Alzheimers

[BethMae]

Are there any other caregivers for people with Alzheimers out there?

-Beth

 

[sk8Joyful]

Are there any other caregivers for
people with Alzheimers out there?
-Beth

Hi Beth,
Wanna know *how to more successfully communicate* with people diagnosed like that? ~ Annie

 

[Arwenbaby]

Beth, I take care of my mother. It's hard. Somedays are better than others.Sometimes I would like to run away. I worked til I had to take care of her. She is on Hospice now. The nurse comes out once a day and the aid comes 3 times a week. It helps a little. If you need to talk email me. I have been married 5 years to my husband, it is hard on us. We never get to go any where together, someone has to stay with her. I haven't been deer huntin in 4 years. I love getting out in the woods for a peace of mind. She is in the last stages of Alzheimers. Robbie

 

[cwolf20]

My grandmother was diagnosed a few years ago. According to the doctor, she's had it for longer than it took to diagnose it.

From what I can see, her memory is... splotchy? On one trip I went with her, my mother, and a few cousins to an uncle's house. We had dinner with his in-laws. One of whom lives there with him and his wife. (Not used to calling her Aunt yet. But I am 31, and they've been married for 2 years. I think she understands.)

One of them is a vet, missing his legs. He's around 90, and was on the bottom level. As tends to happen in a large gathering, pretty much everyone went hairing off into their own directions and forgot him for awhile. So I sat and kept him and my grandmother busy. There are many people who would think a guy wouldn't have the patience for that.

It was fun to watch the man flirt with my grandmother. Though at that point, she thought Papaw who died around 14 years ago, give or take a year.... was upstairs talking to some friends. I'm not sure who she thought I was.

I could go on and on. There are good points and bad points. But the thing is I still get to spend time with her.

Incidentally, she has the unique knack of remembering if one of her "kids" is sick. I had a migraine one night. And went to sleep it off. 4 hours later she came up to check on me. My mother says she's always focused on things to worry about, sometimes to a fault.

Incidentally, all of the family is working very hard to make sure that her stay in the house she's lived in for 70 years is enjoyable to her. It's the choice of the family that she stays there instead of a nursing home. And we all hope and pray that she'll be able to continue to live there for as long as she lives.

 

[Anti Existance]

If its really bad up here we put them in closed facilities, not a prison but a sort of closed recreation area. so they don't try to escape and goto long dead family members. Strange things happen, my uncle(not my real uncle but we always called him that way) managed to escape and visit my grandma, he hold down a person(he was pretty well known) who drove him back to my grandma, then he started pounding on the windows wanting to come in(can't blame him because grandma's place is really cozy) it sorta went like that because i heard it from second hand. (another story) my uncles father and mother, finally went to an elderly house. So my uncles father ordered a moving company (company had no idea) and they loaded a huge truckload full of garbage (a collection started at world war 2 lol) and they wanted to bring everything to the elderly house. lololol , its sad these people really have the good intention to do it the right way but they seem distant, we have to have to try to give as much understanding and compassion to these people as we possibly can , but we also have to take in aspect that these people need to be treated by professional caretakers.

 

[Harlan Norris]

Are there any other caregivers for people with Alzheimers out there?

-Beth

I am. My mother has alzheimers. She recently came to stay with me. She is a complete invalid.She was in an assisted living facility for the last five years. I was good about going to see her. I visited 3 to 6 times weekly. I also had a part time job. Now I'm the caregiver. I'm an only child. Theres no one else. My family helps out,but the majority including changing her depends and feeding her are done by me.I'm blessed, she is not much trouble as I'm shure some patients are.I've been at it now for a little over a month.For me it was hardest at first.I hardly slept the first week.Then she got sick. Things looked grim,but she pulled through.Now she's doing as well as can be expected. She's in hospice care. They come twice a week. One is a nurse the other is a cna.The cna bathes her and the nurse is helping to get the skin tears that develop from time to time cleared up. If not for my faith, I'm shure I couldn't manage.Of couse there is really no going anywhere with my wife. That is probably the hardest part.No freedom.However I'm comitted to this. I'm doing it one day at a time. God will get me through this.Just like all the other things.Prayer is important.I've been doing a lot of that lately. I view this as a trial,the gift of God,to strenghten my faith

 

[BethMae]

Well, my grandpa got violent over thanksgiving, and we had to put him in the hospital. His next stop from here is a home. We just can't care for him if he's going to be hurting my grandma. It's a hard transition, my grandmother has lived with him for 57 years and it's sort of like a death in the family, but we can't morn because he's still "alive". It's sad to see a very gentle soul loose his mind. He was the best man I knew. I hope they can find the meds to at least bring him back a little :-(

How is everyone else doing?

 

[Arwenbaby]

It's hard taking care of them. My daddy had Alzheiners.My mother and I took care of him til the day God took him. My dad took the keys once and took off in the car. Mom called the sheriff's dept and told them that my dad got the keys to the car and they found him and brought him home. Now I take care of my mother. I had to leave my job ALS Alumbance (EMTIV Tech) and in paramedic school to take care of her. I would do it again. I think caregivers are great ( the family members). The alzheiners patient needs to be where they can remember things. If I would put my mother in a nursing home she would die. She is all I have left. If I go anywhere I have to get a sitter or my husband watches her. Just take one day at a time, thats all we can do. Just remember that God loves you. I will pray for all.

 

[BethMae]

My grandpa is dying. We put him in the hospital not more than two weeks ago and he just stopped eating. He won't take water, he pulls out his IV. He's ready to die. They are moving him to hospice tomorrow morning. It's a big shock to me because I didn't expect him to die for another 20 years or so. Neither did the rest of my family. They don't expect him to live more than one week. :-( I guess in a way it's better, because he won't be suffering anymore and he will be Home. It's still pretty tough to handle though.
I guess I won't be posting here from now on. Thanks for your support :0)

God Bless You All. Love your family.

 

[Arwenbaby]

Beth, My mother has been with Hospice for 1 1/2 years. They did not think she was going to live more than a couple months. She has fooled all of them. Sometimes she says she wants to die, and other times when she can remember she wants to stay around and bug me. I told to stay has long as she wants and bug me anytime she wants to. Somedays she eats and eats and other days she just sleeps. Like yesterday we went to walmart and got my grandaughter and came home she went to sleep. I could not even give her meds to her. My mother ate this morning and has slept all day. To night I tried to feed her did not eat but she took her meds. I love her and I'm not ready for her to go. This is my last parent alive. My dad had alzheimers too. I was standing over my dad when he died (10 years ago). I was in my 30's now in my 40's with my mother. I am to young not to have a parent around. I want the grandkids to know her. It's hard taking care of them, but I would not have it any other way. My husband Tom ( tommiegrant on here) babysits for me so I can get away. We just don't get to do anything together. I hope things go good for your family. Love, Robbie

 

[BethMae]

Beth, My mother has been with Hospice for 1 1/2 years. They did not think she was going to live more than a couple months. She has fooled all of them. Sometimes she says she wants to die, and other times when she can remember she wants to stay around and bug me. I told to stay has long as she wants and bug me anytime she wants to. Somedays she eats and eats and other days she just sleeps. Like yesterday we went to walmart and got my grandaughter and came home she went to sleep. I could not even give her meds to her. My mother ate this morning and has slept all day. To night I tried to feed her did not eat but she took her meds. I love her and I'm not ready for her to go. This is my last parent alive. My dad had alzheimers too. I was standing over my dad when he died (10 years ago). I was in my 30's now in my 40's with my mother. I am to young not to have a parent around. I want the grandkids to know her. It's hard taking care of them, but I would not have it any other way. My husband Tom ( tommiegrant on here) babysits for me so I can get away. We just don't get to do anything together. I hope things go good for your family. Love, Robbie

Thank you My grandpa is dying, he will most likely die today. We were at the hospice most of the day. He's turning grey and he's breathing very deeply. He is unconcious. We didn't want to be there when he dies, my grandma cannot handle that so we left. Also, I think that he may not want a bunch of family standing around watching him die. I'm very sad, but I'm glad he'll be going to see Jesus. I told him that I love him, and that he's the best grandpa in the world. When I get to heaven we can play a game of tiles together. I can't wait to see him again.

I hope that your mother is doing well. I'm glad that you cherish her. They are gifts to us.

-Beth Mae

 

[Arwenbaby]

Beth, How is your grandpa doing? My mom is doing ok I guess. This morning she was pale and hard to wake up. I put my cold hands on her trying to put her oxygen back on and she opened her eyes and said your hands are cold. Please let me know how you are doing. If you need to talk just email me. Love, Robbie
Sorry I haven't been on, but its been crazy around here.

 

[justafayes]

Are there any other caregivers for people with Alzheimers out there?

-Beth

Dear sister,, we have a rest home strictly for Alzheimers patients.. I'm not sure what their program is,, but I'm sure they are trained in that area.. there should be sometype of service as this in your area.. call your local physician referral service or social services.. Love you in the Lord, Faye

 

[CCe]

You all are such unselfish and caring people! I've felt so ashamed of myself after reading some of your post. I actually posted on another thread about the same thing not knowing this one was here. My father in-law has Alzheimers and we are facing taking his keys and moving them both into our house. I'm not looking forward to it (hence, my shame).

Although they have two sons, the older one is not stable and only comes around when he wants something. My husband, the baby, is having a hard time making decisions for his parents because he can't admit they are getting older. His moto is "let's not talk about it and it will go away"...(maybe not to that extent but certainly advoiding as much as possible). Something really needs to be done very soon....guess since I'm the daughter in-law I'll end up being the bad guy.

 

[Arwenbaby]

CCe, Everything will be alright. Just take one day at a time. My mothers health is going down fast now. Her heart gets worst each week when the nurse comes out. In the mornings i'm scared to go to her bedroom, scared what I might see. It's hard but life goes on. Iwas standing over my dad when he died at home.My mom and I took care of him. I'm the only child, so its hard I know. If you want to talk just email me. LOve, Robbie

 

[Harlan Norris]

Well I thought I'd post an update. Mom is doing ok. Now over three months with us.She is sleeping more and more.Eating less and less.I still get her up every day,dress her and feed her.Now she is pretty much unresponsive.It's hard dealing with this slow decline.Getting her to eat is the most frustrating.She still drinks her enshure.Frankly that's what she's living on now.The nurse now comes every week.The cna still comes twice a week.I am grateful for their help.Also a volunteer working through hospice,comes on thurs.to give me a couple of hours break.Just a short get away.I pray daily for strength.I'm still doing it one day at a time.

 

[AngelDove1]

Well I thought I'd post an update. Mom is doing ok. Now over three months with us.She is sleeping more and more.Eating less and less.I still get her up every day,dress her and feed her.Now she is pretty much unresponsive.It's hard dealing with this slow decline.Getting her to eat is the most frustrating.She still drinks her enshure.Frankly that's what she's living on now.The nurse now comes every week.The cna still comes twice a week.I am grateful for their help.Also a volunteer working through hospice,comes on thurs.to give me a couple of hours break.Just a short get away.I pray daily for strength.I'm still doing it one day at a time.

RASPIT CARE IN VARY IMPORTENT FOR THE CARE GIVER.....HOSPICE IS A SUPER BLESSING.

I KNOW I WORKED FOR THEM FOR 4 YRS.

AS THE DECLINING PROGRESSES.....STILL GIVE HER HUGS,AND BUTTERFLY KISSS.TELL HER YOU LOVER HER EVERYDAY.EVEN IF IT SEEMS LIKE SHE DON'T UNDERSTAND.
KEEP US POSTED...PLEASE.

SHE IS A CHILD OF THE KING JESUS.

MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.

 

[Arwenbaby]

RASPIT CARE IN VARY IMPORTENT FOR THE CARE GIVER.....HOSPICE IS A SUPER BLESSING.

I KNOW I WORKED FOR THEM FOR 4 YRS.

AS THE DECLINING PROGRESSES.....STILL GIVE HER HUGS,AND BUTTERFLY KISSS.TELL HER YOU LOVER HER EVERYDAY.EVEN IF IT SEEMS LIKE SHE DON'T UNDERSTAND.
KEEP US POSTED...PLEASE.

SHE IS A CHILD OF THE KING JESUS.

MY PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU.

I am so gald your mom is doing better. Mine is still the same. We are going out of town this weekend and my mother-in-law is coming to babysit my mother. I hope there is no problems. Love, Robbie

 

[katautumn]

You all are such unselfish and caring people! I've felt so ashamed of myself after reading some of your post. I actually posted on another thread about the same thing not knowing this one was here. My father in-law has Alzheimers and we are facing taking his keys and moving them both into our house. I'm not looking forward to it (hence, my shame).

Although they have two sons, the older one is not stable and only comes around when he wants something. My husband, the baby, is having a hard time making decisions for his parents because he can't admit they are getting older. His moto is "let's not talk about it and it will go away"...(maybe not to that extent but certainly advoiding as much as possible). Something really needs to be done very soon....guess since I'm the daughter in-law I'll end up being the bad guy.

*hugs* You have no reason to feel ashamed of your feelings. I am taking care of my MIL who has Alzheimer's and I admit that there are many days that I want to pull my hair and scream. Yes, I get angry. Yes, I get frustrated. The hardest part about being a caregiver for, essentially, an adult toddler is that you tend to forget about yourself. It's hard to admit that you still need your time and your space when caring for someone who can no longer care for themselves. And it's especially difficult when it is someone who has the mental faculties of a five year old, but they still know they are an adult.

It's hard when you have to make them do something like relinquish the car keys or close their checking account because it is no longer safe for them.

We are currently facing the situation in my household with situations like when my husband goes out of town to visit his son. Last time he went, I decided to stay home but asked if it would be alright for his mother to stay with her eldest son and his wife for the weekend so that I could actually have some "me" time. She got everything ready, had her bag packed, we had made arrangements with DH's brother. I came home from work that day and she was still home. I asked her if her son had come by and she said, "no, was he supposed to? Oh, wait, yes he did. He said some nonsense about me staying with him for the weekend, but I told him I didn't want to so he left". I called my husband and he called his brother and told him I wasn't going to be home this weekend and his brother said, "hey, she didn't want to come. I'm not going to make her. She can stay home by herself". I'm thinking, no she can't. This is the same woman who almost burned the house down a few months ago and gets scared and angry if we're out past sunset. But this whole, "we can't make her do something she doesn't want to do" is very frustrating.

I know it's hard when you have to be a parent to your parents, but at some point you have to take the reigns and make their decisions for them. Sometimes they have no clue you're even doing it and sometimes they totally fly off the handle.

 

[CCe]

Sounds like you're handling it well! My in-laws are still where they were and no one (sons) is making any decisions about what to do. My FIL doesn't know our names....he's forgotten how to unlock his car (yes, he's still driving) and various other things. I worry about them but there's nothing I can do. I just pray they stay safe and don't hurt anyone else.

*hugs* You have no reason to feel ashamed of your feelings. I am taking care of my MIL who has Alzheimer's and I admit that there are many days that I want to pull my hair and scream. Yes, I get angry. Yes, I get frustrated. The hardest part about being a caregiver for, essentially, an adult toddler is that you tend to forget about yourself. It's hard to admit that you still need your time and your space when caring for someone who can no longer care for themselves. And it's especially difficult when it is someone who has the mental faculties of a five year old, but they still know they are an adult.

It's hard when you have to make them do something like relinquish the car keys or close their checking account because it is no longer safe for them.

We are currently facing the situation in my household with situations like when my husband goes out of town to visit his son. Last time he went, I decided to stay home but asked if it would be alright for his mother to stay with her eldest son and his wife for the weekend so that I could actually have some "me" time. She got everything ready, had her bag packed, we had made arrangements with DH's brother. I came home from work that day and she was still home. I asked her if her son had come by and she said, "no, was he supposed to? Oh, wait, yes he did. He said some nonsense about me staying with him for the weekend, but I told him I didn't want to so he left". I called my husband and he called his brother and told him I wasn't going to be home this weekend and his brother said, "hey, she didn't want to come. I'm not going to make her. She can stay home by herself". I'm thinking, no she can't. This is the same woman who almost burned the house down a few months ago and gets scared and angry if we're out past sunset. But this whole, "we can't make her do something she doesn't want to do" is very frustrating.

I know it's hard when you have to be a parent to your parents, but at some point you have to take the reigns and make their decisions for them. Sometimes they have no clue you're even doing it and sometimes they totally fly off the handle.