Always a victim?

[mimibeloved]

Praying for you.

 

[now faith]

Some view this attraction,using the term codependent pairing.
You are right you are loved here,the Christians here are sincere in supporting you.
It is not your fault that others have targeted you, may not understand is that their motives are not the same as yours.
You seek to help and nurture others,and they perceive it as weakness.
You have not failed,they have.

I do not know what type of person you have been victimized by,
but it sounds like abuse from people with Narcissistic personality disorder.

Trust in God always,he will give you the discernment to break this cycle of pain.
Professional help like the therapist you mentioned will enlighten you understanding of the root cause,in knowing this you will never have to put up with dysfunctional people again.

God Bless.

 

[parsley]

we attract what we think we deserve, and I've found that to be true.
...We come to the point where we are no longer willing to accept people in our lives that will abuse us

Thanks for adding that. I spent the week rehashing conversations where I'd stood up for what was needed, and people criticized my assertion. (General life things.)

I was trying to figure out if I should have just buckled and done what they expected, (since warped rumors are now spreading). This was a good reminder to keep moving forward, and stand on principles. Thanks.

 

[MassiCo]

I don't believe this. God called us to Him for something greater. Don't dwell on this OP cause it is not true. Not when you're a child of The Most High.

 

[Sevensong]

Hi, I know it's been a while since this thread was active, but I just joined CF, partly because of the graces I received from reading through it. I struggle with this, too, and it was a huge help reading many of the responses - both the encouraging, hopeful, and lamenting. It let me know, and really feel, that I'm not alone. So thank you. I'm currently being targeted again, by a new bully, and trying to find a good counselor who can help me break out of this cycle. SO many times throughout my life, I've felt it's all hopeless, and that I'm doomed to this cursed existence because of the evil other people have done to me. Reading through this thread really gave me hope, and I know the fact that it finally got through to me was a grace from God. I'm trying to hold on and work with God's plan, though I can't see it. Sometimes, it seems like I can dimly make out some of its contours, though, and they seem to become clearer the closer I draw to Jesus and lean on Him. That's what I'm trying to do now, and I really feel He wants to heal me.

 

[now faith]

When you are a kind loving person,who is sincere in wanting to help others and do what is right,
you are a blessing to many people.

Unfortunately some people will see your gift as a weakness,and target you.

Just as your strength moves your love,you have to be strong in protecting your heart.

When our Lord sent out his Apostles to spread the good news,Jesus told them if any place will not receive you dust off your feet and go.

He said they would suffer,I'm using paraphrases here is a verse to keep in mind:

Matthew: 7. 6. Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

God Bless

 

[Sevensong]

When you are a kind loving person,who is sincere in wanting to help others and do what is right,
you are a blessing to many people.

Unfortunately some people will see your gift as a weakness,and target you.

Just as your strength moves your love,you have to be strong in protecting your heart.

When our Lord sent out his Apostles to spread the good news,Jesus told them if any place will not receive you dust off your feet and go.

He said they would suffer,I'm using paraphrases here is a verse to keep in mind:

Matthew: 7. 6. Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you.

God Bless

Thank you so much. This was exactly what I needed to hear this morning. Especially those verses - it's really uncanny, because that last one is just what someone once said to me about this issue, years ago. It had a powerful effect on me, and this was a very special person who understood what I was going through by some grace of God. I'm trying to stay close to Jesus, and to remember who I am. It's ironic, because helping people has always been one of my most passionately held values. I've wanted to work with abused and neglected kids and adult survivors since I was a teenager. I could never understand why all these people who despised my "bleeding heart," and went out of their way to hurt me, kept coming into my life. I felt like there must be something wrong with me because it didn't seem to be happening to the more tough, confident, low-key people around me. I know I need to learn to protect my heart, though, like you said, so it can keep loving and spreading God's love like it wants. Like Jesus made it to, I keep telling myself.

I've made an appointment to see a counselor next week. And I feel like I'm on the right track, listening to God's truth instead of the lies I had started to believe - namely, that I need to be tougher, harder, not so kind. I'm starting to see that it's more about choosing the right people instead of shutting everyone out. Someone like you, who really needs your help, might end up being hurt just as badly as you've been by a strategy like that. There's an ancient Christian teaching manual, called the Didache, which says "Let your gift sweat in your hand until you know to whom to give it." I think those are wise words that I'm going to have to learn to follow, instead of guilt-tripping myself about all this. I'm just praying I keep following God's leading.