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And how do I tell him?
- Thread starter moreruthlessjezebel
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2Co 5:17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.
2Co 5:18 Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation,
2Co 5:19 namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
2Co 5:20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
Rom 8:1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Lay the foundation of honesty, integrity, repentance, forgiveness, grace and mercy and your relationship will be better than you can imagine.
2Co 5:18 Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation,
2Co 5:19 namely, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and He has committed to us the word of reconciliation.
2Co 5:20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.
Rom 8:1 Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
Lay the foundation of honesty, integrity, repentance, forgiveness, grace and mercy and your relationship will be better than you can imagine.
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You're selfish for wanting to tell him. Telling him will make him feel worse and you feel better, and that's no way for a christian to act.
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Thank you Mont! Very helpful verses!
And Nihilist, forgiveness is selfish. I'd rather have honesty than the lack of truth and we're usually of the same mind on things. Sorry if you think that way, I suppose.
And Nihilist, forgiveness is selfish. I'd rather have honesty than the lack of truth and we're usually of the same mind on things. Sorry if you think that way, I suppose.
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xDenax
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I can't see both sides. On one hand honesty is good within a relationship. On the other hand telling him may just hurt him. I'm not sure. This is a tough question! I think most likely he will see that you are a different person now same as he is a different person. You can use this time of courtship to show you are trustworthy and committed to him.
As for how to tell him. I'm sorry but I have no idea. I think you are going to know better then anyone here.
As for how to tell him. I'm sorry but I have no idea. I think you are going to know better then anyone here.
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Bootstrap
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moreruthlessjezebel - I think you've pretty much said what you need to say.
This was part of your old self, and your old relationship, and you know that you hurt each other a lot and did a lot of wrong in that relationship. I'd start by saying this, then mention that there's one thing that he doesn't know about, and it's important to you to be honest with him about this, and to get to a point of forgiveness.
Then I'd tell him. And tell him how much you regret it, and how you don't want to be like that ever again.
By the way, I wonder about your name. I don't think you're a ruthless Jezebel, you seem to have a lot of concern for him in this relationship. Sometimes putting off the old self also involves not identifying with it. But I may be reading too much into this.
Blessings to you!
This was part of your old self, and your old relationship, and you know that you hurt each other a lot and did a lot of wrong in that relationship. I'd start by saying this, then mention that there's one thing that he doesn't know about, and it's important to you to be honest with him about this, and to get to a point of forgiveness.
Then I'd tell him. And tell him how much you regret it, and how you don't want to be like that ever again.
By the way, I wonder about your name. I don't think you're a ruthless Jezebel, you seem to have a lot of concern for him in this relationship. Sometimes putting off the old self also involves not identifying with it. But I may be reading too much into this.
Blessings to you!
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- Aug 1, 2006
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speaking from very personal experience in this area..honesty is the best way to go. It is not selfish at all, it is from a genuine desire to honor God and the relationship.
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That's what I was thinking, Bootstrap. Also, it's "More Ruth, Less Jezebel" - "Jez" had been my "nickname" for a long time while I mocked Ruth, I'm becoming much more of a Ruth now. 
And Mont, giving forgiveness feels great - it's a weight you don't have to bare anymore, feels almost too good not to be selfish.
And Mont, giving forgiveness feels great - it's a weight you don't have to bare anymore, feels almost too good not to be selfish.
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- Aug 1, 2006
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I am digging the name! Thanks for sharing this with us. I will be praying for you and your boyfriend.
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gzt
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You probably should, because if he somehow finds out from somebody else, that would be far worse. You will also feel like you are hiding this if you don't. The Nihilist is somewhat correct that you are telling him for your own benefit. But it's also the right thing to do.
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