Another Question about relationships

[f U z ! o N]

say the person you were dating was going through a hard time spiritually and was lukewarm in their faith. What would you do? would you criticize them and breakup with them and such or grab a bible, drag them to a couch, and read it with them? The reason i ask this is because i went through a hard time and all my ex did was get mad at me and never once grab a bible to help me.

 

[PETE_]

What people would do is really irrelevant. They better question is what should you do? Sounds like you know the answer to that already. Christian love works much better.

 

[ItalianAngel]

say the person you were dating was going through a hard time spiritually and was lukewarm in their faith. What would you do? would you criticize them and breakup with them and such or grab a bible, drag them to a couch, and read it with them? The reason i ask this is because i went through a hard time and all my ex did was get mad at me and never once grab a bible to help me.

Hi fUz!oN,

To answer your question, I've thought about what I would do if my sweetheart was going through a difficult time spiritually. First of all, I wouldn't get angry at him. Anger or trying to force someone to be closer to God will most likely always acomplish the opposite of your intententions. Would I "grab a bible" to help him? Yes, and no. I would read the bible on my own, find scriptures on how to pray for him, and I would gently tell him that I am praying for him and let him know, if you want to pray with me, I'm here for you. Sometimes praying for someone is the best thing you can do for them.

blessings,
~Michele

 

[hasnoname]

I would do the same thing I would for any brother or sister in Christ. Pray for them, talk to them, and love them to death. Dont do anything to push them away (like invoking your will on them...basically telling them how bad they are...or how much they need to change). Just share God with them whenever possible...because real God...not us trying to be spiritually superior...is some powerful stuff.

 

[ByLoveAndGrace]

Honestly, neither. I would sit down with them, and explain my concerns, and then ask them to pray with me.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

My bf already knows what's in the Bible, but he still tried to have sex with me. Before our first kiss I brought up the topic of sex and he gave me great reasons why it should be saved for marriage.

Now, when we have some kind of a discussion and I feel like he's questioning my walk; I throw the sex thing back in his face and ask how he can lecture me. So, now I'm feeling convicted in this area. The last time this happened I did start to wonder how I would let him lead me spiritually if we did get married.

It depends what kind of problem you were having. Maybe your ex-gf didn't feel like she was qualified to help you in this area so she just gave up.

 

[Inperfected]

say the person you were dating was going through a hard time spiritually and was lukewarm in their faith. What would you do? would you criticize them and breakup with them and such or grab a bible, drag them to a couch, and read it with them? The reason i ask this is because i went through a hard time and all my ex did was get mad at me and never once grab a bible to help me.

Quite honestly, I just pray and gently push (only becauwse he's my fiance, and we sorta feel "responsible" for knowing where the other is at, and helping if possible. I push by praying together, and asking him to pray out loud with me. It draws us closer i guess, but it draws us into a better understanding of God also. Also we think the "two becoming one flesh" relates to the spiritual emotional and physical aspect so it is needed to come closer spiritually (if on the track to marriage in the nearish future)...

As to what I'd do? Well it did get to a point with my fiance where I would've broken up with him, but we got through it by the help and relationship of Jesus... Before marriage, you have a responsiblity to work out whether your future partner is going to be a godly man or woman... or not. If not, then it is obvious.`
`

 

[f U z ! o N]

well i did struggle with giving up secular music and i was interested in evolutionary theory which i don't accept anymore. i think that was all we really had a difference about. but i feel like she just gave up on me. i really blame myself for alot of the problems because i wanted to be that spiritual man and she just really didn't have much faith in me i guess. now that we broke up, i'm becoming that man i wanted to be. it just took some time, time that i wish she would have given me. sure, i made my mistakes and at the time i didn't understand what i did wrong but now God has really convicted me and I am changing into the man I wanted to be for her but never really was able to reach. but I know I'll never get to date her again which hurts. i really wanted her to just give me time, pray for me, and read the bible with me which never happened. i was just curious if you guys would give up or try your hardest to help them. that's what hurts the most and motivates me every day to become that man i wish i was in our relationship. i don't want to go back to how I originally as. i was spiritually immature and i tried so hard to be a good Christian. but when I made a mistake, i was nothing in her eyes when all I wanted was love. After a while, i realized my mistake and corrected it but it was too late. i guess the damage had allready been done. even though i apologized profusely, i'm guessing it didn't matter. in her eyes, i wasn't a Godly man. i tried SO hard. It's a really hard struggle when your parents don't go to church, some of your friends don't go to church, and you ex girlfriend nags you constantly because you make a mistake.

the one mistake that breaks my heart was when i was being stupid and jokingly tried to rent the 40 year old virgin with me and her and our friends. most of them laughed at me she got mad at me. she was justified in her anger but once again, i was spiritually immature. i mean don't get me wrong we were kinda incompatible in other areas. im an outside person, shes an inside person. but we had SO MUCH in common it was crazy. but i blame myself daily for being spiritually immature. i get kinda jealous of these people who are so good and have such a fire for God that I know I'm working hard to become but i wish i was like that then and not now.

i have nailed down what i believe, what i believe is wrong and such. i know now, the next relationship I'm in, to not make these mistakes, because losing someone you love is an incredible motivator to change for the better, not to mention God convicting you.

but i guess I'm saying, if you are dating someone who is lukewarm and making mistakes, if you love them, stick with them, pray for them, read the Bible with them, and see if they change. I know that if we would have read the Bible and prayed more, things would be different. it takes two to tango and it's really hard not having the support structure of your gf. please girls, pray for your Guys, pray with your guys, read the Bible with him, you never know how much it may mean to him and how much it would have meant to me. I know we would still be together becaue God would have ironed out the stupid sides of me.

Am i glad me and her broke up? yes and no due to other things besides spirituality.

But, yeah thats my rant.

 

[eatenbylocusts]

fUz!oN- This past Sunday I was talking to two wonderful, mature Christian women about the relationship with my uncommited bf. The one thing that they both said was that if it was meant to be, it would happen. I should be obedient and pray and not worry about making things happen.
When my ex-h was my fiance he cheated on me. This ended up causing me to repent and start living like a Christian. I'm thankful that it happened if that was the only way I was going to change. I began praying for and sharing scripture with my ex-fiance until he had told me that he had accepted Christ. I thought that meant we should be together since I fell in love with him again after reading scripture together. The changes were short-lived and marriage was painful.
My point is that I should've prayed for him, but distanced myself from him. We had a lot of differences that made marriage harder (culture, work ethic, family upbringing). If your gf was feeling like she might have been tempted to sin because of her relationship with you, then she might've made a very wise decision.
You mentioned that you like the outside and she likes to stay inside. A few years into a marriage that might've been a real stressor. It's much better if spouses have some hobbies in common that will build up the friendship in the marriage, not keep them apart. I think some separate hobbies are good, but I would be bummed if I had to go camping without my spouse all the time.
If the relationship that I'm in now does not work out I will try to keep my own advice in mind-it wasn't meant to be.
I was deeply in love with my ex-bf who was such a strong Christian and was so compatible with me. I catch myself wondering sometimes if there ever might be a chance, but now I'm not worrying about if there is/was something that I should do to make it happen. If the ex-bf doesn't initiate something then it's not meant to be.

God may have a wonderful camping gf in store for you! Keep up with your spiritual growth and you will be blessed no matter who comes into your life next.

 

[f U z ! o N]

fUz!oN- This past Sunday I was talking to two wonderful, mature Christian women about the relationship with my uncommited bf. The one thing that they both said was that if it was meant to be, it would happen. I should be obedient and pray and not worry about making things happen.
When my ex-h was my fiance he cheated on me. This ended up causing me to repent and start living like a Christian. I'm thankful that it happened if that was the only way I was going to change. I began praying for and sharing scripture with my ex-fiance until he had told me that he had accepted Christ. I thought that meant we should be together since I fell in love with him again after reading scripture together. The changes were short-lived and marriage was painful.
My point is that I should've prayed for him, but distanced myself from him. We had a lot of differences that made marriage harder (culture, work ethic, family upbringing). If your gf was feeling like she might have been tempted to sin because of her relationship with you, then she might've made a very wise decision.
You mentioned that you like the outside and she likes to stay inside. A few years into a marriage that might've been a real stressor. It's much better if spouses have some hobbies in common that will build up the friendship in the marriage, not keep them apart. I think some separate hobbies are good, but I would be bummed if I had to go camping without my spouse all the time.
If the relationship that I'm in now does not work out I will try to keep my own advice in mind-it wasn't meant to be.
I was deeply in love with my ex-bf who was such a strong Christian and was so compatible with me. I catch myself wondering sometimes if there ever might be a chance, but now I'm not worrying about if there is/was something that I should do to make it happen. If the ex-bf doesn't initiate something then it's not meant to be.

God may have a wonderful camping gf in store for you! Keep up with your spiritual growth and you will be blessed no matter who comes into your life next.

and thats what kills me every day. i was causing her to sin i guess. by the things i did. but what gets me even more is she does go outside and such and does go camping with her friends. she could have done some of those things with me. but she lies to me and tells me she is more of an inside person. granted i'm looking for a girl that wants to go mountain biking and snowboarding and fishing. she doesn't really like doing those things. granted, i can do those things with friends but its more special if your SO can do it with you. the part about causing her to sin is correct and thats what hurts so bad. i was so spiritually immature that i hurt her without realizing it. and i can never go back and fix it. i asked her after making those mistakes to please read the bible with me and she said No. she also stopped doing devotions with me. it was like when we did devotions and prayed, things were great. but when they stopped, things went downhill. i'm not blaming her for it all as i caused alot of it. but it hurts to to be lied too and betratyed as she did to me. i really admire this couple at the church i go to who are my age. they are such strong christians and they really care about each other. i desire that so bad. but i know i have to wait. i may have had that but i guess i destroyed it with my stupidity. granted secular music and evolutionary theory aren't sins but they are not very smart things i guess for a Christian. now that i see what I did, i'm motivated to NEVER EVER make those mistakes again and hurt someone. if i could go back in time i would. yes, we were a great couple but God was lacking because I tried to keep God in our relationship but when you don't read the Bible together, don't do devotions anymore, or pray it goes downhill fast.

i know now what to do in my next relationship. I pray God gives me another chance oneday.

 

[f U z ! o N]

but yeah, those were the only mistakes i made.

evolutionary theory, having a difficult time giving up secular music (which i finally did!!!!! ), trying to rent the 40 year old virgin

thats all i can remember i ever struggled with.

but we all struggle at some point right?

 

[princessellie]

say the person you were dating was going through a hard time spiritually and was lukewarm in their faith. What would you do? would you criticize them and breakup with them and such or grab a bible, drag them to a couch, and read it with them? The reason i ask this is because i went through a hard time and all my ex did was get mad at me and never once grab a bible to help me.

without a doubt grab the word, reading the bible together not only strengthens your faith but also your relationship, trust me