Why do I have to pay alimony if she's an adulterer. I thought that it would disqualify her from me supporting her if she was openly having and affair. I had proof of it on my computer but she destroyed the memory on it..however I've spoken to the man in question several times and she's thrown it in my face but lies to the court. what should i do ? if anything?
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Alimony and a cheater
- Thread starter fields316_2000
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You pay alimoney if you bring home the bacon. She can have sex with whoever she wants to but unless she remarries you keep paying per the judge's verdict.
Law and morality are not the same.
Law and morality are not the same.
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dorig59
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- May 18, 2008
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For the most part, the court does not care diddly squat about adultery or anything like that. They look at only the cold, hard facts of who's working, who has the kids, that type of thing. When I was getting divorced, my lawyer said to me that the judge wouldn't care if the ex-spouse was sitting in the courtroom making out with their new lover. Has no bearing on anything, unfortunately.
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SmileAndAHandshake
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Sorry bud, you got married for better or for worse. And this is the worse.
The don't care who cheated or why the marriage broke up, only about who makes the money, who has the children, and that kinda thing.
When you married her, your income became "our income", and when you get divorced, that doesn't really change, at least not right away. Over time the situation can (and should) be re-evaluated over time, I know here they can only award you spousal support for x-number of months (like 6 months) and then they re-evaluate to see how that person is doing and if they can support themselves.. not sure how it works in the US though.
Either way, I'd settle in for the long haul.
The don't care who cheated or why the marriage broke up, only about who makes the money, who has the children, and that kinda thing.
When you married her, your income became "our income", and when you get divorced, that doesn't really change, at least not right away. Over time the situation can (and should) be re-evaluated over time, I know here they can only award you spousal support for x-number of months (like 6 months) and then they re-evaluate to see how that person is doing and if they can support themselves.. not sure how it works in the US though.
Either way, I'd settle in for the long haul.
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b.hopeful
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Alimony is not a reward for being a good wife or person. Alimony is supposed to make up for the inequity that comes from being a non-working spouse/parent. If you made the agreement that she would not work or work very little for the benefit of the family...then she gave up a lot of future benefits...like career building and work history. When the marriage dissolves...I believe she's entitled to a bit of fairness on the financial end and not just the shaft. It's a gamble spouses take when they decide they want someone home with the kids.
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chaz345
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In principle I'd basically agree IF it were treated in a much more gender neutral way. The reality is that even when both spouses make pretty much the same money, the courts still often award alimony(separate from child support) to the woman. The laws and practices surrounding divorce and support payments are still operating as if the stay at home mom who completely sacrifices building job skills is the norm. It just really isn't that way anymore though.
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Alimony is to allow the wife to get back on her feet. It is not a long term thing, at least not here, whereas child support is until they are 18.
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ProAntiRevolution
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Fault does play a large role in alimony decisions, and yes, if you have proof of adultry regardless of other circumstances she is unlikely to win alimony.
That said, in the United States family courts have embraced the prinicipal of "alimony as career rehab." It's intended as a short term solution while one spouse gets back on their feet. It only applies to long term marriages, usually defined as 10 years or more, and is generally limited to six months of alimony per year of marriage.
The best defense against alimony is simply to refuse to let your spouse stop working. If that isn't the case taking a hard ball approach in divorce settlements might put her off asking. Should she win alimony I would suggest filing for modifications on a consistant basis. After being drug into court over and over she may lose her taste for the free money.
That said, in the United States family courts have embraced the prinicipal of "alimony as career rehab." It's intended as a short term solution while one spouse gets back on their feet. It only applies to long term marriages, usually defined as 10 years or more, and is generally limited to six months of alimony per year of marriage.
The best defense against alimony is simply to refuse to let your spouse stop working. If that isn't the case taking a hard ball approach in divorce settlements might put her off asking. Should she win alimony I would suggest filing for modifications on a consistant basis. After being drug into court over and over she may lose her taste for the free money.
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