Am I being unreasonable?

[InvisibleViolet]

I've been dating my boyfriend for 3 months and out of those 3 months we haven't gone on an official date in 2 months. We always either hang out at my house or his or go to the store .His excuse for not going anywhere recently is that he doesn't have any money yet just yesterday he bought a four wheeler. It doesn't have to be something expensive I'm just fine going to the dollar theater and watching a movie or doing something free like going to the lake or walking on the trails. The point is I want to at least go out once a month and I would pay for myself sometimes but yes I would expect for him to pay for me the other half. Is it unreasonable to say hey why can't we go out go out for coffee or sit at Barnes and noble and read a book and chat when you have the time and money to buy a four wheeler?

 

[overit]

Meh, I'd say end it now and find yourself someone who values you more and wants to do things with you. Let him date his four-wheeler. What a winner he is! NOT

 

[Leanna]

I'd dump him and find someone else. If he's this boring and selfish now, he's going to be 10 times as boring and selfish in a long term relationship.

 

[puddleoffaith]

Ask him to take you out on his new four-wheeler!

 

[puddleoffaith]

haha, ok, seriously? It depends on his age. If he's still in his late teens or early twenties, a 4-wheeler may be more important than a gf. This does not make it right, but those may be the facts. It also doesn't make it wrong...is it possible to have a gf and still have some things that are more important to you? Would you like to be that gf? Maybe he's been saving up for some time.

If you can't handle this fact, then dump him. If you think you can, then make the best of it. Maybe ask him to the dollar movies and treat him (it's a buck) and maybe he'll realize he doesn't treat you. Do things for free. Do things cheap. See how it goes.

 

[InvisibleViolet]

He's 25 years old and this wasn't something that was planned out . It was a spur of the moment thing because someone made him an offer.I'm about 99.9 % sure that I'm going to dump him at this point. The things he never has the time or money to go out whether it's something cheap or completely free. I'm not going to spend any money taking him out when he has no inclination or desire to do the same and I've felt like I've gone out of my way trying to do sweet gestures and be a good girlfriend and it's very rarely returned. Yet he claims that he cares sooooooooo much about me. Sorry i just had to get that out! He makes me so mad.

 

[puddleoffaith]

He's 25 years old and this wasn't something that was planned out . It was a spur of the moment thing because someone made him an offer.I'm about 99.9 % sure that I'm going to dump him at this point. The things he never has the time or money to go out whether it's something cheap or completely free. I'm not going to spend any money taking him out when he has no inclination or desire to do the same and I've felt like I've gone out of my way trying to do sweet gestures and be a good girlfriend and it's very rarely returned. Yet he claims that he cares sooooooooo much about me. Sorry i just had to get that out! He makes me so mad.

as my mother would say, "Run, don't walk"
If it was a spur-of-the-moment thing, he obviously had money all that time but had no inclination to spend any on you. And it's not even the money...he could easily plan a cheap picnic by a lake or one of those free movie showing things at the locAL library (sure, they can be boring, but it's a plan-it's a date).

 

[none the wiser]

I would agree with the "run, don't walk" sentiment. Words without actions are totally worthless.

 

[k450ofu3k-gh-5ipe]

Ask him to take you out on his new four-wheeler!

I approve of this

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

If you've been clear in expressing your frusterations and dissatisfactions to him and have even tried to suggest ways to improve things yet he is making no effort to change things on his part, that is a bad sign.

Actions speak way louder than words. I've learned this the hard way myself. I think its crucial to have give and take in a relationship. Of course you cant just assume the other person can read your mind about what is bothering you. But if you have communicated about it and made it clear how important this is to you, then either he will make an effort or he doesnt really care that much.

 

[wonderwoman]

Does he go out and do things with other people, say his friends or whoever? Is he a homebody? or does he just avoid going out with you?

If the latter is true, i'd rethink the whole relationship. Don't give to another what they are not willing to give to you. You deserve better treatment and shouldn't compromise for second best. If he is being like this so early on, what does this say about his character and future behavior? Save yourself the future heart ache and wait for someone who will make you feel special and appreciated.