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Annoying IRL friend problems - what to do?

linux.poet

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1. One of my friends will consistently vent to me about all the negative things other people have done to them this week, and then, after going through their rant, will turn to me and say “Please tell me something positive,” at which point my brain shuts down and I can’t think of anything really positive to tell them because I’m still thinking about all the negative stuff they just told me.

Is this person a narcissist? Should I make a habit of writing “positive things” down so that I have something to tell them and “override my brain” so to speak? Should I aim for spiritual edification (positive Scripture) or just rebuke them for placing me in an impossible situation?

2. This same friend is broke, and the two of us went to considerable lengths to retrieve an expensive set of trading cards from their parents’ house that they want me to sell. Unfortunately for them, I know nothing about how to sell trading cards, and they don’t either. Nor do I have the time or interest to learn the ins and outs of the trading card industry and valuations. This looks like a lose-lose situation because if I price it too high, it will not sell (and they are impatient and nagging), and if I price it too low, they will accuse me of ripping them off (and rightfully so). I downloaded a trading card value app, but it will take months for me to even appraise the cards. This person badly needs money and is refusing to learn how to sell the cards themselves. I am concerned that this is all a narcissistic trap. What would you advise me to do?
 
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jacks

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It's a tough situation. I wish I had some sage advice that would solve the problem, unfortunately some people are perpetually needy and negative. Often they will clam on to nice, helpful people and just precede to suck them dry. Frankly my only advice would be to distance yourself from this person, so she doesn't bring you down in her endless drama. Perhaps someone will have more helpful suggestions, but I've found some people are just best to avoid.
Praying the situation improves.
 
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linux.poet

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What is a trading card? Do you mean like baseball cards or football cards.
These are trading card binders of Buffy the Vampire Slayer trading cards. I’ve never seen the show and know next to nothing about them.
 
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d taylor

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linux.poet

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Frankly my only advice would be to distance yourself from this person, so she doesn't bring you down in her endless drama. Perhaps someone will have more helpful suggestions, but I've found some people are just best to avoid.
Previously, this person has actually changed their behavior around me in response to stern correctives that I have given them. I am wondering if a yet another stern corrective is needed, and if so, what I should put in it.

It is likely they are enacting a narcissistic behavior pattern they have learned rather than having full blown NPD, if that is what they are doing. I want to be careful because just because this person is making impossible demands of me that I cannot meet and that reminds me of my dad who did the same thing, I don't want to be jumping to conclusions because that could be really damaging here. It is possible that they really are in a negative environment that they really just are that sensitive to, and it is also possible they don't understand how difficult what they are expecting me to do is for me.

(It's also possible that I'm lazy and when faced with a hard task, I resort to whining about it instead of actually doing anything. :p)

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Ok ebay does a lot in card collection selling i looked up the cards you have.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer Trading Cards for sale | eBay

This may give an idea if the cards have any worth.
I did that, but it's hard to match the sets my friend has with those on sale and figure out how to price them correctly. That's a headache. It's a double headache because my friend needs to approve the price that I put them on sale for.
 
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com7fy8

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1. One of my friends will consistently vent to me about all the negative things other people have done to them this week, and then, after going through their rant, will turn to me and say “Please tell me something positive,” at which point my brain shuts down and I can’t think of anything really positive to tell them because I’m still thinking about all the negative stuff they just told me.
So, you need to be stronger and wise so negative people can't have power over you. And as God corrects you, submit to Him and discover how He has you take care of things . . . in His peace with His creativity. You are not expected to handle this on your own!
Is this person a narcissist? Should I make a habit of writing “positive things” down so that I have something to tell them and “override my brain” so to speak?
I would say be changed by God so wrong people can't get the better of you.

Never mind what the world could give him for a label. God knows him and God is able to guide you and arrange things according to what He knows.

Therefore pray - - - like all of us need to do about this.
Should I aim for spiritual edification (positive Scripture) or just rebuke them for placing me in an impossible situation?
You can use scripture to show you are not able to handle anything right, without God. And he, too, can get with God.
2. This same friend is broke, and the two of us went to considerable lengths to retrieve an expensive set of trading cards from their parents’ house that they want me to sell.
Who owns the cards? That one has the right to make choices, I would say. And you likely need to turn them over to the owner and hold *that* person responsible.
Unfortunately for them, I know nothing about how to sell trading cards, and they don’t either.
I say they are responsible.
Nor do I have the time or interest to learn the ins and outs of the trading card industry and valuations.
Do not get tangled in worldly things >

"No one engaged in warfare entangles himself with the affairs of this life, that he may please him who enlisted him as a soldier." (2 Timothy 2:4)

"I will not be brought under the power of any." (in 1 Corinthians 6:12)

You have let this get you under its power. Get clear of it and submit to God instead.
This looks like a lose-lose situation because if I price it too high, it will not sell (and they are impatient and nagging), and if I price it too low, they will accuse me of ripping them off (and rightfully so).
Let the owner compare collectors' prices and auction offers. You don't have to take responsibility for that. In case they threaten to blame you for their mistake, advise them you don't know that stuff, and advise them to hold the cards until they are satisfied they know what to do because they made sure, themselves, and you are not the one qualified to handle it.
I downloaded a trading card value app, but it will take months for me to even appraise the cards. This person badly needs money and is refusing to learn how to sell the cards themselves. I am concerned that this is all a narcissistic trap. What would you advise me to do?
I would not trust an app or anything else about that stuff. Leave them to be responsible for it.

The person's irresponsible personality likely will just cancel however you try to help the person. The person oneself needs to develop a personality able to manage finances in a sustainable way. If you help the person to get money now, likely the person will somehow waste it anyway.

Your life and time belong to the Lord.
 
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com7fy8

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These are trading card binders of Buffy the Vampire Slayer trading cards. I’ve never seen the show and know next to nothing about them.
I personally understand that stuff could be occult and Satanic. So, if I owned such cards, I likely would destroy them. I would not want to take advantage of someone who is foolish enough to invest time and money and attention into that stuff.

Of course, Buffy might have a lesson for you: one of her main secrets for defeating demons is she just refuses to be afraid of them; don't you be intimated by demonic people; do not give in to joining them in their stupid nonsense.

But, of course, this works with Jesus. Feed on His word with all which is guaranteed to work in submission to the Lord.

Yes, if you can say things to help the person, fine. But do not allow the person to control you. Sometimes a tricky person can pretend you are helping the person, so that person can reel you in under the person's power and control.

So, make sure you have trusted in Jesus for all He has died for, for us, and submit to Jesus in His yoke so you are doing things in His love's rest in sharing with Him >

"'Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:29)

"casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:7)
 
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