Am I expecting to much?

[Princessperky]

Or is everyone I meet expecting to little?

We were at the pool and met a 3 yo (in may), he acted more like my 1.5 year old than my 3yo (in April). This usually happens that a child of about a year older than DS acts like him (emotionally and such, I try never to compare mentally)

It made me think of all the things I expect my DS to do, and wonder am I asking to much? Now I am guessing the honest truth is in the middle, but how do you know where the middle is? Expecting enough to still help challenge kids and such, without expecting so much that they have a nervous breakdown?

 

[Andry]

I'd agree the truth is somewhere in the middle. As to the "how" do we determine what that middle is? That's the rub isn't it?

I do know though, that it's not wise to compare ourselves to other parents, or our kids to other kids, especially if we don't know much about them (ie. they're not close friends).

I think having a good relationship with God ourselves is the place to start, so that we become more in tune with what he desires for our kids.

And while every parent has the tendency to think and believe - sincerely - that our kids our 'more advance' than others, that belief oftentimes, IMO, can be more damaging than good, because then we will be expecting too much.

And I'm going in circles now.....but that doesn't mean we shouldn't 'push, prod, lead, encourage' etc our kids to stretch their limits or learn new skills etc. etc.

 

[sara elizabeth]

I always find it very inspiring to read books about children 100yrs ago. (Little house on the Praire for example) Kids back then were given very high expectations and generally lived up to them.

Of course, we need to remember their age limits and give them room to have fun and be kids. A lot of people sell their kids short, though.

 

[Shok]

In school and many other areas my son will only meet expectations despite having great potential. Unless it's something he really likes to do he isn't self motivated.

If your child doesn't experience a certain amount failure or frustration he's not being challenged. Like most things its about moderation.

Shok

 

[McDLT]

Open your child up to many experiences (age appropriate - give or take a year) and see how he does and then compare his reactions with your expectations. Try to find out your child's limits.

My oldest (5) acts older - sometimes and in some situations. My youngest (3) acts about her age, but then turns around and surprises us, in a good way, in more stressful situations.

Hope this helps somewhat.

 

[Linnis]

Children 500 years ago, we're expected to do things like double translation English to latin and back to English with no mistake by age 10 and most did it, and like the other poster said 100 years ago, children by age 5-6 we're expected to do many chores to pull their weight etc.

Sometimes I think people expect too little of their children for the most part, as in they don't give their kids enough credit. If you give your child something to do, just beyond his skill level, it will be a challenge and it's good for his mind to be challenged. Yes, just like us kids need downtime but if you let kids have too much downtime they end up with the I'm bored syndrome.

Case in point I taught my seven year old nephew, Chess and he did remarkably well and I was quite proud of him.