Angry...

MusicalProgrammer said:

Today was our anniversary, (2nd married, 10th since we started dating), and it should have been a happy occassion, but was marred by an incident at dinner. We went to a very fancy restaurant, and were seated right by the wall with a mirror on it. A few minutes after we sit down, another couple was seated at the table right next to ours. A short time later, as I am responding to our waiter, I accidentally catch a look right at the woman's chest (she's diagonally across from me), and notice that, by virtue of her extremely low-cut dress, there is a lot exposed. Well, this flustered me a lot, and I spent all dinner actively avoiding looking in either direction (recall that the mirror was to the right). Despite prayer and trying to put it out of my mind, I just couldn't manage it, and my wife could tell something was bothering me, which ended up getting her distressed. I told her after dinner what it was, and she was upset because she didn't see it as a big deal that was worth ruining dinner over.

Now, I don't see it necessarily as little, because while I may not have lusted (sexually) per se, it certainly distracted me and affected my walk with God in a negative manner, as well as spoiled the special evening with my wife.

Now I'm angry at myself for ruining the evening, angry at the woman for her choice in dress (or lack thereof) that caused me, and perhaps others, to slip, and angry at Satan for striking at me like that. I know I'm really to blame, which just makes me more frustrated. There are enough struggles with temptation and sin without having to deal with seeing stuff like that on a consistent, daily basis (especially on a college campus).

I wonder how difficult it would have been for Jesus to remain pure and sinless in today's morally depraved society. (rhetorical, I know He would have)

I know all I can do is tighten the armor of God around me and keep praying for the new, sanctified nature where I don't notice these things any more.

Thanks for listening to me vent.

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kayanne said:

As a woman who has lived her entire life in the US, it's hard to believe that in other countries, guys do not find breasts sexy. Is that really true? Are women allowed to go around in public with no shirts on? In your country, if a woman is trying to look sexy, is cleavage not one of the ways she does so?

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MERCY@GRACE said:

YA know, I knew that men were visual, and that lust is one of the top 5 struggles, but you sharing your story makes me see the intensity!! Praise God you didn't entertain any illicit thoughts, I just have a hard time understanding (altho i believe the intensity) how a woman can be soooo distracting while not fantasizing. Is it the "concept" of "trying" NOT to go there in your head that made you so flustered??

I also agree, that we as christian women (the ones who KNOW better) should avoid provocative clothing in public places!

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Clement of Alexandria said:

I don't understand what the big deal is about breasts in American culture. I just finished spending all day with my sister and sister-in-law and they both had babies last month and they were both feeding the infants in front of the family and friends. No one got embarrassed, or anxious, or "stumbling" in the way you've described. You look, because it is a part of life that we as Christians all celebrate. But there is nothing to be afraid of from lumps of fat made for babies!

I think we all need to stop making a fetish that causes disturbances out of such a mundane part of the body.

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Clement of Alexandria said:

The American culture's relationship to the female breasts is very unusual in the world. In no other country do you see the high percentage of women getting breast implants, breast reductions, push up bras, etc. In no other country is there such a taboo about public breastfeeding.

I remember having a conversation with a group of women in Mali, west Africa, and I told them that American men are attracted to breast tissue of women, and the women busted out laughing. They could not believe what I was telling them, and incredulously, they asked "Do you mean grown men are attracted to breasts like little babies?" Breasts in most cultures simply do not have the social and sexual meaning that American Christian culture pours into them.

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