Humo, if you don't mind I'd like to talk a bit more about some of the things you mentioned:
You have resolved that with the belief that there are two kinds of God's grace. I don't see scriptural support for that personally.
This is an excellent point and gets really close to the heart of the matter, maybe another thread is best? Either way, let me throw one passage at you that comes to mind:
1Co 1:22-31
(22) For Jews demand signs and Greeks seek wisdom,
(23) but we preach Christ crucified, a stumbling block to Jews and folly to Gentiles,
(24) but to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.
Now notice. Christ is a stumbling block and foolishness to men, in an all inclusive sense, I'm guessing, because of the way Peter worded it. "Jews and Gentiles, aka all men, find Christ as folly and a stumbling block"
But, Peter says,
to those who are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ is (no longer a stumbling block and folly, but rather), is the power and wisdom of God.
It seems to me that there is a calling that
results in Christ not being folly or a stumbling block, but instead, it results int hem finding Christ the wisdom and power of God.
Then, Peter goes on to explain to his listeners, "consider
your calling". Ponder it. Take a look around in your church. Not many wise or noble or strong were called. But God chose what is weak, despised, and base.
Why?
So that no human can boast in God's presence.
(25) For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.
(26) For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth.
(27) But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong;
(28) God chose what is low and despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are,
(29) so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.
(30) And because of him you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God, righteousness and sanctification and redemption,
(31) so that, as it is written, "Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord."
Hupo, what kind of calling is Peter talking about? The general call that goes out to all men whereby God commands them to repent? It cannot be, based on the above.
This calling results in something. Then, Peter says "consider your own calling". God called you
in this particular way (He choosing you, rather than you choosing him), so that you cannot take credit for your salvation.
So I know it is not the general, universal call Peter is talking about.
And I know that this calling was done in a certain way so that I cannot boast in my salvation. I cant' take any credit for it. Brother, let me ask you, if the weak and the foolish chose God (ultimately), how does that remove human boasting? If the weak and the foolish chose God, this passage doesn't make any sense. Imagine Peter's argument:
"Consider that you chose God. You were weak and foolish and despised, and you chose God. God set it up this way so that you cannot take credit for your salvation. Not many weak and foolish people chose God, but you did. God did it this way to shame the strong and the wise."
I hope this makes sense, I just ate lunch so I'm a little tired

There's no possible way this passage is talking about anything other than a special calling, whereby God chooses you, and it effectually results in your salvation, and that God did it that way to remove grounds of boasting or taking credit for your salvation.
it is possible that a generation growing up with the ethic "I am entitled" would be quick to embrace a theology that says you are special and have been selected, and what's even better: you have to do absolutely nothing in response from yourself, "no participation" in the salvation process, as another person worded it. Election is true and scriptural regardless, but it is possible for people to adopt these doctrines for fleshly reasons just as easily as the doctrine of working my way.
The part in bold got my attention. But that is not what Calvinists believe is it? We believe in unconditional election.
The "un-" is the important part. There are no conditions, in you, that God considered when He chose you. He chose you, not because of qualities about yourself, but because he wanted his own grace and mercy to be displayed.
Therefore, it is literally impossible to feel "special" for being chosen and saved by God, because
nothing in the person was a factor in God choosing them. Nothing. It is humbling to be chosen because God is merciful and you deserve hell but God decided to have mercy on you.
It is prideful to think you are chosen for a reason in yourself. Because you're better or more special, or more spiritual, or more humble, or you somehow broke the shackles of the corruption of sin and became willing to embrace Christ, because you're just a strong person, and you can really see the truth of the gospel when others either cannot or are unwilling.
But that's starting to sound like Arminianism isn't it? That's starting to sound like
conditional election. That's what Arminians believe.
Calvinists believe in
UNconditional election. There are no conditions for being elected.
It is completely and totally free and unmerited. That's the very definition of grace!
I don't believe the saints are predestined to persevere in victory over sin because of the verse you mentioned, but I do believe they cannot turn away from to the extent of disowning Him
Bro, as the synod of dordt worded it: election is
unto faith and obedience (not because of it)
In other words, it's the same as what Paul said: We are chosen and saved
in order to do the good works that God predestined us to do. He prepared them beforehand that we should walk in them:
Eph 2:8-10
(8) For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,
(9) not a result of works, so that no one may boast.
(10) For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works,
which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.
He chose us i
n order that we should be holy, not because we were holy:
ph 1:4 even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world,
that we should be holy and blameless before him.
So again, it is impossible to be one of God's elect and yet somehow not participate in or experience the facets of salvation: faith, good works, obedience, etc.
Be blessed