Am I trying too hard for God?

[Madmoonsam]

Yes. You are being too religious. In church a guy told me to read x amount of chapters of this book, and x amount of chapters of that book every day. It lasted one day. I get FAR more when I pace myself, instead of agonizingly picking up the Bible and reading because I "Have to". Of course this lends to easily not reading it as much, but I digress...

I have found, and I have gone through hell to find this, that Jesus is there for me. There isn't anything "extra" I can do to get extra from Him. He is simply my dad. He never says, "Well Dave, you read an extra chapter in Psalms today so I am going to let you eat 3 meals tomorrow instead of one."

In fact, I have found that the more I REST in Him, (Not lazy!) the more He honors that and the better He takes care of me. You are trying to overdo righteousness to make up for yoru lapse- forget it. Even if fell back into that sin ten times today... The best thing you can do is to find that peace that only God provides, and push passed the guilt. It'll feel hard- because you want to condemn yourself. But don't. I guarantee you God will come through for you.

The thing is, Jesus takes accepting Him into your life VERY seriously. EVen if you do not. And He WILL be there for you. Cold religion sucks God's spirit out of you almost as fast as sin can. SO don't be religious. Instead, have an actual relationship with Jesus. All it takes is for you to ask Him what to do. TO break the chains. TO open your eyes. That's it! He will do that for you.

You are too correct. I've struggled with guilt most my life. Even with petty things. the enemy knows where to strike. I felt guilty to rest in God because I felt like I was taking advantage of His love. Boy I'm messed up lol

 

[tundrawolf]

You are too correct. I've struggled with guilt most my life. Even with petty things. the enemy knows where to strike. I felt guilty to rest in God because I felt like I was taking advantage of His love. Boy I'm messed up lol

You and me both. I was struggling with intense demonic oppression, when God revealed to me that as a child I had created (THanks to much sexual and physical, spiritual, verbal abuse) a system of self- condemnation, and self damnation so I could feel worthy of God's love.

When I began to grow up I watched hundreds of horror movies, and I began to love being terrified. Love the thought of being damned, of hopelessness.

Satan is nOT going to stop us from harming ourselves. SO later on in life (I am 38) Satan used this to create a diabolical system of horrific torment. God showed me... In a way... I wanted to suffer like this. Satan was manipulating it 100 percent to create a terrible prison for me.

Jesus showed me through a series of revelations that He had never, ever left me, even in my most hopeless despair. And that although I was paralyzed and helpless, He was still there, holding me. I could do ***NOTHING*** to deserve/earn/suffer for grace, and yet, there Jesus was, holding onto me, with a grip that nothing in this universe could break.

I want to give you hope. I want to give everyone who wrestles with their salvation hope. You are more dignified and justified than you can imagine. Have you accepted Jesus into your heart? Have you spoken Him into your life with your mouth? Jesus takes that SERIOUSLY. And He WILL be there for you. Trying to earn it though pain/discipline is worse than wasting your time. It is detrimental. Because it reinforces the idea that you must labor to be worthy of it.

Stop trying. And start accepting His peace. It feels guilty to receive it, because you are literally doing *nothing* to warrant it. It is given freely! Soon a flood or mercy will overcome you. You will be engulfed in tears and repentance, when it is granted. Wait for it... It is coming. Help is on the way.

 

[Another Lazarus]

Do you have joy and happiness in seeking the Lord ?

 

[Madmoonsam]

You and me both. I was struggling with intense demonic oppression, when God revealed to me that as a child I had created (THanks to much sexual and physical, spiritual, verbal abuse) a system of self- condemnation, and self damnation so I could feel worthy of God's love.

When I began to grow up I watched hundreds of horror movies, and I began to love being terrified. Love the thought of being damned, of hopelessness.

Satan is nOT going to stop us from harming ourselves. SO later on in life (I am 38) Satan used this to create a diabolical system of horrific torment. God showed me... In a way... I wanted to suffer like this. Satan was manipulating it 100 percent to create a terrible prison for me.

Jesus showed me through a series of revelations that He had never, ever left me, even in my most hopeless despair. And that although I was paralyzed and helpless, He was still there, holding me. I could do ***NOTHING*** to deserve/earn/suffer for grace, and yet, there Jesus was, holding onto me, with a grip that nothing in this universe could break.

I want to give you hope. I want to give everyone who wrestles with their salvation hope. You are more dignified and justified than you can imagine. Have you accepted Jesus into your heart? Have you spoken Him into your life with your mouth? Jesus takes that SERIOUSLY. And He WILL be there for you. Trying to earn it though pain/discipline is worse than wasting your time. It is detrimental. Because it reinforces the idea that you must labor to be worthy of it.

Stop trying. And start accepting His peace. It feels guilty to receive it, because you are literally doing *nothing* to warrant it. It is given freely! Soon a flood or mercy will overcome you. You will be engulfed in tears and repentance, when it is granted. Wait for it... It is coming. Help is on the way.

You have absolutely given me hope. I suffer greatly from anxiety/ guilt/ self condemning. I think your whole post hit the nail on the head for me. I speak to Jesus through my mouth asking for peace and deliverance from the chains of my mind. But its a viscous cycle. The moment I relax in His peace my dark thoughts come back to haunt me. God gave me a beautiful vision in a dream that I was running a race and the faster I ran the stronger I felt. And I was overwhelmed by peace and love. I know He won't leave me here forever. And back when I was close to Him He spoke through my lips saying shalom bayit which literally means peace in the home. He's only ever spoke to me like that once. And it was the most beautiful experience. I don't share that with people often. But i said it because I KNOW He will help me. But my flesh fights His peace so much and I am drained. So very tired.

 

[Madmoonsam]

Do you have joy and happiness in seeking the Lord ?[/QUOTE

Yes I do enjoy seeking the Lord but right now joy is far from me. But every once in a while when I read something in the Bible that strikes me yes I feel joy and when I know He's speaking to me I am grateful. However right now I am just full of fears and desperation.

 

[Weathering Storms]

One word - DANCE!!

God created music and dance. Put on some faster paced Christian music, and dance around. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy God.
Over and over again, God says through Paul, "Rejoice. And again I say, rejoice."
God doesn't want us slaving over reading times and forcing ourselves to "be good." He wants us joyful. He wants to dance with us!!
Make a gratitude board, and write a list every day. Gratitude for what He's done for us really helps.

 

[Another Lazarus]

One word - DANCE!!

God created music and dance. Put on some faster paced Christian music, and dance around. Enjoy yourself. Enjoy God.
Over and over again, God says through Paul, "Rejoice. And again I say, rejoice."
God doesn't want us slaving over reading times and forcing ourselves to "be good." He wants us joyful. He wants to dance with us!!

Kazi yangu ikiisha - Mbarikiwa Mwakipesile

Nkombo Choir - Sigaho kurambirwa( Do not give up)

 

[Another Lazarus]

Play it loud with big bass !