aloneness :eek:

[smash_kate]

I feel this incredible aloneness nowadays because I really can't find many people in this world to hang out with that are saved (read the bible and follow it, love jesus). Even my family are not into God or reading the bible. I sometimes try to go to the fellowship meetings at my local community college and my former college, but that is only once a week for about an hour.

I just can't find any friends who are into Jesus and the bible. I don't have a boyfriend because I can't seem to find the right person in these fellowship christian clubs and even if I found one..I'd probably see him once a week. I mostly want to know more people who are into God. The only thing I can think of to meet more ppl of God is to go back to school at a Catholic College for grad school, but my grades have slipped just after I got saved which was a couple of years ago and I'm afraid I won't be accepted. Also it costs money that I don't want to spend.


I'm glad these forums help, but in terms of person to person contact...I still feel a bit lonely. Could you write something below that could make me feel less crappy? Is there a special land full of us christian die-hards that I can be with most of the time?

 

[KeilCoppes]

Is there a special land full of us christian die-hards that I can be with most of the time?

Yep - it's called "heaven", and it's all the time. :^)

Actually, it's supposed to be the church. It's very sad that the church has lost most of its salt - happily my congregation is filled with salty people, just not the single variety (of course you'd have to put up with a lot of Luther, Calvin, and St. Augustine types - they're some of my best friends)! 8^)

-kc
-----
Q. 11. How doth it appear that the Son and the Holy Ghost are God equal with the Father?
A. The Scriptures manifest that the Son and the Holy Ghost are God equal with the Father, ascribing unto them such names,[42] attributes,[43] works,[44] and worship,[45] as are proper to God only.

[42] Isaiah 6:3, 5, 8. And one cried unto another, and said, Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts: the whole earth is full of his glory.... Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.... Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me. John 12:41. These things said Esaias, when he saw his glory, and spake of him. Acts 28:25. And when they agreed not among themselves, they departed, after that Paul had spoken one word, Well spake the Holy Ghost by Esaias the prophet unto our fathers. 1 John 5:20. And we know that the Son of God is come, and hath given us an understanding, that we may know him that is true, and we are in him that is true, even in his Son Jesus Christ. This is the true God, and eternal life. Acts 5:3-4. But Peter said, Ananias, why hath Satan filled thine heart to lie to the Holy Ghost, and to keep back part of the price of the land? Whiles it remained, was it not thine own? and after it was sold, was it not in thine own power? why hast thou conceived this thing in thine heart? thou hast not lied unto men, but unto God.

 

[smash_kate]

i just read singlehood by mr.stace and i feel a lot better. I think what he said also applies to finding friends who are super-christian die-hards like myself. I got saved and God did all the work..I guess God will do all the work to make me feel like I'm not the only saved person in my neighborhood.

Yep - it's called "heaven", and it's all the time. :^)

Actually, it's supposed to be the church.

yes i'm looking forward to heaven too, thanks. my church really doesn't read the bible in depth, sorry to say.

 

[harmmony]

I know this isn't going to help very much, but you are SOOOOOOOO not alone in what you feel. I read your letter and thought I might be reading a biography on myself. I find church isn't a great place either, any friendships I formed there were just so one sided, basically me making all the effort and them happy to be friends but not really friends. I am just sick of one sided friendships. I have a couple of really great friends, but they aren't Christians, and as much as I love them, I, like you, would like someone I can talk to about the struggles, challenges and rewards of the Christian life with. I agree the forum is helpful, but you want someone to have coffee with or just hang out with. What I am doing and all I can suggest you can do is to put in your order with God for a great Christian friend, and keep on it until He comes through. I am still waiting, but still believing.

 

[OceanAngel]

I know exastly how you feel. My closest friends aint christians, and the church small group i go to, everyone is kinda more wrapped in thier own worlds to be honest.

I hope we all find the people or person we need

 

[KeilCoppes]

yes i'm looking forward to heaven too, thanks. my church really doesn't read the bible in depth, sorry to say.

I'd like to be very gentle in this - one of my older friends once studied to be a Servite priest as he wanted to know about the bible. They taught him about praying and performing the mass, but very little about the bible. It wasn't until he came to the protestants that he really started to learn. Today he is a reformed presbyterian elder and practically my adopted uncle.

 

[Saxman]

Hi smash-kate. Don't give up! THere are Christians around but it does take effort and a bit of luck to find them. If your Church does not meet your needs change church, even if it necessitates a long drive. As a kid my parents sent me to a Scottish Church which had an average age of 80 and very little tuition and guidance for kids. Very laissez faire attitude

Little did I know that the other Church in my neighborhood was an extremely dynamic Church full of young people with an active Sunday School. I have started attended that when I am home but I am light years away from them in terms of my faith.

So my advice would be to try different churches, go to different functions, and you will know when you hit gold and find a vibrant church community.

 

[Walk in Faith]

smash kate,

.. i feel you.

 

[joyful12]

I know exastly how you feel. My closest friends aint christians, and the church small group i go to, everyone is kinda more wrapped in thier own worlds to be honest.

I hope we all find the people or person we need

i agreed with that too.. sometimes i feel uncomfortable with my christian friends..coz they are too good for people like me.
So I will rather hang out with my non christian friend.

 

[charligirl]

Hi smash-kate. Don't give up! THere are Christians around but it does take effort and a bit of luck to find them. If your Church does not meet your needs change church, even if it necessitates a long drive. As a kid my parents sent me to a Scottish Church which had an average age of 80 and very little tuition and guidance for kids. Very laissez faire attitude

Little did I know that the other Church in my neighborhood was an extremely dynamic Church full of young people with an active Sunday School. I have started attended that when I am home but I am light years away from them in terms of my faith.

So my advice would be to try different churches, go to different functions, and you will know when you hit gold and find a vibrant church community.

Just was I was going to say, find a church that has love and fellowship at it's core, and that has good teaching as well. We are meant to have fellowship with other believers, it's hard on our own.

 

[beautyinthelord]

TO everyone and anyone:
Just thought I'd write a little something. It's late into the night and once again I wake and alone. Seems like the begining of the day was great but night has fallen and yet I am alone. In my heart I know christ is with me and surrounding me but how can I shake these feelings? I've asked the Lord, in prayer, to help me not desire a husband but to help me desire to be holy for Him but no matter what I always feel selfish because throughout the day I end up thinking "If only I could share life with someone, I just know it would be great!" But still no-one. I guess it wouldn't be that big of a deal except that I am almost 30 years old and I often wonder if I did the right thing in not getting married when I had the chance. I know the Lord has something in store for me and Ijust must be patient. So bear with me, I just wanted to get this off my chest! Thanks.
"Death and destruction are never satisfied, and neither are the eyes of man" Lord give me your everlasting living water to satisfy me. You and only you.

Praise God for His everlasting love!

 

[KeilCoppes]

Just thought I'd write a little something. It's late into the night and once again I wake and alone. Seems like the begining of the day was great but night has fallen and yet I am alone. ....I am almost 30 years old and I often wonder if I did the right thing in not getting married when I had the chance. ... So bear with me, I just wanted to get this off my chest! Thanks.

First, know that you're not the only one that pitches thoughts into the void and that struggles. And if you're struggling with thirty, there are those that turn 36 this year - down the road to dusky death? Not! It will still be very challenging, though, perhaps more challenging than any before.

It's critical to be in fellowship and growing, though. It doesn't solve everything, instantly, but to go to renewed awe of God's sovereign greatness, and humility in how insignificant and unrighteous we are compared to His great power and holiness .... it's amazing how your perspective on your situation changes.

ps - besides, the alternative could well be to wake up on your proposal anniversery tomorrow and still be alone because of divorce or abandonment, like someone I know. God is also great in what He preserves us from.

 

[beautyinthelord]

First, know that you're not the only one that pitches thoughts into the void and that struggles. And if you're struggling with thirty, there are those that turn 36 this year - down the road to dusky death? Not! It will still be very challenging, though, perhaps more challenging than any before.

I guess you are right! Sometimes it's just a tad bit harder and more challening then the day/night before. You know what I mean? Does the feeling of lonilness ever leave us, even though we are still alone? I have prayed about this seems like daily but I never get to far before I am back in square one. Is it any different for men? I know that for women turning 30 and being single without a trace of an interest it gets to be kinda scary. I start to think to myself I haven't a husband and what about want to have a baby? I want to be a mother. When the going gets tough I need to just go back to the source of it all God! I ask him to let me accept His will and not mine. Then often God brings to mind many of my friends who are married and reminds me of who even they who are married are even more alone than I am because of their lack of communication. And I often think to myself, yeah but I would do things different and not be like them, when in reality God is truely just looking out for the best in my interest.
So my question to you all, How do I get there? How do I stop from yearning that? Anybody? Anything would help. How do I stop focusing on that issue? I want to give it all up to God and never thrist after that until God opens that door for me.
Thanks again everyone for listening. I think I'll pray and God and give Him the Thanks and glory of everything, regardless of hoe I feel! Praise God!
God bless all.

 

[KeilCoppes]

How do I get there? How do I stop from yearning that? Anybody? Anything would help. How do I stop focusing on that issue? I want to give it all up to God and never thrist after that until God opens that door for me.
Thanks again everyone for listening. I think I'll pray and God and give Him the Thanks and glory of everything, regardless of hoe I feel! Praise God!
God bless all.

Beauty,
You said - "this is what I want".
You said that God hasn't provided it.

But you have the right answer - actively submitting to God's ultimate will while being obedient to what He says in scripture. And if you are a Christian, the Holy Spirit is in you to comfort you and empower you in your walk. Your intention to pray is one of the right actions - it's when we realize we've been unconsciously struggling against God and instead go to Him for help that He helps our feelings and lifts us out.
The final pieces, not surprisingly, are the word of God, and fellowship. We need to know how great God is and how He would have us live, and God has put us together in the church so that we can love and support one another and help to hold and be held accountable.

You have a right and great answer - "pray to God and give Him the thanks and glory of everything regardless". Add the word and hearing again of His greatness in His worship and in daily reading of the word and books on the subject. Then, as you start to glory in who He is and what He has done, your spirits start to rise. As you hear of His greatness and sovereignty, hope rises, and as you hear of His perfection and love, trust comes into play for blessing whether ever married or not. As you fellowship with other faithful Christians and help carry their burdens as they carry yours, you know being part of the body of Christ.

Not surprising - the means of grace include, the word of God, prayer, the sacraments, and some add fellowship. :^)

An awesome quote from a book I'm reading - The author is a pastor and experienced Christian counselor:

Finally, Paul assures us that together with the test God will send a way of escape in order to help endure it. Jean said, "I _can't_ go on; I _can't_ take it any longer - I'm in a box and I _can't_ get out." It is true that her problems were difficult ones. Jean was married to an irresponsible husband whose work brought very little money. She didn't have a car, a TV, a washer and dryer, or even a vacuum cleaner. But they were Christians and she knew she couldn't leave him. .... Jean needed to understand that God provides "a way of escape" with every trial; Christians are _never_ in a box. God can make the walls of the box fall flat like the walls of Jericho; he can open the lid and reach down with his mighty hand and support one through the test; or he can make the bottom fall out. Whatever way of escape God may provide - even the best issue of all (to take us to himself) - we may trust that the way out will come _as surely as the problem itself_. Knowing that there will be a way out, an end to the problem, is itself reassuring. One can endure anything if he knows that it has an end. Thus, by a threefold cord, which is not easily broken, God assures us we _can_ meet life's problems. We can't say "can't," when God says we can."

- Competent to Counsel, Jay Adams, p134-135.​

When I read that this evening, it was like a breath of fresh air! Amen, go to the Lord!

Of course, we need to remember, that while in Christ we can solve every problem, we must be careful to solve them _in_ Christ, in obedience - "Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall" 1Cor 10:12. Hope it helps! :^)

- with open door, but never so much as our sovereign Lord,
Keil