An administrative error with pastoral impact; what's the appropriate response?

[Paidiske]

So this happened in real life, and now people in the parish are in hot disagreement about how to make amends.

Someone whose mother regularly worshipped with us (the mother has been dead several years), but who does not often worship with us, sent us a cheque and a note asking us to use the money for flowers on the anniversary of her mother's death (this is not an unusual thing to do). The person who sent the money came to church on that Sunday.

There was no mention of her mother's death, not in the year's mind (our usual listing of people's anniversaries of death), or in the pew sheet or anything. This was an administrative error; an oversight rather than a malicious thing. But naturally there's a concern that this lady, who isn't a member, may have been hurt at the omission.

What's the appropriate way to respond now? What would you expect if it had been you? I'll note that we have apologised (with a hand-written card in the mail) but some people feel that this is not adequate...

 

[mnorian]

So this happened in real life, and now people in the parish are in hot disagreement about how to make amends.

Someone whose mother regularly worshipped with us (the mother has been dead several years), but who does not often worship with us, sent us a cheque and a note asking us to use the money for flowers on the anniversary of her mother's death (this is not an unusual thing to do). The person who sent the money came to church on that Sunday.

There was no mention of her mother's death, not in the year's mind (our usual listing of people's anniversaries of death), or in the pew sheet or anything. This was an administrative error; an oversight rather than a malicious thing. But naturally there's a concern that this lady, who isn't a member, may have been hurt at the omission.

What's the appropriate way to respond now? What would you expect if it had been you? I'll note that we have apologised (with a hand-written card in the mail) but some people feel that this is not adequate...

I don't know if this would be appropriate for a church setting; but I would send her a dozen Roses with an apology from who ever was responsible for the oversight; or the church.

 

[συνείδησις]

Why not do something in her honor and let the person know? Maybe an event that you already do that he/she could attend.

 

[brinny]

So this happened in real life, and now people in the parish are in hot disagreement about how to make amends.

Someone whose mother regularly worshipped with us (the mother has been dead several years), but who does not often worship with us, sent us a cheque and a note asking us to use the money for flowers on the anniversary of her mother's death (this is not an unusual thing to do). The person who sent the money came to church on that Sunday.

There was no mention of her mother's death, not in the year's mind (our usual listing of people's anniversaries of death), or in the pew sheet or anything. This was an administrative error; an oversight rather than a malicious thing. But naturally there's a concern that this lady, who isn't a member, may have been hurt at the omission.

What's the appropriate way to respond now? What would you expect if it had been you? I'll note that we have apologised (with a hand-written card in the mail) but some people feel that this is not adequate...

"May" have been hurt?

Someone needs to initiate going to see her. Honestly explain what happened, and minister to her and pray for and with her.

This is an open door to an opportunity to minister to this woman, who is most likely grieving over her mother's death, and to initiate a ministering relationship with her.

Did y'all get the flowers?

 

[Paidiske]

Did y'all get the flowers?

We didn't, because by the time the cheque arrived, flowers had already been done because there was a funeral for someone else. So we had all the flowers from the funeral a day or so before. So that was awkward too.

 

[brinny]

We didn't, because by the time the cheque arrived, flowers had already been done because there was a funeral for someone else. So we had all the flowers from the funeral a day or so before. So that was awkward too.

God's pure grace needs to be covering all of this. She needs a visit from someone, who honestly just pours it out and asks for her forgiveness. Things happen, even very painful oversights or undersights, and things get bungled. This door has GOT to stay open, and it will be by God's grace and someone initiating contact with her. The quicker the better. Just step out in the grace of God, praying, trusting Him, and He will do the rest. God will grant the courage and the wisdom as you trust in Him. His aim is always for reconciliation, forgiveness and bless-ed healing, for both parties, especially when they trust Him, the God of ALL Comfort, and Who builds beauty from what might seem like ashes.

 

[Norbert L]

So this happened in real life, and now people in the parish are in hot disagreement about how to make amends.

Someone whose mother regularly worshipped with us (the mother has been dead several years), but who does not often worship with us, sent us a cheque and a note asking us to use the money for flowers on the anniversary of her mother's death (this is not an unusual thing to do). The person who sent the money came to church on that Sunday.

There was no mention of her mother's death, not in the year's mind (our usual listing of people's anniversaries of death), or in the pew sheet or anything. This was an administrative error; an oversight rather than a malicious thing. But naturally there's a concern that this lady, who isn't a member, may have been hurt at the omission.

What's the appropriate way to respond now? What would you expect if it had been you? I'll note that we have apologised (with a hand-written card in the mail) but some people feel that this is not adequate...

Just an idea.

There's returning the money. Luke 19:8 has a man returning 4X the amount he was given.

 

[redleghunter]

So this happened in real life, and now people in the parish are in hot disagreement about how to make amends.

Someone whose mother regularly worshipped with us (the mother has been dead several years), but who does not often worship with us, sent us a cheque and a note asking us to use the money for flowers on the anniversary of her mother's death (this is not an unusual thing to do). The person who sent the money came to church on that Sunday.

There was no mention of her mother's death, not in the year's mind (our usual listing of people's anniversaries of death), or in the pew sheet or anything. This was an administrative error; an oversight rather than a malicious thing. But naturally there's a concern that this lady, who isn't a member, may have been hurt at the omission.

What's the appropriate way to respond now? What would you expect if it had been you? I'll note that we have apologised (with a hand-written card in the mail) but some people feel that this is not adequate...

Put the mentions in next week or a week the family wants it to appear. Then do it all for free next anniversary. I think that is fair restitution.

 

[JCFantasy23]

I think bringing it up at the next church service as an oversight, and personally apologizing in person is fair. The card was also a nice touch.