Am I cynical to not expect to find a virgin?

[makkulu]

basically I agree with you; I am just commenting that a Christian is not any less forgiving if she chooses that she cannot handle being with a future spouse who is not a virgin.

Hi again invisible-babe,
Thanks for your response. I didn't mean to imply that someone who believes this is automatically less forgiving, and I don't think that. Some people may well be, and I have met many who haven't thought it through and just see all non-virgins as fallen sinners, and I have certainly talked to them about it and tried to bring a different perspective.

But for others, they may simply be considering the sorts of factors you mention and have a myriad of other reasons for feeling this way too, that have nothing to do with judging or being unforgiving or whatever.

Your point about compatibility with a spouse to me highlights what should be the really decisive issue in all this; you will be marrying an individual person who is unique and like no other - we are all people, first and foremost, and choosing the right person to enter into the covenant of marriage with is "the biggy", to me.

blessings
Makk

 

[invisiblebabe]

Hi again invisible-babe,
Thanks for your response. I didn't mean to imply that someone who believes this is automatically less forgiving, and I don't think that. Some people may well be, and I have met many who haven't thought it through and just see all non-virgins as fallen sinners, and I have certainly talked to them about it and tried to bring a different perspective.

But for others, they may simply be considering the sorts of factors you mention and have a myriad of other reasons for feeling this way too, that have nothing to do with judging or being unforgiving or whatever.

Your point about compatibility with a spouse to me highlights what should be the really decisive issue in all this; you will be marrying an individual person who is unique and like no other - we are all people, first and foremost, and choosing the right person to enter into the covenant of marriage with is "the biggy", to me.

blessings
Makk

Thanks I agree that compatibility (physically, intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally) is the key factor in choosing a spouse.

 

[SOLDOUT4HIM]

Think about it. If you are a virgin, why wouldn't God send you your wife as a virgin? Pray about it. Prayer that God blesses, keeps safe, strengthens,etc. your wife-to-be is the greatest gift you can give her besides your pure self!

 

[Grimace]

Think about it. If you are a virgin, why wouldn't God send you your wife as a virgin?

Well, I know lots of couples where one was a virgin and one wasn't. My sister was a virgin when she married her husband, but he was not (he made a mistake that he still regrets to this day). Yet their marriage is happy and blessed. I wouldn't be opposed to dating someone who is not a virgin, as long as he is committed to purity now.

To the OP: I don't know if that is cynical or not. I know there are Christian girls out there who are virgins. I'm one. But I know a lot are not virgins, both Christian males and females. I think it is better to marry a non-virgin who is committed to purity now, rather than marry a virgin who burns with lust. My ex fiance was a virgin, but he was so consumed with lust it made me feel dirty just to be around him, sometimes, knowing what he was thinking about.

 

[waterbear]

Well, I know lots of couples where one was a virgin and one wasn't. My sister was a virgin when she married her husband, but he was not (he made a mistake that he still regrets to this day). Yet their marriage is happy and blessed. I wouldn't be opposed to dating someone who is not a virgin, as long as he is committed to purity now.

To the OP: I don't know if that is cynical or not. I know there are Christian girls out there who are virgins. I'm one. But I know a lot are not virgins, both Christian males and females. I think it is better to marry a non-virgin who is committed to purity now, rather than marry a virgin who burns with lust. My ex fiance was a virgin, but he was so consumed with lust it made me feel dirty just to be around him, sometimes, knowing what he was thinking about.

I don't think "true" virgins are any more prone to being lustful than "born again" virgins. A person's philsoophical beliefs in addition to their religuous beliefs contribute to how they understand and idealize relationships. E.g. even a non-theist who views their more animalistic desires as something outside of themselves may be less lustful than a Christian who views their animalistic desires as THEIR desires. An idealistic less lustful than a non-idealist, etc.

 

[JPPT1974]

Christians do their best to find that true mate. But devout Christians wait to save their gift of virginity on wedding night if God wants them to have a mate or not. I am nearly 30 but I have been a virgin and I am proud of that and hopefully will keep like that if and when I find a mate. But that is only in God's will if that will happen.

 

[Joseph_Kerr]

I'm a 34 year old virgin who decided at 14 that I would remain a virgin until my wedding night. As you all know, it isn't easy in this sex addicted society, but it is possible. I hope that this encourages you younger Christians.

 

[Emma!]

I was a virgin on my wedding night, and so was my husband.
(We were 20 & 21 when we got married)

It was the best way to go, Gods way!!