An earnest request for prayer

[Paleoconservatarian]

I am going through a very rough stage in my life. As you all know, I am a student at a tough engineering school. This semester, I have fallen behind in my work. This is because I have unwisely managed my time, and foolishly wasted much of it in pursuits that have not helped me in my duties. Worry is one of my toughest problems, and I have been doing a lot of worrying lately, even to the point where I feel I am suffocating and can make no progress. It has even affected my health. Although the realization of these worries should have been a warning sign to me, and driven me to prayer, I have instead sought relief by wicked, idolatrous means. I have also allowed my pride to keep me from seeking help.

I am in a wretched condition right now. It seems that daily now I commit myself fervently to devotion and service to the Lord, but without fail, I soon find myself backsliding, and confessing the same sins again and again, only to repeat this process. And now even in this I am lacking zeal. I allow myself in my meditations to become distracted by fears and worries, to the point where I can hardly think straight, and am wearing myself out even when doing nothing. I can find no rest and even feel that I have expended all the grace that I may have. The more I struggle, the worse things get.

I could really use your prayers right now. This is scaring me.

Also, until I can get myself into a better position, I will not be on CF except to check this thread and any PMs I happen to receive.

 

[seekingpurity047]

I am going through a very rough stage in my life. As you all know, I am a student at a tough engineering school. This semester, I have fallen behind in my work. This is because I have unwisely managed my time, and foolishly wasted much of it in pursuits that have not helped me in my duties. Worry is one of my toughest problems, and I have been doing a lot of worrying lately, even to the point where I feel I am suffocating and can make no progress. It has even affected my health. Although the realization of these worries should have been a warning sign to me, and driven me to prayer, I have instead sought relief by wicked, idolatrous means. I have also allowed my pride to keep me from seeking help.

I am in a wretched condition right now. It seems that daily now I commit myself fervently to devotion and service to the Lord, but without fail, I soon find myself backsliding, and confessing the same sins again and again, only to repeat this process. And now even in this I am lacking zeal. I allow myself in my meditations to become distracted by fears and worries, to the point where I can hardly think straight, and am wearing myself out even when doing nothing. I can find no rest and even feel that I have expended all the grace that I may have. The more I struggle, the worse things get.

I could really use your prayers right now. This is scaring me.

Also, until I can get myself into a better position, I will not be on CF except to check this thread and any PMs I happen to receive.

My friend, I understand your concern. I am with you in this, as I go through the exact same issues, except that I'm not at a tough engineering school, but I am in university, and it certainly does become tough once you realize at what stage of the year you are in. I have returned to old idolatrous ways as well, without seeking help, etc, and I know exactly how you feel. I worry as well, seeing as I do have four mid terms in 24 hours this week and a paper to write the next day, I am super worried.

So, in this time of turmoil, I will certainly and gladly pray for you, and I will ask you all to pray for me as well. I never thought of such a wonderful thing to ask, but then again, I tend to try to figure things out on my own, which is, indeed, a pride issues.

Paleoconservatarian, you are in my prayers, and hopefully, I will be in yours.

Thank you brother,

Randy

 

[CCWoody]

FWIW, I am a former Engineering student from a tough College who did graduate. I did this by working, getting married, having kids and my studies all at the same time.

I compressed a 4 year degree into 6 1/2 years.

I KNOW how you feel. I remember my last semester telling my advisor that good, bad, or otherwise he would never see me again. If you want to PM me, I am available.

 

[Paleoconservatarian]

Randy, I will certainly be praying for you. It is good to know that I am not alone. Thank you.

Woody, thank you as well. Wow. Marriage, work, and college. You are greater than I.

It gives me hope, though. Thank you all.

 

[CCWoody]

Woody, thank you as well. Wow. Marriage, work, and college. You are greater than I.

No, just young, dumb, in love and too bull headed to quit.

BTW, my final solution to getting my work done and staying focused was to drop my wife at work, kid at the day care, and I stayed huddled in the Engineering key from 8 until I was forced to leave at the end of the day. I took breaks for coffee and to get rid of coffee. And, I lightened my load to 12 hours and took both sessions of summer.

I didn't have a life for a few years, but it did get her done in the end.

 

[strengthinweakness]

Paleo and Randy, I will pray for both of you. God enables His saints to persevere, but obviously, He also allows them to fall into sin that reaps tangible consequences. This seems to be where you are. I have been there myself in the past, and I am probably there right now in ways that I don't even realize. It's one of the insidious things about the human heart-- as a man at my church recently said, we should never live under the illusion that we are even aware of every sin that we are committing in our lives. However, we can pray for the Spirit to search our hearts, and to enable us to search them fearlessly, for sins. When we become aware of those sins, we simply must take action, or some form of consequences will result-- and while it may be hard to realize and remember, the spiritual damage that sin does is actually worse and more important than even the tangible damage that it causes here in the physical world. My brothers in Christ, I am saying this every bit as much to myself as to you. Sin is serious business, and we cannot play around with it. John Owen very wisely writes in The Mortification of Sin, "Be killing sin, or sin will be killing you."

Don't despair though-- you have fallen, but the good news is, God never allows believers to finally, totally fall away from Him and His grace. You can grieve the Spirit, and you can even quench the Spirit, to a point, but as believers, you cannot completely "expend" His grace. The important thing is to stop grieving the Spirit by persisting in sin, especially as a way of "dealing" with other sin. You are only prolonging your own misery, and worse, you are harming your relationship with God. He won't allow you to completely fall away, but don't use that as a rationalization to continue on in sin! What's done is done. Repent of it, and ask for forgiveness. As for the worry, I can understand that, humanly speaking. You may have messed things up, grade-wise, at this particular time, and you may have not. However, our human situation in this world is not the ultimate thing that we are to look to in order to free us from worry and to give us hope. The cure for worry, and the basis for hope, in this world, is that even when we truly do "mess things up," God is still in control. Your sins have not thrown off His plans. You are responsible for your sins, but they have not thrown God off, they have not caught Him by surprise, and they have not exhausted His grace for you. You may or may not salvage your grades this time around, but you have recognized your sin and your need and responsibility to repent and do what is right. Look to God for your peace and rest-- don't look to your circumstances in this world-- and show your repentance with action. Ask God to give you calmness and peace, no matter how things turn out, because He is our only sure source of peace in this world. Then, simply do what is right. God will enable you to do so. You don't have to fight this battle in your own strength, and actually, you can't fight it in your own strength. That is not a cause for worry though-- it is a cause for relief. God will enable you to do what you need to do. Don't dwell on the past. Repent of the sins you have committed, and move forward in God's grace. I pray for peace in Him for both of you.

 

[seekingpurity047]

Paleo and Randy, I will pray for both of you. God enables His saints to persevere, but obviously, He also allows them to fall into sin that reaps tangible consequences. This seems to be where you are. I have been there myself in the past, and I am probably there right now in ways that I don't even realize. It's one of the insidious things about the human heart-- as a man at my church recently said, we should never live under the illusion that we are even aware of every sin that we are committing in our lives. However, we can pray for the Spirit to search our hearts, and to enable us to search them fearlessly, for sins. When we become aware of those sins, we simply must take action, or some form of consequences will result-- and while it may be hard to realize and remember, the spiritual damage that sin does is actually worse and more important than even the tangible damage that it causes here in the physical world. My brothers in Christ, I am saying this every bit as much to myself as to you. Sin is serious business, and we cannot play around with it. John Owen very wisely writes in The Mortification of Sin, "Be killing sin, or sin will be killing you."

Don't despair though-- you have fallen, but the good news is, God never allows believers to finally, totally fall away from Him and His grace. You can grieve the Spirit, and you can even quench the Spirit, to a point, but as believers, you cannot completely "expend" His grace. The important thing is to stop grieving the Spirit by persisting in sin, especially as a way of "dealing" with other sin. You are only prolonging your own misery, and worse, you are harming your relationship with God. He won't allow you to completely fall away, but don't use that as a rationalization to continue on in sin! What's done is done. Repent of it, and ask for forgiveness. As for the worry, I can understand that, humanly speaking. You may have messed things up, grade-wise, at this particular time, and you may have not. However, our human situation in this world is not the ultimate thing that we are to look to in order to free us from worry and to give us hope. The cure for worry, and the basis for hope, in this world, is that even when we truly do "mess things up," God is still in control. Your sins have not thrown off His plans. You are responsible for your sins, but they have not thrown God off, they have not caught Him by surprise, and they have not exhausted His grace for you. You may or may not salvage your grades this time around, but you have recognized your sin and your need and responsibility to repent and do what is right. Look to God for your peace and rest-- don't look to your circumstances in this world-- and show your repentance with action. Ask God to give you calmness and peace, no matter how things turn out, because He is our only sure source of peace in this world. Then, simply do what is right. God will enable you to do so. You don't have to fight this battle in your own strength, and actually, you can't fight it in your own strength. That is not a cause for worry though-- it is a cause for relief. God will enable you to do what you need to do. Don't dwell on the past. Repent of the sins you have committed, and move forward in God's grace. I pray for peace in Him for both of you.

Thank you my friend, I really appreciate your loving words here today.

Glory to God in that He has enabled us to recognize the sins in our lives and has granted us the gift of repentance, to the glory of His Name, for He is forever blessed, Amen.

Thank you all for your prayers! Seeing as I am beginning my 24 x 4 midterms chaos today at four, I request that you pray for me earnestly through this time of difficulty and, perhaps, lack of persistance.

I hope and pray as well for you all! You will always be in my prayers, and I am so grateful that I may come somewhere where people understand me, and where people are willing to lay down a minute of their time to pray and reflect upon situations in my life, and also in Paleo's.

Paleo, thank you for your prayers as well. I will continue to pray for you as the years go on. Engineering is not an easy subject to study, especially when you compare it to my major: Political Science. But, we at least we know that God will do His will in everything that we do, and that we can always look to His Word and trust in His promises that He has given us through the Bible. Romans 8:28 says "And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose." And in this I rejoice! I rejoice that God has granted us repentance and that we may recognize His love and grace in times of difficulty and grief.

Thank you all once again, and I pray that all goes well for you too.

To the glory of God who is forever blessed,

Randy

 

[Erinwilcox]

Thank you all for your prayers! Seeing as I am beginning my 24 x 4 midterms chaos today at four, I request that you pray for me earnestly through this time of difficulty and, perhaps, lack of persistance.

I hope and pray as well for you all! You will always be in my prayers, and I am so grateful that I may come somewhere where people understand me, and where people are willing to lay down a minute of their time to pray and reflect upon situations in my life, and also in Paleo's.

Randy, I'll be praying for you during your mid-terms. . .I had the majority of mine last Friday and yesterday and will have another on Friday and another on Tuesday. I definitely know the stress of mid-terms and will continue to keep you in prayer. And yes, it is great to have so many brothers and sisters praying for our various needs at the different stages of our lives.

 

[Paleoconservatarian]

Update: My mother has convinced me to see a counselor, and I have agreed to do so. I talked to a dean and advisor, and have a plan sorted out for the rest of the semester. I still have my problems, but I am feeling much better. I thank you all for your advice and prayers, and I ask that you continue to pray for me. Church today was good, the pastor spoke about my very situation, it seemed.

The Lord is bigger than my problems, and this is still His world. His plan is good, and I must fix my eyes on what is unseen, not the things that are seen.