am i being mean?

[called]

So, I work in a pretty enclosed space (a coffee shop) and one of the night shift crew has asked me on a date this coming Friday. I'm the open shift. I see this guy for maybe five minutes a day as he comes in and I leave. I've worked with him at most 3 times since October. I'm not interested. In the least. He's atheist for one thing and I'm not physically attracted to him. I agreed to go out with him on Friday because I could tell just how terrifying it was for him to ask me. Was it wrong of me to agree to this date when he pretty much has no chance?

 

[GoodNewsJim]

Just don't save all your pent up rejection for the date.

 

[called]

I don't plan on being the date from hell. I feel guilty more than anything.

 

[ido]

What would be mean would be not letting him down gently. I can't say I've ever accepted a date out of pity - which is what it sounds like you did. But since you accepted, be gracious enough to let the dude down gently after the date.

 

[called]

He asked me in front of my other coworkers... and I still had to work with him for another 2 hours. That was one of the three times I've worked with him. I was put on the spot. If he asks me again I'll have to explain that I can't date him. I'm not going to take a sledgehammer to his ego and I'd rather it not have an audience.

 

[ido]

He asked me in front of my other coworkers... and I still had to work with him for another 2 hours. That was one of the three times I've worked with him. I was put on the spot. If he asks me again I'll have to explain that I can't date him. I'm not going to take a sledgehammer to his ego and I'd rather it not have an audience.

Something I've learned is to not allow someone to make me feel put on the spot. If he chose to ask you in front of co-workers, then it was on his head if he got rejected in front of them. Don't let yourself get pressured into accepting dates. It can be more difficult to get rid of the person once you've accepted a date than if you turn them down from the get-go.

I feel for ya.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

wow, I am so totally NOT that nice....

 

[Fremdin]

You may find that he is awesome, and if not a boyfriend than maybe a good friend who is a boy.

 

[divinesong]

i always seem to be attracting those i am not interested in... I always feel really bad and think of some pretty lame excuses as to why a can't go ouer it with them. which i KNOW are transparent. but i just never learned how to "let them down gently"

 

[Alphawolf]

I honestly don't see it going anywhere.

Don't be so nice next time. Rejection happens to guys. They get over it... well I never do but most guys do! hahaha

 

[SpartenforGod]

Being rejected is not exactly fun, but it kind of comes with the territory of being a guy. Your best to just say you can't. We get rejected all the time, it helps us grow (helped me anyway) but don't accept a date out of pity. Most guys can tell when its for that reason. I emphasize most, not all.

 

[spr]

I wouldn't want to be within of 100 yards of someone who thought they owed me something.

 

[Chrissie59]

I don't think your being mean. Just go on the date and tell him the truth, why your not into him, and that it was sweet he asked you out etc.
As long as you let him know as soon as you can so there are less hurt feelings there's nothing wrong with that.
And don't let yourself get put on the spot! If someone does that again say you'll get back to them or something so it's not like your rejecting him in front of everyone.

 

[CoachR64]

I once accepted a blind date. After accepting, her friend begain to give me all kinds of information, including pictures. I was not attracted to her in the least and we had absolutely nothing in common. She is into theater and opera, I am into football and rock n roll. Instead of going out and wasting this girls time, I told them I didn't feel she was someone I would be interested in dating and I canceled the date about a week in advance.

If you are truly not interested, there is no sense in wasting his time or yours. Be honest and let him know that you are not interested and move on.

Coach

 

[HazelAngel]

You are not being mean. Ur just expressin ur own oppinions. Thats all ur doin, ur not being rude and by my point with this thread u are definatly not being mean. Does that answer ur question??

 

[SonicBOOM]

So, I work in a pretty enclosed space (a coffee shop) and one of the night shift crew has asked me on a date this coming Friday. I'm the open shift. I see this guy for maybe five minutes a day as he comes in and I leave. I've worked with him at most 3 times since October. I'm not interested. In the least. He's atheist for one thing and I'm not physically attracted to him. I agreed to go out with him on Friday because I could tell just how terrifying it was for him to ask me. Was it wrong of me to agree to this date when he pretty much has no chance?

yeah, you probably shouldn't of agreed on a date..... but just let him down gently

 

[kingoffools13]

Its not "mean" you just got caught off guard. If you had had any time to think about it you probably would have come to the same point you are at now where you basically realize its probably not going to be a good match up and you would probably have answered differently as well. If you think there is no chance of it working you should be honest though and go and tell them, or if you think you would at least have a good time go and hang out, maybe make a friend at least.

K
O
f

 

[soccerdad66]

I wouldn't either, cuz in the back of your mind you're going go to be thinking "this was a bad idea", "I wish I wasn't here", etc, it's going to be ackward.

And he asked you out in front of everyone? He's either bold, or it was a calculated risk, and it seems to have paidoff

 

[soccerdad66]

You don't want this to happen to you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac3AzaDohd0

 

[deliciousBass]

I think you should cancel that date and tell him the truth. Why postpone the rejection and humiliation?