Another lost marriage

[UnworthyofHim]

We never argue. It's always " I don't want to talk about it."

 

[wonder111]

that is complicated then. It's hard to deal with issues when one isn't willing to talk about it. It seems like you are willing to work on it, but it takes 2.

continue your praying, and don't lose faith. When your faith is strong so are you.


keep us posted!
Michelle

 

[blitzn]

We never argue. It's always " I don't want to talk about it."

It's almost unnerving hearing your describe your wife's behavior and her responses to wanting to talk about what's going on. My wife responds exactly the same way. Back when we were still living together she would never be willing to talk about what the problems were that were going on and she would almost always say "I'm not gonna argue with you about this" nearly every time we needed to talk something out. I told her that I didn't want to argue, but to talk about it and reach a good solution. She almost never would, and I know that her unwillingness to do this has played a large role in getting us where we are right now. My wife's idea of "trying" was putting up with the things she didn't like about me, as opposed to looking at herself and her own behaviors, as I was, and trying to improve. It's almost as if she just couldn't. Now, granted, my wife has had a very rough childhood and was not given healthy love when she needed it, was abused, etc, and I know those things are playing a huge role in her actions right now. This is why I'm standing up for her (and because the Lord is leading me to) despite what's going on. Every single person in her life who should have loved her has failed, left, or abused her in one way or another. When we became engaged she and I said that we were going to "break the cycle" of the all the bad things in her family, the divorces, the abandonment, the abuse, so many things.

At this time I know the Lord has not released me from her, and I really don't want to be released (in my heart), I want the Lord to perform miracles in my wife's life and our marriage and to use me and everything that He's doing for us to bring Him glory. I'm the only one in her life who has not left her, and I just won't unless the Lord leads me to move on. I don't believe this is His will for me, but I pray to Him to show me in a way that I'll understand, so that I know that I know what His will is.

This garbage just has to end! I've seen Satan destroy so many marriages, especially Christian marriages and because many folks given up so easily and don't seek the Lord, Satan his killed the potential that was in those marriages to bring God glory and for healing and reconciliation to take place. I know as far as I feel, I want the Lord to use me to to walk all over Satan and his plans in Jesus name. I will spend the rest of my life serving Christ and making it my business to help others in need and crush Satan's plans IN JESUS NAME, even if the Lord leads my wife and I down different roads. Many people don't stop to consider that the Lord may allow things and situations to escalate in the natural to the point where any normal person would say "that's impossible, there's no way...", but don't we understand that those situations are EXACTLY the ones that the Lord wants to use? The blessed end result will be without a doubt, the work of the Lord! Praise Jesus!

UnworthyofHim, I don't have to tell you that the best thing to do is seek the Lord about this, as I'm sure you have. There's a reason she's behaving this way and there's a reason the Lord is allowing these things to happen in your marriage just as He is in mine. Ask him to reveal things to you supernaturally, to show you what to do. It's as if we need to be "blind" in the natural, not able to see; there is no one else but the Lord to help us. He is holding our hands, leading us forward as we trust in Him that He's taking us where we need to go.

- blitzn

 

[GREG]

Our pastor had referred us to a husband and wife counselor team for that very purpose. However, she used her individual sessions to make herself out as a victim, and has adamantly refused any couples counsel.

My wife did the same thing............ I will not go to any counselling no matter what. I went just because I needed to and wanted too. It is important you work on yourself everyday. Love is there to be with us no matter what is said or done. We say "I Do" when we marry for a reason.... It is permanent not Temporary. If you do what ever it takes, God will provide. Dont look to see what the other is doing or compare in any way. It isnt a matter of I am doing and you are not. I am rambling on and I am sorry. I know of Blitzn story, Warrior Poets and even mine...... I am here for you and I know the 2 I mentioned are as well. let me know if I can do anything or share my experience. I do have kids and I tell you it was "Hell"

God Bless
Greg

 

[GREG]

We never argue. It's always " I don't want to talk about it."

let it rest............ let time heal all wounds

 

[desi]

Unworthy of Him I would change your sig to Unworthy of Her. It sounds like she was quite the manipulator. Hope you can let this go and move on, if not you're in for some long term pain.

 

[chris320]

Unworthy of Him I would change your sig to Unworthy of Her. It sounds like she was quite the manipulator. Hope you can let this go and move on, if not you're in for some long term pain.

I agree with Desi on this one. Sounds like she is messing around with someone else and her sin is driving her away from the Church and anyone's attempts to reconcile the marriage. Just let her go in your heart and allow God to bring you someone else who will be faithful to you and stick with you during the hard times. You have a tough road ahead emotionally, but just remember Jesus will not leave you. Keep up your devotions and prayer life, as well.

-Chris320