Anger

[UnitynLove]

Proverbs 15:1

A soft answer turns away wrath, but grievous words stir up anger. "Amplified bible."

Basically

A soft answer turns ways wrath (anger, vengeance, destruction, revenge, bitterness) but grievous words (hurtful words, words that cause harm) stirs up anger.

Question:

Why does a soft answer turn away wrath and why does grievous words stir up anger? Because more than likely those that stir up anger are also angry themselves and out of control. They are themselves tortured by anger, and anger is torture. I love that the scriptures say's "grievous words." When you grieve you are sorrowful, depressed, lacking hope, and will to go on. And since you can only give away what you have, in this case grievous words (angry words), you yourself are grievous, sad, depressed, lacking hope, lacking the will to go on." For it is written "out of the abundance of heart the mouth speaks" you can learn a lot what's in peoples heart as they speak. Now I'm not saying that if someone does something crazy you shouldn't get angry. Because anger is not a sin, but to hold on to anger is a sin. I'm talking about a person who is constantly stirring up strife, anger, bitterness, wrath. These are the people who constantly want to fight, saying hurtful words to you, or try to cut you down. I am talking about these kind of people. And why are these people spitting out grievous words? Something is wrong in their lives. The Bible says "See that no root of bitterness spring up in you, and by it MANY become defiled." You become defiled if you have bitterness in your heart. And what is the mother of bitterness? Unforgiveness. And what is the mother of unforgiveness? Anger!! So it stands to see that if you hold on to anger it will eventually turn into unforgiveness, and then turn into bitterness and then you shall be grieved, sad, depressed with no hope, lack of drive, and in pain. And you shall begin to spit out grievous words because you yourself are grieved, lacking hope, miserable, depressed, lack of drive for life.

"Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks" So you can tell how happy and how sad someone is by the words they speak and the actions they take towards you. And it all started with anger. Now lets look at the man with the soft answer. Why does he react the same way as the grievous man? Because he knows that this person is tortured and in pain. For it is written "he that is slow the anger has "GREAT UNDERSTANDING." He knows why they are acting the way they do. "But he who is quick in spirit (quick to get angry) exalts his own folly (Brings more trouble on himself). The man with the soft answer has great understanding of what is going on with the man with the grievous words. He doesn't even bother replying the same way because he knows that this individual is miserable, lacking hope, lacking the will to go on. They may try to hurt you but they themselves are hurting a 100 times more. No wonder Jesus said "strive not against and evil person" because this person is suffering already. Pray for him/her because they are only acting that way because they are tortured. The soft answer man has great understanding (knowledge) "The beginning of knowledge is the fear of the Lord." Therefore he is free from anger, bitterness, resentment, strife, wrath because he knows that this will bring about his evil doing. "Cease from anger forsake wrath...for it only tends to evil doing (destruction)

 

[Angeldove97]

Why does a soft answer turn away wrath and why does grievous words stir up anger? Because more than likely those that stir up anger are also angry themselves and out of control. They are themselves tortured by anger, and anger is torture.

The reason behind why a soft answer works better than screaming back at someone is because what is meant by a "soft answer" is that we ought to put our emotions in check and realize that perhaps showing anger towards this person is NOT the right emotion.

Think of a person you love dearly--- how does one show love to that person? Not by yelling and screaming, but by going to the person they love when they're upset, telling them calmly why they're upset, and talking it out between themselves.

One of the most inspirational moments in my life when it comes to seeing how a marriage should be was when I was visiting a couple, who were believers and had been married both previously. We were all going to a church service at a new church where some of their friends went to see a musician play that night. The wife wanted to have her hair down and uncovered, while the husband had asked her to cover her hair--- for the sake that most women would have had their heads covered there too and he didn't want to offend their friends. Instead of yelling at his wife who refused a few times to do it, he lovingly took her into another room where they could talk privately, explained the situation to her, and asked if she could do him this favor and it would make him happy. Being the loving wife that she is and knowing that this wasn't a thing to fight over, she happily complied.

And so it goes with smaller issues and bigger issues in life--- not just with our spouses or boyfriend/girlfriends but also with all of our friends and family members.

God is not saying that we can never be angry--- there's a time and a place for it, it's an emotion that God has given us, and it helps us realize what is important to us and what is not. The thing is is that God wants us to show unconditional love in everything that we do and usually anger gets in the way of showing unconditional love.

A parent might be angry at a child and disciplines him or her because of it. The parent might show stern anger to have the child realize this is a serious offense. But the parent is also doing it out of love for the child--- and there, of course, is a right way and a wrong way to show anger and discipline towards a person.

A good example on anger is how Jesus came into the temple and saw all the money changers and people selling animals there. He was very angry that people had turned this place of worship into a market place! So He showed His anger then: not to hurt anybody, but to have people realize what a serious offense this was in His Father's eyes.

I'm talking about a person who is constantly stirring up strife, anger, bitterness, wrath. These are the people who constantly want to fight, saying hurtful words to you, or try to cut you down. I am talking about these kind of people. And why are these people spitting out grievous words? Something is wrong in their lives.

Yes this is often true that a person who is constantly picking a fight usually have some private life issues that need to be taken care of. This reminds me of something that is currently going on in my own life: I'm moving to my first apartment--- I've lived with my parents for a few months since I graduated from college. I've never moved before--- we came to this house when I was 6 months old, so I never had to deal with moving before. My Mom is being extremely helpful, to the point of where she seems to be babying us (my sister and I), while my Dad is basically stepping back and letting us do our own thing, while throwing tidbits of information out. Still I'm stressed out, I've been doing alot of decision making, and my sister is sorta slacking off, in my pov. This has lead me to be very stressed, with little patience, and my boyfriend, in turn, is getting the worst of it.

I realize I shouldn't be showing anger towards him--- I know very well it doesn't show him how much I truly love him. He's doing his best to be patient with me as well, but has had to remind me lately that I need to stop acting like this. So I'm trying to bite my tongue and avoid picking fights with him--- I don't need to be fighting with him because I truly do need his loving support during this time.

The soft answer man has great understanding (knowledge) "The beginning of knowledge is the fear of the Lord." Therefore he is free from anger, bitterness, resentment, strife, wrath because he knows that this will bring about his evil doing.

This passage is also very true: I know what I am doing is wrong because I've studied the Bible and I have the Holy Spirit in my heart reminding me that this reaction is wrong. The Holy Spirit can usually be a wondeful guide on how we ought to live our lives, we just need to know how to listen to what it is saying.

During our struggles in life, it will go better for us if we rememeber to love. While people might be hurting us in our lives, God still wants us to show love to every person, every enemy, every friend, every stranger. We will never know how one small smile or thank you to a person might effect their lives. We also need to remember to pray over our needs and have patience knowing that the Lord will answer our prayers in time. This is hard to understand, but God will answer prayers--- in time and in His own way.

 

[Anti Existance]

Its really not at all that difficult , the phrase "putting oil on the fire" comes to mind.

Example:

You lost a loved one=the fire , i start laughing at you for loss = oil on the fire.

Negativity + Negativity = MORE Negativity,

Soft Sample:

You lost a loved one=the fire, i give you a hug.= putting water on fire.

Negativity + positivity = less negativity.


This is why Jesus says: Do not fight evil with evil. Because the end result = more evil. The situation worsens , and this can also be done in a verbal way (me laughing at your loss) would be grievefull words that would increase the sadness with exactly that negativity, this is why grievefull words cause more misery compared to a soft answer.

 

[Angeldove97]

This is why Jesus says: Do not fight evil with evil. Because the end result = more evil.

So very true-- and I see this happen ALOT in marriages. It's shocking because especially in a marriage we're called to be one and to love each other no matter what... yet we feel when we're fighting about something that we have to up show the other person. Why???

I catch myself doing that with my sweetheart, Sean. He's naturally a defensive person who LOVES to debate people--- so it often comes out when we're disagreeing about something. He's never mean to me, but I'm more hurt about him being defensive towards me than what's actually saying to me.

Anyways, you're right.... we need to realize what we're doing and stop it because it will NOT help the situation at all and will just bring more hurt into the relationship.