Am I doing the right thing?

[lostnalone1]

Me and my husband have been arguing for quite a while, and about 6 weeks ago I had had enough and I snapped at him, he then tried to strangle me he actually attacked me. I recently found out I am pregnant too. I still love this man and he is trying to get help but am I doing the right thing by staying away even though I still love him and want him back?

 

[Onlythingavailable]

I certainly wouldn't blame you for staying away from someone who tried to strangle you! What good would come from going back without having resolved your issues with your husband (or he having resolved his issues)? I say nothing. You would only put yourself, and your child, at risk.

Pray for your husband and your marriage. Would he perhaps be willing to attend counseling together with you?

 

[fisherman2]

If it happened once, it will happen again, and again,,,

 

[TexasSky]

If you will not think about yourself, think about your child. One fall, one punch in the wrong place, one case of him "strangling you until you black out," and you could end up losing the baby or giving birth to a child who is deformed because his father should be in jail and isn't.

 

[InnocentOdion]

Hi there.

I'd stay away for a while if I were you. It might have been a one off but now you're pregnant you have to think about your child as well. Remember to speak to him about pregnancy though and how you're going to be, well, a nightmare to live with (my wife is pregnant again right now and she's a nuisance, but I love her all the same).

Statistics say a LOT of domestic abuse and trouble starts when a woman is pregnant, so please be careful.

Love and peace,
IO

 

[vespasia]

Hope these URLs can provide some insight for you. You may find it helpful to chat with someone who can offer you real support. Sadly the situation does not sound too good and you do have a little baby to consider.

http://www.womensaid.org.uk/default.asp

These are the UKs national helplines for anyone concerned about domestic violence.
Domestic violence helplines

The following helplines can offer you practical help and advice including:

• emergency refuge accommodation
• safety planning and advice
• translation facilities if you have difficulty communicating in English

English National Domestic Violence helpline

0808 2000 247
Northern Ireland Women's Aid 24 Hour Domestic Violence Helpline

028 9033 1818
Scottish Domestic Abuse Helpline

0800 027 1234
Wales Domestic Abuse Helpline

0808 80 10 800
www.wdah.org

Male Advice & Enquiry Line

0845 064 6800
The Dyn Wales/Dyn Cymru Helpline

0808 801 0321

 

[UnitynLove]

YES! God didn't mean for you to take any type of abuse.

 

[Ceili]

If it happened once, it will happen again, and again,,,

wow,this is a warning and unless he shows a long term change you and your child are in danger.

 

[Billnew]

Me and my husband have been arguing for quite a while, and about 6 weeks ago I had had enough and I snapped at him, he then tried to strangle me he actually attacked me. I recently found out I am pregnant too. I still love this man and he is trying to get help but am I doing the right thing by staying away even though I still love him and want him back?

He has attacked you. Meaning he either doesn't care for you, or he can't control his anger.(IT DOES NOT MEAN you are causing him to loose his temper.) You snapping at him, does not equal him getting violent.

At no time is it allowed for a verbal fight to go physical.
(same goes for women too, but less comon)

He needs to get help, learn why he can't control his anger, and learn how to deal with it. Then you might be able to start dating again, but it is up to you. He is only half of a couple, he is not in charge and must realize this.(again women too, but not as comon)
And when I say start dating again, thats what I mean.
The person you were dating first was a bad person, he will have to earn your trust back. Don't go anywhere alone with him until he has proven he is safe.
The easy answer for strangers is to say never see him again. But there is something about him you still love, and he might be ok, once he gets rid of the demons.
You must first protect you and your baby. There are plenty of men out there that won't hurt you.

You don't have to answer this, but do you seek the controling men? The men more prone to violence?
You might believe you deserve this type of person or need this type of person. If you can't live with him, this will be important so you don't jump from the frying pan into the fire. There are worse out there, remember he didn't kill, cripple,or disfigure you.

 

[Zara9]

I agree with all the good advice you have received from everyone. You have your baby to think of now, as well as yourself. Your husband isn't safe for you to be with. ​

Maybe with time and counseling he can be trusted, but not until after you have had your baby.​

Be Safe!!!​

​

 

[Mr.Cheese]

.

 

[daydreamergurl15]

Forgive me Lord for what I am about to say:

Honestly, if my husband tried to strangle me, we both would be in jail, because I would fight back and then leave him. And I would spend the rest of my life without a husband because we did not get a biblical divorce.

I know it is easy for me to say, because that's the type of person I am (and I'm not married) but whatever you do, please pray that God will open both of your hearts in this situation. Because I cannot honestly tell you, in good consciousness, to go back to your husband but I know God will tell you what to do for this situation to be right in His eyes. I do not mean you leaving your husband is making the situation wrong in any way, if you are a Christian, then you are the medium in which the Holy Spirit will be working on to make this situation right.

 

[Gods4me]

if you have had the courage to leave (which im guessin from your post) I would just stay away.
its that he actually had his hands round you neck. if this is what he does when you dont get on then it will possible happen again and you dont want a child in that house.

you are doing the righ thing and you are very very brave to do it.