Anger and ideas for productive releases

YorkieGal · Nov 8, 2023

Brihaha said:
Yeah, I do most exercising around my homestead. I live on a less traveled river road and walk down to the bridge and back. It's a good little road for it, and many people jog and ride bicycles because it isn't too busy. I woke up in a humorous mood so that's why my reply was so brief. You definitely have the right idea. I have noticed stepping up my physical activity does relieve stress and I appreciate your reply.

No problem!

I am a very hyper person and it helps to have ideas to get energy out so I can sleep once in awhile.

If I think too much about one thing, angry, energetic, bored or just need to practice, I have a punching bag. It humbles you quickly if you don't wear gloves ha.

There's just something about sweating, and making a point to do it at least once a day for 30min or more, that's cathartic!

Brihaha · Nov 8, 2023

MehGuy said:
Do you enjoy being angry on some level? I guess I am a little confused. Because if I did a lot of these suggestions they'd just help me meditate my anger into deeper levels.

I think everyone enjoys anger to some extent.. some people are just on different spectrums of severity.

Best thing to do is practice a rational mindset and be more empathetic of other people's feelings. Doing the latter might make the sensation of anger less pleasant too.

If I enjoy being angry at all, I assure you it is on a subconscious level. This incident I had was the first angry outburst I've had in years. I simply created the thread in a moment of vulnerability to relieve my anxiety and frustration. Acknowledging my emotions is key to controlling them.

You do make a valid observation though. I think to some extent people like the anger because it does provide a release for overwhelming emotions. I simply wanted some more ideas for stress relief because I'm older and can't do some things to relieve anger as I have previously. As I mentioned, I had reduced my stress levels for years and never felt the dangerous, pure anger like I felt last week. I have begun working on the root causes and feel very positive about life again.

MehGuy · Nov 8, 2023

Brihaha said:
If I enjoy being angry at all, I assure you it is on a subconscious level. This incident I had was the first angry outburst I've had in years. I simply created the thread in a moment of vulnerability to relieve my anxiety and frustration. Acknowledging my emotions is key to controlling them.

Interesting. I have never really looked at the cause of anger in the way you're describing.

Looking back, I can see that stress has inspired some of my anger; overall though I can't relate. It makes sense though, stress and anger kind of go hand in hand. For me though, being in a heightened state of stress is one of the things I find appealing about being in a state of anger. Although I generally don't like stress by itself... it doesn't really make me angry... instead more withdrawn and depressed. Like I'm trying to tune myself out.

Brihaha said:
You do make a valid observation though. I think to some extent people like the anger because it does provide a release for overwhelming emotions. I simply wanted some more ideas for stress relief because I'm older and can't do some things to relieve anger as I have previously. As I mentioned, I had reduced my stress levels for years and never felt the dangerous, pure anger like I felt last week. I have begun working on the root causes and feel very positive about life again.

I think for many, the love of being angry exists on a more fundamental level. There are people who find anger even in others attractive. I can see how feeling a release from overwhelming emotions is appealing to some. Personally, when I get angry, I rarely feel a release; instead, I just feel even more angry lol.

Have these stress reliving activities worked in the past? Or is some of this more of a placebo? For me.. I can play a quiet video game and feel calmer... but once I'm done playing the game... or sometimes when I'm playing it.. the stress very easily comes back. Maybe it doesn't for some.. but for me.. these activities seem pointless in the long run. The rebound time might be drastically different for some.

As far as suggestions for relieving stress... I am not sure if you live in a legal state or not, but a low dosage of THC can be very calming. Just be careful, because a high dosage of THC can have the opposite effect on your mood. Age might be a factor, and I'm not aware of any studies that support this... but I've noticed people who take a lot of THC tend to become mellow and chill people over time. Like it restructures parts of their personality even when they're not high (although frequent users might just always have some THC still lingering in their system). A few have even personally attested to this. I understand some people have strong feelings against it... but used responsibly... I view it as a valuable tool for dealing with anxiety and stress.

Brihaha · Nov 8, 2023

MehGuy said:
Interesting. I have never really looked at the cause of anger in the way you're describing.

Looking back, I can see that stress has inspired some of my anger; overall though I can't relate. It makes sense though, stress and anger kind of go hand in hand. For me though, being in a heightened state of stress is one of the things I find appealing about being in a state of anger. Although I generally don't like stress by itself... it doesn't really make me angry... instead more withdrawn and depressed. Like I'm trying to tune myself out.

I think for many, the love of being angry exists on a more fundamental level. There are people who find anger even in others attractive. I can see how feeling a release from overwhelming emotions is appealing to some. Personally, when I get angry, I rarely feel a release; instead, I just feel even more angry lol.

Have these stress reliving activities worked in the past? Or is some of this more of a placebo? For me.. I can play a quiet video game and feel calmer... but once I'm done playing the game... or sometimes when I'm playing it.. the stress very easily comes back. Maybe it doesn't for some.. but for me.. these activities seem pointless in the long run. The rebound time might be drastically different for some.

As far as suggestions for relieving stress... I am not sure if you live in a legal state or not, but a low dosage of THC can be very calming. Just be careful, because a high dosage of THC can have the opposite effect on your mood. Age might be a factor, and I'm not aware of any studies that support this... but I've noticed people who take a lot of THC tend to become mellow and chill people over time. Like it restructures parts of their personality even when they're not high (although frequent users might just always have some THC still lingering in their system). A few have even personally attested to this. I understand some people have strong feelings against it... but used responsibly... I view it as a valuable tool for dealing with anxiety and stress.

I'm just not a gamer any longer. I gave it up in my early 20s. I have an addictive bent. After sitting there for six hours trying to get to the next Ghost and Goblins level, I couldn't see straight. I didn't eat much. Horrible situation lol. Like alcohol I gave it up since moderation is not an option for me.

But splitting wood gets the anger out. It was my go-to stress relief while raising the three kids. I don't burn much wood now so I don't have to split. But I will say I can relate with your last paragraph. Growing gardens relieve stress and are quite therapeutic for me. In myriad ways.

2PhiloVoid · Nov 19, 2023

Brihaha said:
Anger can sometimes be difficult to process. As I age my anger has abated and I have learned to separate the anger from other emotions. Sobriety from alcohol allowed me to finally mature and grow up somewhat. And it has helped me to avoid stress and live quite happily, rarely ever feeling pure anger.

Unfortunately, I recently lost my temper. I abhor the feeling, in the moment and afterwards. I realize there are other issues exacerbating my frustration besides the dog that triggered my outburst. My anger has diminished so much for a number of years and it has become easy for me to compartmentalize the few items that do bother me. It is evident that compartment of anger is full now.

I continue to work on eliminating or reducing the stressors in my life. My dog and I made up the very nite of the incident. I didn't physically abuse her but I know my rage terrified her. I let her (and myself) understand in certain terms that she can easily be replaced with a dog that will listen better. I have a couple of people whom I need to address again as well. I think it best to unload some of my anger and resentment before broaching the same worn-out issues that seemingly are of little concern to them.

Yet I don't have some of the releases for my frustration like I used to enjoy. Golfing is not feasible too often. Fishing is often more trouble than beneficial. I used to split wood beginning this time of year but that maul could put me out of commission for a week or more. Nor do I heat exclusively with wood. I thought this could start a cathartic pattern for folks to help others with input on some ideas for stress relief and to learn new ways to morally and productively release anxiety, before another angry outburst occurs. That and I need a release since nobody in my family has time to have an honest discussion apparently.

I sincerely appreciate any genuine responses and shares anyone can offer. (I also wonder if more people might reply if I click the anonymous tab? Does anyone ever click the anonymous box?) Here is an article from the Mayo Clinic with some tips also.

Anger management: 10 tips to tame your temper

Want to get your anger under control? Start by considering these 10 anger management tips.

www.mayoclinic.org

I hear you. Anger management isn't always easy to hear and implement.

Not infrequently, I find my anger comes about when I perceive other people sabotaging some goal I have or a state of mind I've been emotionally invested in. In those instances, and despite maybe my better judgment, I find it's easiest to just pop on some Pink Floyd and call it a day, especially when others in the family aren't all that open to an "honest" discussion.

But even so, what do you feel is egging you on in those instances where your anger boils up?

Brihaha · Nov 19, 2023

2PhiloVoid said:
I hear you. Anger management isn't always easy to hear and implement.

Not infrequently, I find my anger comes about when I perceive other people sabotaging some goal I have or a state of mind I've been emotionally investmented in. In those instances, and despite maybe my better judgment, I find it's easiest to just pop on some Pink Floyd and call it a day, especially when others in the family aren't all that open to an "honest" discussion.

But even so, what do you feel is egging you on in those instances where your anger boils up?

Now you're reading my mind. Pink Floyd is some of my favorite music to help me release anxiety.

I've figured out that every time I have had an emotional outburst it was initiated by my own procrastination in dealing with a small problem. I have this propensity to compartmentalize seemingly innocuous feelings because they don't seem important enough to prioritize dealing with them immediately. Then these minute, insignificant aggravations multiply since I haven't dealt with them and in time my compartment of grievances overflows. Since my drinking days, I always bottled my feelings to avoid dealing with them. I am blessed that I can at least identify my emotions now and separate the anger from fear and sadness. It does take me some effort process these emotions, but I can manage this. I'm not working thru a cloud of creeping malaise, alcohol And soft middle age these days . I simply have to put in the effort and quit procrastinating.

Thanks for sharing my friend. I have come to respect your honesty and opinions. I have learned from many members such as you and I am grateful. Life is a wild journey and I have come to value any and all the people and tools offered to make the journey more fulfilling. Peace

2PhiloVoid · Nov 19, 2023

Brihaha said:
Now you're reading my mind. Pink Floyd is some of my favorite music to help me release anxiety.

I've figured out that every time I have had an emotional outburst it was initiated by my own procrastination in dealing with a small problem. I have this propensity to compartmentalize seemingly innocuous feelings because they don't seem important enough to prioritize dealing with them immediately. Then these minute, insignificant aggravations multiply since I haven't dealt with them and in time my compartment of grievances overflows. Since my drinking days, I always bottled my feelings to avoid dealing with them. I am blessed that I can at least identify my emotions now and separate the anger from fear and sadness. It does take me some effort process these emotions, but I can manage this. I'm not working thru a cloud of creeping malaise, alcohol And soft middle age these days . I simply have to put in the effort and quit procrastinating.

Thanks for sharing my friend. I have come to respect your honesty and opinions. I have learned from many members such as you and I am grateful. Life is a wild journey and I have come to value any and all the people and tools offered to make the journey more fulfilling. Peace

And I know you'll manage. The important thing is to find those persons whom you can talk to who don't require you to bottle up your deepest concerns. Which isn't always so easy to do.

Brihaha · Nov 19, 2023

2PhiloVoid said:
And I know you'll manage. The important thing is to find those persons whom you can talk to who don't require you to bottle up your deepest concerns. Which isn't always so easy to do.

You got that right. Occasionally I'll hit up my favorite AA meeting when I know I'm stressed out and nobody is around. I'm comfortable sharing with them because we acknowledge our faults and are all there to support each other. Tools man tools. I continue adding to my tool box.

I was feeling discouraged about this forum a few months ago. I realized I was merely spending an inordinate amount of time on the regular boards and politics forums. I seem to have a more positive outlook if I minimize my activity in divisive areas and spend more time in the Christian areas and reading the bible. I appreciate your encouragement. Have a great day.

2PhiloVoid · Nov 19, 2023

Brihaha said:
You got that right. Occasionally I'll hit up my favorite AA meeting when I know I'm stressed out and nobody is around. I'm comfortable sharing with them because we acknowledge our faults and are all there to support each other. Tools man tools. I continue adding to my tool box.

I was feeling discouraged about this forum a few months ago. I realized I was merely spending an inordinate amount of time on the regular boards and politics forums. I seem to have a more positive outlook if I minimize my activity in divisive areas and spend more time in the Christian areas and reading the bible. I appreciate your encouragement. Have a great day.

You have a great one, too!

MehGuy · Nov 21, 2023

I found an interesting article about the enjoyment of anger. While I think anger can be enjoyed via other psychological processes, I do believe this article explains a large chunk of the anger I enjoy. Given persecution was an important part of my spirituality... I developed a nasty addiction to such thought processes. Ironically this addiction was one of the reasons I eventually became an atheist. When I was a theist, I was quite attracted to the atheist scene, especially the harsher ones. Spending so much time in atheist discussions did contribute to the slow decay of my faith.

Why You Secretly Enjoy Getting Angry

There’s a perverse pleasure in getting mad. Despite the fact that anger rarely solves anything, it can still afford considerable gratification.

www.psychologytoday.com

Brihaha · Nov 22, 2023

MehGuy said:
I found an interesting article about the enjoyment of anger. While I think anger can be enjoyed via other psychological processes, I do believe this article explains a large chunk of the anger I enjoy. Given persecution was an important part of my spirituality... I developed a nasty addiction to such thought processes. Ironically this addiction was one of the reasons I eventually became an atheist. When I was a theist, I was quite attracted to the atheist scene, especially the harsher ones. Spending so much time in atheist discussions did contribute to the slow decay of my faith.

Why You Secretly Enjoy Getting Angry

There’s a perverse pleasure in getting mad. Despite the fact that anger rarely solves anything, it can still afford considerable gratification.

www.psychologytoday.com

That is an interesting read. For some anger is the most utilized emotion used as a coping strategy. I think it was my main coping strategy in my drinking days.

Last nite I was packing and preparing for a road trip for Thanksgiving. After four hours I began to get irritated at how long it was taking. There wasn't any guilt or shame tied in, just exhaustion. After a couple of curse words I finally finished lol. I definitely feel like my age is affecting my ability to be patient nowadays. My kids have all grown up and they used to help me retain patience and not lose my temper. I need God in my life for this and myriad other reasons. And I am lucky He blessed me. Peace

MehGuy · Nov 24, 2023

Brihaha said:
That is an interesting read. For some anger is the most utilized emotion used as a coping strategy. I think it was my main coping strategy in my drinking days.

Last nite I was packing and preparing for a road trip for Thanksgiving. After four hours I began to get irritated at how long it was taking. There wasn't any guilt or shame tied in, just exhaustion. After a couple of curse words I finally finished lol. I definitely feel like my age is affecting my ability to be patient nowadays. My kids have all grown up and they used to help me retain patience and not lose my temper. I need God in my life for this and myriad other reasons. And I am lucky He blessed me. Peace

You mention drinking a lot. Were you mainly a mean drunk? While I suffer from anger problems, I've never really felt like alcohol exasperated mine. Maybe a few times... but overall if I'm getting drunk, I just want to chill out.

Brihaha · Nov 25, 2023

MehGuy said:
You mention drinking a lot. Were you mainly a mean drunk? While I suffer from anger problems, I've never really felt like alcohol exasperated mine. Maybe a few times... but overall if I'm getting drunk, I just want to chill out.

Na, I wasn't a mean or violent drunk. Just very annoying and obnoxious lol. I wasn't afraid to scrap but I didn't look for trouble. I'm visiting family presently and alcohol is definitely on their menu. The property couldn't handle another wild drinker. I'm lucky to be the sober one. I will drive them to the liquor store then take their money later at the poker table .

MehGuy · Nov 26, 2023

Brihaha said:
Na, I wasn't a mean or violent drunk. Just very annoying and obnoxious lol. I wasn't afraid to scrap but I didn't look for trouble. I'm visiting family presently and alcohol is definitely on their menu. The property couldn't handle another wild drinker. I'm lucky to be the sober one. I will drive them to the liquor store then take their money later at the poker table .

Sounds like the opposite of my family. It was a dry Thanksgiving when I visited them.

I was just thinking the other day... why I'm not really prone to being an angry drunk. It's just not enjoyable being angry when I'm drunk... anger mixed with confusion isn't really the best combination. It makes sense when you think... anger puts you in somewhat of a ready to fight mode... but when you're disorientated it's not very evolutionary advantageous to enjoy anger in such a disadvantageous state. So, I try to avoid it the best I can. Just more evidence for me that the level one enjoys anger has a great influence on how they express it themselves.

Brihaha · Nov 27, 2023

MehGuy said:
Sounds like the opposite of my family. It was a dry Thanksgiving when I visited them.

I was just thinking the other day... why I'm not really prone to being an angry drunk. It's just not enjoyable being angry when I'm drunk... anger mixed with confusion isn't really the best combination. It makes sense when you think... anger puts you in somewhat of a ready to fight mode... but when you're disorientated it's not very evolutionary advantageous to enjoy anger in such a disadvantageous state. So, I try to avoid it the best I can. Just more evidence for me that the level one enjoys anger has a great influence on how they express it themselves.

For me, drinking further exacerbated my confused emotions. I couldn't acknowledge separate feelings like fear, guilt or shame as they all were filtered into the large "anger" bin of emotions. Anger was the only tangible emotion I could grasp thru my deluded vision.

I am lucky now in that I'm able to identify and separate many feelings since becoming sober from alcohol. I still need to deal with these emotions and work thru their consequences, which isn't simple. But it's an easier task now that my vision has returned to reality. And watching other drinkers fumble around in their confused, altered state actually motivates me to keep utilizing my tools to prevent me taking that first drink. There but for the grace of God go I.

I don't generally hang out with the drinkers or the party crowd these days. Yet when visiting family on their turf, I am reminded of my struggle to break free from the captivity in which I was mired in my own alcoholism. It seems much easier to see the effects of alcohol on others than its effects on myself while I was a practicing alcoholic. But God helps me understand that I can't control other people. And I still enjoy and love visiting with family despite their character defects. Especially since they accept my defects and still invite me to gatherings.

I learned this visit how my younger brother has been sober for nearly a year now. I noticed he wasn't getting drunk during our poker games and it was a nice surprise. I still took some money from him yet it seemed more satisfying to know he was sober when he lost lol.

anetazo · Dec 4, 2023

Hello sister.
No one is judging you or criticizing you.

Most my life I was very angry person. And lust I had serious issues.
What attributes to it was bullying and verbal abuse. I was dumped on my entire life. I was walking box of dynamite.

Of course I was no angel. Before I converted to christianity in 2000. I broke laws, lied, hurt people emotionally. I caused pain in some people lifes.

In year 2000. My dad mentioned shepherds chapel. I studied under pastor Arnold murray and had a renewal of the mind. Romans chapter 12 to document. It was long process.

Jeremiah chapter 18 to document, God can only work with soft clay. God pours water on it and MARRS it. Until Jesus is satisfied with the clay. Christian people are vessels for service to serve God. God can't work with hard clay. They oppose the truth and wont submit to God's will.

James chapter 1:20. Because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Christian people have right to righteousness indignation. Used in positive manner. Negative is darkness. We don't want to go into the darkness.

Colossians chapter 3:8. But now you must also rid yourself of all such things as these; anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language from your lips.

Back in 2018 , for few years. I was in therapy for anger issues. I moved away from narcissist in 9, 2018. I had bitterness and anger. I was verbally and psychologically abused. I was in therapy couple years.

I was consumed by anger. This leads to path of darkness. Get the picture. We as Christian people must be led by the spirit, not the flesh.

PRASSONTES in Greek means = do.
Were talking about reprobates. They dont have holy spirit. They are led by the flesh, documentation, galatians chapter 5 .

Those who live evil lifes will face judgement. Psalm chapter 37 to document.

Proverbs chapter 29:8 to 11 . This is demonic. Rage, havoc, violence, that follow evil and folly. They can set city aflame. Those who follow satan are headed for eternal destruction.

In the end. The reprobates destroy themselves.
Discipline is the key !!.

Those walking in the flesh are in Bondage to satan.
Integrity versus wickedness.

We all sin. Repent and try better next time.
Habitual sinners don't care and wont repent.

We see the distinction.
Children of light.
Children of darkness.

Brihaha · Dec 4, 2023

anetazo said:
Hello sister.
No one is judging you or criticizing you.

Most my life I was very angry person. And lust I had serious issues.
What attributes to it was bullying and verbal abuse. I was dumped on my entire life. I was walking box of dynamite.

Of course I was no angel. Before I converted to christianity in 2000. I broke laws, lied, hurt people emotionally. I caused pain in some people lifes.

In year 2000. My dad mentioned shepherds chapel. I studied under pastor Arnold murray and had a renewal of the mind. Romans chapter 12 to document. It was long process.

Jeremiah chapter 18 to document, God can only work with soft clay. God pours water on it and MARRS it. Until Jesus is satisfied with the clay. Christian people are vessels for service to serve God. God can't work with hard clay. They oppose the truth and wont submit to God's will.

James chapter 1:20. Because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

Christian people have right to righteousness indignation. Used in positive manner. Negative is darkness. We don't want to go into the darkness.

Colossians chapter 3:8. But now you must also rid yourself of all such things as these; anger, rage, malice, slander, filthy language from your lips.

Back in 2018 , for few years. I was in therapy for anger issues. I moved away from narcissist in 9, 2018. I had bitterness and anger. I was verbally and psychologically abused. I was in therapy couple years.

I was consumed by anger. This leads to path of darkness. Get the picture. We as Christian people must be led by the spirit, not the flesh.

PRASSONTES in Greek means = do.
Were talking about reprobates. They dont have holy spirit. They are led by the flesh, documentation, galatians chapter 5 .

Those who live evil lifes will face judgement. Psalm chapter 37 to document.

Proverbs chapter 29:8 to 11 . This is demonic. Rage, havoc, violence, that follow evil and folly. They can set city aflame. Those who follow satan are headed for eternal destruction.

In the end. The reprobates destroy themselves.
Discipline is the key !!.

Those walking in the flesh are in Bondage to satan.
Integrity versus wickedness.

We all sin. Repent and try better next time.
Habitual sinners don't care and wont repent.

We see the distinction.
Children of light.
Children of darkness.

I enjoyed reading your post. Though I am a man lol. That is the only thing I can disagree with you about in this thoughtful reply. I'm wearing myself out trying to be better. I learned some discipline when getting sober from alcohol but without God's help I fail. I'm grateful to be able to admit that. Thank you for taking time to share.

Anger and ideas for productive releases

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