as you can. Please don't be afraid to seek medical attention - if you had a broken arm you would go to a doctor. Trust that God will heal and deliver you so that you may be His vessel to help others going through this as well. God Bless you.
Christie

 

[Frosti]

Well first He's God, creator of everything and I am nothing, which is true. Why should God hear my prayers? And whenever we read prayers in the bible or in prayer books none of them are bumbly. You never see someone in the bible say "Dear God I just.....come to you in prayer because---no that's not it. Heavenly Father, I just need your oh....that's not it either. What do I want to say?" and then I stop praying because why in the world should He listen to someone who cannot even say what they mean to begin with? I don't even know what to say. My mind freezes I am the worst at prayer ever and then radio preachers and stuff make me feel convicted because on top of not praying right I hear that sometimes your prayers should be vocal because otherwise you get side tracked which is true of me almost every time I pray. So now I feel bad because I can't pray out loud. I've tried and its worse out loud than it is in my head.

God doesn't care how you pray. He just wants you to keep praying. He knows you're not perfect, and neither is anyone else, and it's ok.

No matter what our prayers sound like, God knows whats on our heart, even if our prayer didn't come out the way it should have. The Holy Spirit also acts as a messenger to God. If we pray something that isn't perfect the Holy Spirit steps in for us and says something along the lines of, "I know so-and-so's prayer was kinda selfish (etc.) he/she should have said this: blah blah."
I can't think of anything more comforting than that.

Peace be with you.

Sandy

 

[cahill]

People suffering from anxiety, panic, stress and depression should consult a specialist and only then should use the medicine, as there can be various reasons behind the disorder. Medicines used to cure such disorders are habit forming and should be used for small duration. As per my personal experience, I have used Xanax and it helped me in getting over my panic and anxiety disorder. Along with medicine, the concerned person should take a break from his/her regular schedule, go out and take good sleep.

 

[R.A.IN]

I would be very careful using any type of benzodiazepine medications. In fact, I would put my foot down and tell my dr. absolutely no to benzos..... that includes Klonopin, Xanax, Ambien and a list of others. They are bad news! I am going through a slow taper and having disabling withdrawals. One of the withdrawals is intense panic attacks............ way worse than the ones you have before you go on them.

 

[R.A.IN]

Don't use any benzos. They are horrid to come off of. The panic attacks you face post-benzo is worse than anything you're going through now. Klonopin, Xanax........ both benzodiazapines and both bad news!

 

[A Catholic Friend]

I went back to church and I was peaceful and calm. Should I try to go to a bible study even though I have some social anxiety?

 

[Jess73]

Hello Brikkz! I agree with others who say it sounds like social anxiety. I can't believe how alike we all are when having axiety. You are NOT stupid! I see myself in a lot of what you say. I understand your praying issues and I have a suggestion that helped me. I bought a little note book and wrote prayers in it and literally read them to God. He made us and He understands us and our struggles and I think He has no problem with us reading our prayers. Eventually I believe you won't have to do that anymore.
Also, I understand your concern about going to the doc. Been there done that. All I can say is that it helped me. I've got a running prayer list going today and I'll add you to it.