Am Seeking Suggestions

[drstevej]

I am a long time member of CF but only recently have read these threads. My motivation now is the recent diagnosis of a family member as bipolar II. In seeking to help her through her ever changing mood variations I have learned a good bit by trial and error. We have also had good discussions as to how to best help her in the varying stages.

In this thread I'd welcome you tips and suggestions as to what to do and not to do to assist her as she copes with this.

Thanks
Steve

 

[madison1101]

I am a long time member of CF but only recently have read these threads. My motivation now is the recent diagnosis of a family member as bipolar II. In seeking to help her through her ever changing mood variations I have learned a good bit by trial and error. We have also had good discussions as to how to best help her in the varying stages.

In this thread I'd welcome you tips and suggestions as to what to do and not to do to assist her as she copes with this.

Thanks
Steve

The best suggestion I can make is to not engage in verbal conflict, no matter how trivial, if she is experiencing a contentious period in the manic phase. I make that mistake with my mother, and never succeed in getting her to see things my way, or to concede that I might be right about something. And, being one myself, I press the issue till there is a blow up. The older she gets the worse I have gotten, and I need to work on it big time.

 

[Jeshu]

Thank you for asking.


Love this family member and teach this family member to love - through example is best as always but without singling this person out - please don't that!

Be well prepared to meet the demons plaguing this person - they will certainly try and scare you off.

See Bi-polar has a good and a bad pole - as do all - but we are just more extreme. To love good is easy - almost everyone does that - to love someone when they are not good or have fallen and are dirty and smelly is the challenge.

Most people who try to help us, come and support and encourage us to do it their way, and then when this doesn't work for us, they blame us and walk away leaving us with the mess such creates. For example as a mentally ill person my biggest hurdle has always been unloving responses to me being me wrong - especially from The Dragon, Satan using my guilty conscious, the world and myself trying to please the first two. True love set me free from all that - not my constant efforts to conform, nor my rebellion when I didn't want to this any longer, but accepting love and grace and forgiveness and letting loving truth set me free in all my moods.

Jesus used my wife Yvonne to teach me how to love and forgive myself my falls and specks - even myself when I'm all wrong - and the cold chill of conflict between us has melted away like snow melts from the sun and love has healed most of the negative afflictions being mentally ill has brought my way.

To love someone you give them the right to be freely themselves - right, wrong, whatever - and so to love what is wrong to death in the process - for The Good Seed will certainly grow a good crop.


It's Christ's way of dong things and applies perfectly well in your attempt to help this person.


Be of good courage and that Christ bless you richly for caring.

 

[Darling Deedee]

As someone living with Bipolar, I hate it when people talk about me and my mood-swings behind my back. I know there's a certain amount of it that can't be helped but it erks me to no end that people have plans for my various moods. It feels like they're ganging up on me. I like it, when I'm level, if we have a general discussions about how I like people to react to me and what I think is helpful. I know that being manic or super depressed is hard on those around me but its helpful for me to think that people have listened to how I feel.

 

[drstevej]

As someone living with Bipolar, I hate it when people talk about me and my mood-swings behind my back. I know there's a certain amount of it that can't be helped but it erks me to no end that people have plans for my various moods. It feels like they're ganging up on me. I like it, when I'm level, if we have a general discussions about how I like people to react to me and what I think is helpful. I know that being manic or super depressed is hard on those around me but its helpful for me to think that people have listened to how I feel.

That is very helpful and matches what my family member has told me, particularly the part I highlighted. Her suggestions on what helps her have been very helpful and improved how we relate.

Thank you.

 

[helpneedednow]

i have found that if people just talk to you in a normal way it helps a great deal, dont be afraid that im going off the deep end every time i get a little down. i cannot see my children because of what happened during a manic episode. i miss them greatly and sometimes i will find myself crying and just cant stop. is this a manic episode? no its just me expressing the sadness that i feel being without them. do i need more meds? no, im just sad at the moment and need a few minutes to get overit, not everything is due to bipolar, im still a normal person, just with a problem that needs controling. just try to go with the flow sometimes and see where the thoughts and feelings are coming from. the heart being broken is a strong thing to deal with so give that person a chance to vent or time to be alone with thier thoughts, whatever they feel most comfortable with. i like to talk and get things out but they might be different. hope this helps as it helps me. god bless you!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[drstevej]

It really is helpful.