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An introduction

GreenWolf

New Member
Apr 3, 2022
1
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South Africa
✟23,072.00
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South Africa
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Other Religion
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In Relationship
I'm not really good at introductions, so don't mind the awkwardness. Hi, I'm GreenWolf. A little backstory as to why I'm posting here today.

I come from a religious family, and as a kid I went to church every Sunday. Later in my life, as soon as I became an adult, I stopped going, ultimately going pretty much full atheist. Later in life, I went from that to Agnostic, considering the possibility. Now I'm at a point in my life where I just want to believe in something, but I find it quite difficult to do so. I'm used to questioning everything and seeking proof and signs.

Truthfully, the reason for this change is my Tourette's. I've dealt with it since primary school, but a somewhat recent tic has me scared and depressive. It's focused in my neck, causing jerks, and I'm constantly afraid of breaking my own neck that way. I am on medication, but it only helps so much, and I've come to the decision to change aspects of my life. I've even started praying again, but I feel like I'm being false by doing so, since I struggle to fully believe. A lot of things in my life currently would be considered against the religion, which also makes believing more difficult. I am gay, and I don't plan on changing that part of who I am, nor am I looking to be judged for that.

I've figured posting this here might be helpful. I feel more comfortable talking about this with strangers online than my own family. I guess I'm just looking for some advice.