am i a disloyal friend?

[devotee]

Hi peoples ~

For as long as i can remember i have had difficulties maintaining friendships, and the recurring reason seems to be my "cat" nature - i am loyal only to myself - or so i am told.

There are times when i feel a friend is pointing to something, or dropping their keys, or engaging me in a conversation about a topic, to show others that they 'own' me. It's a catch 22, i feel they think the world is more important, and they think i am more concerned about how others see me.

I trust others, but there are times when i will not support their actions; i will not ignore another just because i have been told by a friend that the person has [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ed them off. Too often i have found that i was just a tool for that friend to retaliate on a person for a reason other than what was said to me; or, what i consider worse, just to test my 'loyalty'.

SO, feedback would be appreciated from those who don't mind "cats", can give insight as to what you consider loyalty, do you test it in this way - and why, becasue i just don't get it.

BTW. i may be adhad - the diagnosis is pending

 

[Amin]

Hi,
My idea of what a loyal friend is,,,,is someone that can be trusted, someone that cares about you, someone that doesn't mind being called in the wee hours of the morning for help, and someone that does not use you for any type of personal gain.
The only way i know of is to test the waters. You know, Don't go
overboard until you know you can trust them.
Friendships don't come overnite,
they're built.
Chuck.

 

[Anti Existance]

Lol i love cats, and who can you trust?

You see trust takes time. Before you give someone your trust, you should spend lets say 3 months, if the person is good , you give that person more of your trust , let them earn it. If after a year they are still trustworthy, then you can give them even more trust. Up till the point that your totally open, but its a good thing to always have a little bit of suspicion, just in case. However don't become a victim of the paranoid.

You see, you need to be like a castle gate, close yourself to bad people/things/events and open yourself up to good people/things/events.

You have to understand that its 'ok' to open yourself up to a person who has only good intentions with you. That's why its so important how to open and close yourself.

Those 'supposedly' called friends of yours who sold you out 'aren't' friends. Real friends are supposed to love eachother unconditionally and make eachother happy.

If people are only with you to make advantage of you, what kind of people are that? Its those kind of people who you have to distrust, as they are with you as long as they gain from you. And there's a saying.

In bad times, a real friend steps into your life while a fake friend steps out.

The most important thing for you to understand is the meaning of life. You are here in this world that is filled with darkness and hatred, to bring love and light. So loving and helping other people is the most important thing ,

The universe is like a mirror what you cast into it gets casted back to you.Because Just as a mirror reflects a person's image. People reflect their own hearts. ONLY cast love and light into the lives of other people.

Its very basic actually in terms of relationships. No action = No reaction. So basically if you don't do anything, there's no reason for you to expect anything. Action = reaction, so investing into a person by talking, cheering them up, helping them, can establish a frienship , and loyalty in terms of that you would die for a friend you truelly cared about. However you must be weary that your kindness does not get abused.

Its ok to help people, but not by getting destroyed in the process yourself.

 

[Harlan Norris]

Hi peoples ~

For as long as i can remember i have had difficulties maintaining friendships, and the recurring reason seems to be my "cat" nature - i am loyal only to myself - or so i am told.

There are times when i feel a friend is pointing to something, or dropping their keys, or engaging me in a conversation about a topic, to show others that they 'own' me. It's a catch 22, i feel they think the world is more important, and they think i am more concerned about how others see me.

I trust others, but there are times when i will not support their actions; i will not ignore another just because i have been told by a friend that the person has [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ed them off. Too often i have found that i was just a tool for that friend to retaliate on a person for a reason other than what was said to me; or, what i consider worse, just to test my 'loyalty'.

SO, feedback would be appreciated from those who don't mind "cats", can give insight as to what you consider loyalty, do you test it in this way - and why, becasue i just don't get it.

BTW. i may be adhad - the diagnosis is pending

Frankly, it seems reasonable to me that if one does not subscribe to the actions of another,it's ok to end that association. If at some point, they want to discuss what happened,well,that's the only opening one needs.One can then say,well here's why. If they do not agree,or if they can't see your point,they are probably better off without you. And you without them.

 

[FallingWaters]

Hi peoples ~

For as long as i can remember i have had difficulties maintaining friendships, and the recurring reason seems to be my "cat" nature - i am loyal only to myself - or so i am told.

There are times when i feel a friend is pointing to something, or dropping their keys, or engaging me in a conversation about a topic, to show others that they 'own' me. It's a catch 22, i feel they think the world is more important, and they think i am more concerned about how others see me.

I trust others, but there are times when i will not support their actions; i will not ignore another just because i have been told by a friend that the person has [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]ed them off. Too often i have found that i was just a tool for that friend to retaliate on a person for a reason other than what was said to me; or, what i consider worse, just to test my 'loyalty'.

SO, feedback would be appreciated from those who don't mind "cats", can give insight as to what you consider loyalty, do you test it in this way - and why, becasue i just don't get it.

BTW. i may be adhad - the diagnosis is pending

This sounds like the reason why I don't have many friends. I can't stand all the petty politics!