maybe one of you who feel quailfied should post a study on anger. Including myself,we all struggle with this at time to time. Give me your thoughts on it,can you help us with it?
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CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
anger study
- Thread starter Evie
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- Sep 25, 2004
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This is not a study, but a personal thought. I had a great deal of suppressed anger in my life...since early childhood. It was a surprise to me to learn it is not a "sin" to get angry. But the Lord directs us to sin not when we "are" angry.
We are supposed to be able to feel this emotion and still have self control at work in how we react to whatever is making us angry. That takes a good deal of time with the Lord (for me)...pouring out my heart to Him...learning to speak up when necessary.
I also learned that deep hurts can be surrounded by anger and fear...when the hurts are healed or acknowledged...much anger goes a away.
Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. Eph. 26-27
From first hand experience...from my own anger issues I know how dstructive this emotion can be...so I have tried to let the Lord deal with me...and He has...I have not "made it any where" to say I am "perfect"...but much peace has come.
We have good scriptures directing our hearts about anger:
Ec. 7:9 Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, for anger resides in the bosom of fools.
Pr 16:32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
Ps 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret, it only leads to evil doing.
Pr 19:11 A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is to his glory to overlook a transgression.
Ja 1:19 This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.
We are supposed to be able to feel this emotion and still have self control at work in how we react to whatever is making us angry. That takes a good deal of time with the Lord (for me)...pouring out my heart to Him...learning to speak up when necessary.
I also learned that deep hurts can be surrounded by anger and fear...when the hurts are healed or acknowledged...much anger goes a away.
Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. Eph. 26-27
From first hand experience...from my own anger issues I know how dstructive this emotion can be...so I have tried to let the Lord deal with me...and He has...I have not "made it any where" to say I am "perfect"...but much peace has come.
We have good scriptures directing our hearts about anger:
Ec. 7:9 Do not be eager in your heart to be angry, for anger resides in the bosom of fools.
Pr 16:32 He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.
Ps 37:8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath; do not fret, it only leads to evil doing.
Pr 19:11 A man's discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is to his glory to overlook a transgression.
Ja 1:19 This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger.
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daughterofzion
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Anger can turn into rage because of bitterness, the need for healing , the need to forgive and to be forgiven. How do we get to the root of it and pull it out.
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daughterofzion said:
Being forgiving toward the person who has caused the bitterness and or surrendering (sometimes continual surrendeing) a bitter circumstance to Jesus will get to the root. His great love and peace will pull the root out, bringing much healing!
Isaiah 53:4-5 Surely He hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem Him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon Him; and with His stripes we are healed.
Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.
This is not to say that forgiveness be easy to do...here's another thread about forgiveness...
http://www.christianforums.com/t1470477-question-about-forgiveness-justice-responsibility.html
Links for Bible studies on anger...
http://www.christianwomentoday.com/womenmen/anger.html?a=836
http://www.bright.net/~1wayonly/anger.html
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man,this stuff is good. Does anyone have anything else? It's really helping me,at least I'm trying. I still can't figure out why I do get so angry though?
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- Sep 25, 2004
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Evie said:man,this stuff is good. Does anyone have anything else? It's really helping me,at least I'm trying. I still can't figure out why I do get so angry though?
Sometimes...it is a learned habit...that we just have to "unlearn"...especially if no underlying causes seem evident.
Put off the old man...and put on the new man. As I tried to do that...the Lord would uncover hidden areas for me, I did not have to dig for anything...my job was and still is to seek His face...keep my heart and eyes focused on Him as much as possible.
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Check and see if the triggers are based on fears.
Fear of failing
fear of rejection
lack of respect
being misunderstood
overwhelming success and attention
intrusion and control.
Then look at some simple physical things
Too much salt or MSG
Too many cups of coffee
Holding your breath while you work
Mold in your basement
Food dyes (red, yellow) or allergies (oranges, tomatoes)
Chemical cycles with strong mood swings
Fear of failing
fear of rejection
lack of respect
being misunderstood
overwhelming success and attention
intrusion and control.
Then look at some simple physical things
Too much salt or MSG
Too many cups of coffee
Holding your breath while you work
Mold in your basement
Food dyes (red, yellow) or allergies (oranges, tomatoes)
Chemical cycles with strong mood swings
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these are really good also,I heard today that anger is often telling you that something - that a boundary has been crossed like you listed. I still can't figure that out until just now. many years ago,I had a an abusive husband so I have a tendency of not abusing but yelling at my kids. So what do I do from here? I hate this and fought with it for years. I'm putting this baby up to the altar,please pray for me.heron said:
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Abuse takes so long to get over...never fair that his bad influence drags on and on!
It's easy to see abusive tendencies in the kids' attitudes. Mothers are not only afraid of these signs generally, and of it not happening again, but of their kids picking up their fathers' methods (especially if he has visitation or joint custody).
Yelling can represent a loss of control. Life didn't happen they way you planned it. When things feel out of order, we tend to shout louder until someone understands us (usually the opposite effect.) You might feel unsupported by your kids. They might have had a lot to deal with from their father, too.
It's easy to see abusive tendencies in the kids' attitudes. Mothers are not only afraid of these signs generally, and of it not happening again, but of their kids picking up their fathers' methods (especially if he has visitation or joint custody).
Yelling can represent a loss of control. Life didn't happen they way you planned it. When things feel out of order, we tend to shout louder until someone understands us (usually the opposite effect.) You might feel unsupported by your kids. They might have had a lot to deal with from their father, too.
Father, wrap your love around Evie. You are her great Defender, Healer, Comforter, Provider. You know the struggles that Evie has gone through all these years, not just from abuse, but raising the children, probably working and trying to keep life afloat.
Show her that life will not always be this way. Bring back the warmth and trust and fun she had with her kids when they were young. Give the kids an appreciation of everything she has done to manage, to support them and give them a good life.
Release her from damages of the past, and release her to walk contentedly through life.
Show her that life will not always be this way. Bring back the warmth and trust and fun she had with her kids when they were young. Give the kids an appreciation of everything she has done to manage, to support them and give them a good life.
Release her from damages of the past, and release her to walk contentedly through life.
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Hello...
I have been reading these posts on anger...and found it an interesting topic...for I too walked in rage and anger for years...and yes, it had to do with my past...and hurts...but a day came...when I came to the end of the road, so to speak...and the Lord brought deliverance from this prison I was in. I was a new person...and one day, I remember getting angry over something, and I went into the kitchen and slammed the cupboard doors and flounced down the hall to my bedroom and slammed the door. The second time I got angry, some time later...I did not slam cupboard doors, but I flounced down the hallway and went into my bedroom. At one point, the third time came...because life happens and things made you angry...and I thought, I know God set me free from that old prison...and I have a choice to make what I am going to do...and I made a choice to quit going back to old behaviors...because even though God wrought a miracle in my life...a miracle of healing and deliverance...my flesh still remembered it's old ways...and a choice had to be made. So the third time a situation arose that angered me...I sat on the couch and would not allow myself to "let go". That was the day I realized the walk of the flesh versus the walk of the Spirit...and yeah, it is not easy because we have been preconditioned in different things...we have had hurts that trigger reactions...we have had hardships that makes specific attitudes arise...yet God, through His Word and through prayer began to teach me that I had a choice...to put off the old man...to be transformed by the renewal of my mind...or to stay in my old cycles of behavior. And it has been quite a trip !
I learned that forgivness was a choice, not an emotion...that the Word tells us to forgive others...and so I chose...and there were those, that when I chose to forgive...healing came and it was a miracle because of what had happened in my past...but there were others, that to this day, it is still a choice to forgiven them...and so I practice or exercise forgiveness as needed.
Anyway, the biggest thing the Lord taught me was that I had learned many things over the years...and the fruit of that testified against me, so to speak...I was bound by attitudes and hatred and rage and vengeful emotions...and there came a day when I chose to lay that down...and Ephesian tells us..."having done all to stand...to stand". We do what we know to do...what the Word tells us to do...keeping our hearts clean before God, in spite of people who would still be abusive in their actions and words...and we guard our hearts...and we stand...and the Father is every Faithful and True to His Word...and I have been absolutely astounded to see God move in the situation and many of the bad relationships I had are being healed...absolutely astouding!!!
I have been reading these posts on anger...and found it an interesting topic...for I too walked in rage and anger for years...and yes, it had to do with my past...and hurts...but a day came...when I came to the end of the road, so to speak...and the Lord brought deliverance from this prison I was in. I was a new person...and one day, I remember getting angry over something, and I went into the kitchen and slammed the cupboard doors and flounced down the hall to my bedroom and slammed the door. The second time I got angry, some time later...I did not slam cupboard doors, but I flounced down the hallway and went into my bedroom. At one point, the third time came...because life happens and things made you angry...and I thought, I know God set me free from that old prison...and I have a choice to make what I am going to do...and I made a choice to quit going back to old behaviors...because even though God wrought a miracle in my life...a miracle of healing and deliverance...my flesh still remembered it's old ways...and a choice had to be made. So the third time a situation arose that angered me...I sat on the couch and would not allow myself to "let go". That was the day I realized the walk of the flesh versus the walk of the Spirit...and yeah, it is not easy because we have been preconditioned in different things...we have had hurts that trigger reactions...we have had hardships that makes specific attitudes arise...yet God, through His Word and through prayer began to teach me that I had a choice...to put off the old man...to be transformed by the renewal of my mind...or to stay in my old cycles of behavior. And it has been quite a trip !
I learned that forgivness was a choice, not an emotion...that the Word tells us to forgive others...and so I chose...and there were those, that when I chose to forgive...healing came and it was a miracle because of what had happened in my past...but there were others, that to this day, it is still a choice to forgiven them...and so I practice or exercise forgiveness as needed.Anyway, the biggest thing the Lord taught me was that I had learned many things over the years...and the fruit of that testified against me, so to speak...I was bound by attitudes and hatred and rage and vengeful emotions...and there came a day when I chose to lay that down...and Ephesian tells us..."having done all to stand...to stand". We do what we know to do...what the Word tells us to do...keeping our hearts clean before God, in spite of people who would still be abusive in their actions and words...and we guard our hearts...and we stand...and the Father is every Faithful and True to His Word...and I have been absolutely astounded to see God move in the situation and many of the bad relationships I had are being healed...absolutely astouding!!!
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Great observations! It reminds me a little of panic attacks, where we allow emotions to snowball.
"Up to 10 percent of otherwise healthy people experience an isolated panic attack per year." -Wikipedia
"Up to 10 percent of otherwise healthy people experience an isolated panic attack per year." -Wikipedia
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wow! this is really eye opening. So,I can change!peaglej said:Hello...
I have been reading these posts on anger...and found it an interesting topic...for I too walked in rage and anger for years...and yes, it had to do with my past...and hurts...but a day came...when I came to the end of the road, so to speak...and the Lord brought deliverance from this prison I was in. I was a new person...and one day, I remember getting angry over something, and I went into the kitchen and slammed the cupboard doors and flounced down the hall to my bedroom and slammed the door. The second time I got angry, some time later...I did not slam cupboard doors, but I flounced down the hallway and went into my bedroom. At one point, the third time came...because life happens and things made you angry...and I thought, I know God set me free from that old prison...and I have a choice to make what I am going to do...and I made a choice to quit going back to old behaviors...because even though God wrought a miracle in my life...a miracle of healing and deliverance...my flesh still remembered it's old ways...and a choice had to be made. So the third time a situation arose that angered me...I sat on the couch and would not allow myself to "let go". That was the day I realized the walk of the flesh versus the walk of the Spirit...and yeah, it is not easy because we have been preconditioned in different things...we have had hurts that trigger reactions...we have had hardships that makes specific attitudes arise...yet God, through His Word and through prayer began to teach me that I had a choice...to put off the old man...to be transformed by the renewal of my mind...or to stay in my old cycles of behavior. And it has been quite a trip !
Anyway, the biggest thing the Lord taught me was that I had learned many things over the years...and the fruit of that testified against me, so to speak...I was bound by attitudes and hatred and rage and vengeful emotions...and there came a day when I chose to lay that down...and Ephesian tells us..."having done all to stand...to stand". We do what we know to do...what the Word tells us to do...keeping our hearts clean before God, in spite of people who would still be abusive in their actions and words...and we guard our hearts...and we stand...and the Father is every Faithful and True to His Word...and I have been absolutely astounded to see God move in the situation and many of the bad relationships I had are being healed...absolutely astouding!!!
woohoo!!
No,I knew that someday down the road I would have to deal with this anger (and my exhusband has defently left a toll on me. ) I have been trying to almost train my mouth to clam up when I'm getting angry at my kids. I literally, clench my teeth and and close my mouth and try to let the Holy Spirit help me. I did after school yesterday when my kingergartner tried mouthy back to me.
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I recently have someone in my life who flys off the handle and gets angry very fast,is that catchy?
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paulnoel
Grace and peace be yours in abundance!!!
Evie said:maybe one of you who feel quailfied should post a study on anger. Including myself,we all struggle with this at time to time. Give me your thoughts on it,can you help us with it?
(MATTHEW 5;21-22) You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, Do not murder, and any one who murders will be subject to judgment.But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment.
Killing is a terrible sin, but anger is also a terrible sin too because it violates Jesus command to love. Anger is a dangerous emotion that always threatens to leap out of control, leading to violence, emotional hurt, mental stress and spiritual damage.Satan love's it when we are angry with each other because he knows that we then don't have our focus on God. So every time you feel you are getting angry ask God to take the anger away and fill you with his Holy Spirit instead.
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Godsgirl481
The Dark Wolf
heron said:
Yes....you know what I learned in the short time I was in a counseling group? It was basically talking about depression...but look how they all go together:
Depression is Anger turned inward
Anger is powered by Fear
Fear is the root of most anger or rage you feel. It is a 'safe' emotion. Fear allows you to be weak and hurt....anger allows you to be 'tough' and protect yourself.
I am dealing with a huge anger problem right now. Dealing with a past full of abuse. I will 'go off' with no warning and I cannot control it. I see red, fire...and I cannot think. I completly blow up.....so I understand where you are coming from...and thank you for starting this thread.
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after school today,my youngest child started really making me mad,so instead of yelling,I very calmly said ("Collin,mommy said that if you don't listen")
like that. I was thinking where did that come from. It's so true,we can control the mouth. I often wonder if I was meant to be a shoken up can of pop,but I know that nothing is too hard for the Lord!
like that. I was thinking where did that come from. It's so true,we can control the mouth.
I often wonder if I was meant to be a shoken up can of pop,but I know that nothing is too hard for the Lord!
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This is a very shallow solution, but when we start to tense up, we can relax ourselves. I often hold my breath and grit my teeth without realizing it, and it generates more tension.
A couple other things I've noticed make people angry: cavities that you're putting off filling, tight wisdom teeth, TMJ, difficulty breathing through mold or pet hair allergies, headaches of course, medications.
What lowered my stress was a realization that cancer was often caused by the toxins we release into our system when we're stressed. All the time that I was trying to work faster, to get ahead, or prove myself, I was losing ground at the other end of my life. You either give up surpassing people and fighting for your rights now, or pay a doctor later.
I'm not saying we should turn to mush. Just maybe take a sabbath off once in a while.
A couple other things I've noticed make people angry: cavities that you're putting off filling, tight wisdom teeth, TMJ, difficulty breathing through mold or pet hair allergies, headaches of course, medications.
What lowered my stress was a realization that cancer was often caused by the toxins we release into our system when we're stressed. All the time that I was trying to work faster, to get ahead, or prove myself, I was losing ground at the other end of my life. You either give up surpassing people and fighting for your rights now, or pay a doctor later.
I'm not saying we should turn to mush. Just maybe take a sabbath off once in a while.
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