Andrew (first draft)

[lonnienord]

this needs help!! please tell me how i can improve this!!

St. Andrew’s day is November 30 so I’m writing this story for my son Andrew.
(this is to be read to pre-school and first graders and by second graders)

Andrew was Peter’s Brother
Andrew loved GOD
He was a follower of John the Baptist
John introduced him to JESUS
John encouraged Andrew to follow JESUS!
Andrew realized that JESUS was holy.
The first thing Andrew did was find his brother Peter
He introduced Peter to JESUS

JESUS was teaching over 5,000 people one day
It was time to eat
All the people were hungry
JESUS asked the disciples to feed them
The disciples didn’t have enough food or money

Andrew found a boy with a sack lunch
Andrew brought the boy to JESUS
The boy willingly shared his small lunch with JESUS
JESUS did a miracle
And with that small lunch HE fed all 5,000 people

One day some people from a distant land asked Philip if they could meet JESUS
Philip knew that Andrew liked to bring people to JESUS.
Philip introduced the people to Andrew
Andrew immediately introduced them to JESUS.

JESUS hopes you will be like his disciple Andrew
And bring people to HIM

 

[JPPT1974]

Sounds excellent my friend
Keep up the good work
Andrew did his best indeed
To bring people to Jesus!