Age gaps between kids.

[murron]

How many parents have an age gap between their kids? I don't mean one or two years, but 5, 10 or even more?

What were some of the benefits of the age gap? Draw backs?

I have a 12 year gap between my oldest and youngest, and a 10 year gap between the middle and youngest. oldest is a few weeks shy of 16, middle child will be 14 in May and the youngest just turned 4 in August.

One of the benefits was that my older kids get to see exactly how hard it is to raise a child - my daughter has repeatedly informed me that she is never having kids, lol. Also having an older child(ren) means that I can actually take a shower and get a few "me minutes" once in a while without having to worry about the wee one.
Drawbacks...I thought I was done having kids, had no baby stuff at all left...and, let me tell you that lost sleep with a newborn was a whole lot harder on me the last time around than when I was in my early 20's.

It's funny because my best friend (who happens to be my sister in law) has three kids, all girls, 6, 5 and almost 2...I watch her kids and am very thankful that I spaced mine out a bit more, lol. I don't know how she keeps up with three of them at those ages. She amazes me; I'd be a basket case (yes, I am one of those really paranoid parents who freaks out when my son leaps off the couch or hops on his older brother's skateboard).

 

[~ Gig ~]

I've only got one daughter. However, I have 2 sisters one is 14 mths younger then me- we're close. However, our younger sister is 5 yrs. younger and when we were kids we HATED for her to be around, now that we're older we don't mind.

 

[suzybeezy]

My two older children are 15 and 11. I thought at the time it was a good idea to space them four years apart. I now think that is not such a good idea. They are not close at all. Too much of an age gap. My younger children are 4 and 3. They are very close. Given the chance to do it all over again, I'd have all of them closer together. Now it is good to have the older ones help out with the younger ones and the eldest is old enough to babysit, which comes in handy. But closer ages is definately better.

 

[selune]

between oldest and youngest--about 9 years ages are 10, almost 7, 4 1/2 and 18 mo. so ther are about 3 yr gaps between consecutive kids. My brother and I had a 7 yr gap between us, but he was really good about including me in his life. We're still close.

 

[Trisa]

My kids are 7 1/2 years apart.
Didn't plan it that way.
They are close but the bad thing is that when my
son is a few years aloder im sure he won't want to spend all that
much time with his sister. He will be 11 next month, she is 3 1/2
Yes it does make it nice when you have something you want to do
around the house. He is a big help to me!

 

[kingzjewel]

there is an unintentional gap between us all: me 24, 6 yrs later comes my little sis who is 18, then two more years after comes my baby sis who is 16. it was a long time before i became friends with my baby sis. me and my lil sis were always closer, now it the other way around. i talk to my baby sis all the time! lil sis is trying to find her own life. i say unintentional b/c my mother never planned to have 3 kids, but we were all welcomed

 

[PegasusOnFire]

well between me and my sister there is 2 minutes. So no age gap there. I would like to have all my children before I am 35, so there most likely won't be more than a couple years between children. I am 23 now and expecting my first full-term baby.

 

[faith177]

I have 13yr old boy and a five year old girl, and they are driving me up the wall. The first two years were great it was such a help. Now its fighting every morning, who gets what chair, what spoon ect....

 

[selune]

Well, that's not due to the age gap, that's due to the fact that they're siblings! We have that between 3 out of the 4 (the 4th is 18 months, he's got to practice).

 

[Chrystal-J]

My friend and her sister are 20 years apart! (Full sisters too!) My friend was a change-of-life baby--and was quite a surprise to her parents! Obviously, she and her sister were not really close because her sister had already moved out by the time my friend was born. It was more like an Aunt/Niece relationship. But, there is no guarantee that if they had been born closer together that they would have gotten along because they had *totally* different personalities anyway. In my family, most of the siblings were close in age--but, not that close as far as being "friends". They, like my friend and her sister, just had very different personalities and didn't see "eye to eye" on very many things. (I was the youngest and there was a 3 1/2 year gap between me and my next oldest sibling.) Most of my siblings were much older. I mostly remember them arguing with each other and a lot of tension around the house. So, there is no guarantee that siblings will get along--whether they are close in age or not. I have known some who were close to siblings who were much older or younger--and I have known some who argued non-stop with siblings who very close in age. I think it just depends on each person's personality and/or how they are raised (to respect and love one another).
Take Care All!
Chrystal

 

[Zoomer]

I am the opposite. I have children that are spaced close together. They are 15 months apart. We do plan on having another but my youngest is going to be 5 before we try. If I had the room and the money, I would have loved to have had them closed together. I just hope that when we do have a third, it doesn't feel lonely or left out since it would be so much younger.

 

[tonya]

I am 31...my brother is 24...my sister is 13!!! So we are all spaced. We all get along well...When we were younger my bro and I were close..then as I became a teen-ager..I totally DID not want him around...Now we are close again..my sister and I are close...BUT I have always felt more like a mother to her...I was 18 when she was born and have helped ALOT with her raising...I have one child and she is 2.

 

[mamaneenie]

I am the opposite. I have children that are spaced close together. They are 15 months apart. We do plan on having another but my youngest is going to be 5 before we try. If I had the room and the money, I would have loved to have had them closed together. I just hope that when we do have a third, it doesn't feel lonely or left out since it would be so much younger.

I think you find it will be alright. I have 4 brothers, Me and the first 3 brothers were born in a space of 6 years. The 4th brother was born 5 years after the 3rd. I think he is fine. I remember that he was usually included in most of the games we played growing up. In fact it is me who grew up a little lonely because I was the only girl among all those boys.

 

[faith renewal]

Well, my oldest brother is 28 and my little sister is 4. I was 14 when my mom had twins, and then 18 when my sister was born. I really liked having the other kids be so much younger than me. I got really connect with them, and I learned so much about having kids. It was a really great learning experience for me. I know my oldest brother has often felt like he was left out of the younger kids' lives since he was out of the house before my mom was even pregnant with the twins.

 

[AmposGirl]

Well, I have a half sister who is ... well, i actually dont know how old she is now, But we are a few years apart. Okay, let me just explain, My dad had a baby with this woman he was with for a while, I guess i was in 5th grade or something like that. After the baby was born, The woman got killed in a car wreck. When she died, The babies grandmother took her and moved away, so I haven't seen her in a very long time. So, basically I am an only child. So, the only thing I ever wanted for myself when I had kids was to have more than one. I hated being alone all my childhood and hate it even more now that I am an adult. SO, I dont really care how far apart they are, as long as I have more than one. My daugter is 3 now, so there will definitly be a gap, Just dont know how big of one... LOOOOOOL

 

[AndOne]

Currently we have two boys - ages 7 and 11 - but my wife is pregnant with our third child (a girl) which will put a very large gap between her and our youngest boy. When our girl is born our youngest boy will be 8 - so that is an eight year gap! Not sure what the boys are gonna be like when the baby gets her - but they are very protective and loving of their mom right now. We have been including them in all aspects of the pregnancy - taking them to see the sonograms, etc. They also love to feel the baby kicking and moving in Mom's belly. Its really quite a trip for them! We are thinking about bringing them in for the actual birth - but haven't decided for sure yet. If they do come in we will position them behind their mom - so they don't have a frontal view - but we're not sure if they'll be able to handle seeing their mom in a lot of pain.

As a side to this. My wife is in her mid thirties and she can see a very big difference between this pregnancy and when she was in her twenties and pregnant. She has said she doesn't know how these women you see on TV - who are in their 50s and pregnant - do it.

 

[blessedmo3]

How many parents have an age gap between their kids? I don't mean one or two years, but 5, 10 or even more?

What were some of the benefits of the age gap? Draw backs?

I have a 12 year gap between my oldest and youngest, and a 10 year gap between the middle and youngest. oldest is a few weeks shy of 16, middle child will be 14 in May and the youngest just turned 4 in August.

One of the benefits was that my older kids get to see exactly how hard it is to raise a child - my daughter has repeatedly informed me that she is never having kids, lol. Also having an older child(ren) means that I can actually take a shower and get a few "me minutes" once in a while without having to worry about the wee one.
Drawbacks...I thought I was done having kids, had no baby stuff at all left...and, let me tell you that lost sleep with a newborn was a whole lot harder on me the last time around than when I was in my early 20's.

It's funny because my best friend (who happens to be my sister in law) has three kids, all girls, 6, 5 and almost 2...I watch her kids and am very thankful that I spaced mine out a bit more, lol. I don't know how she keeps up with three of them at those ages. She amazes me; I'd be a basket case (yes, I am one of those really paranoid parents who freaks out when my son leaps off the couch or hops on his older brother's skateboard).

The gap between my kids is 11 years. I have a 16 year old son from my first marriage and a 5 year old son and 3 year old daughter. The "built in babysitter" is only workable if your older child is responsible and the little ones will actually repect their authority in your absence. I have come home from a movie date with my husband to find my three year old sacked out in front of the tv completely naked. The response from my 16 year old son "She was impossible tonight and I just gave up trying to get her to put her jammies on". Well after several episodes like this, my husband and I now go to the late shows after the little ones have gone to bed. So all he has to do is make sure the house doesnt burn down lol.

As far as positive things about the age difference, I do believe that my older son will have a better idea about nuturing his own children. And also, having to deal with crying babies and dirty diapers has encouraged him to realize that celibacy is the only birth control that is appropriate until marriage. My son has stated this more than once to me and his girlfriend's family!

For the little ones, they really have three older people to admire and rely on. The younger boy wants to be just like his big brother, playing basketball, video games, driving, etc. The other day my five year old proposed to my 16 year olds girlfriend LOL. They also have someone who can "play" with them beside the parents, which in our case we are both in our mid 40's and can't always keep up in some of the high stamina play that 3 and 5 years love.

Children are God's blessings for us, enjoy!

 

[Cello]

How many parents have an age gap between their kids? I don't mean one or two years, but 5, 10 or even more?

What were some of the benefits of the age gap? Draw backs?

There are 13 years between my 2. My daughter is 16 1/2 and my son is 3 1/2. Pretty much all I see are the pros..LOL, but I tend to be a very positive person!

The one drawback that I can see is that my dd may move out when she's 18 to go to college or some other endeavor....and that just might break my little boys heart! I truly can't imagine. He'll begin kindergarten when she begins college so that may redirect his attention somewhat...but still, I think that will be hard and I am hoping she doesn't go too far away and they can see each other often.

Hmm, what else. They have a great time together! I got a nice break, ohhh, one thing I see in my personal situation which is great, is that I see what I did 'wrong' with her now that she is the age she is...not that every kid is the same, but clearly there are things I could have done different - should have done different. So he is getting a better 'parent' because of her. I know more now. Further along in my parenting and further along in my relationship with God.

One thing I notice and someone else said it -- they DO still 'fight' -- she teases him sometimes and he is beginning to know how to 'get' to her...so they still do have their moments...but I could not imagine raising kids real close together, I think it would have pushed me right over the edge!

God knows my limits I think. ;-)

 

[Gwenyfur]

Well I'm an only child so I don't have sibling stories to share....my children are 10 years apart...
they are right now 6 and 16...though my youngest is turning 7 next week.

I can say my oldest was a *TON* of help when my youngest was born. She's also gotten to see first hand how very little sleep you get in the beginning and what it feels like to worry.

We had a threatening bout with her in the beginning. My oldest would rush home from school in a panic that something had happened to her little sister.

For the most part they get along pretty well, they have their moments where they aren't as loving as one would hope (I've wanted to pull my hair out some days LOL) but for the most part...it's all good.

My oldest is my Birth Control baby...I didn't know then what I know now...
My youngest is my miracle...I was "supposedly" sterile...God's Good!

 

[murron]

Well I'm an only child so I don't have sibling stories to share....my children are 10 years apart...
they are right now 6 and 16...though my youngest is turning 7 next week.

I can say my oldest was a *TON* of help when my youngest was born. She's also gotten to see first hand how very little sleep you get in the beginning and what it feels like to worry.

We had a threatening bout with her in the beginning. My oldest would rush home from school in a panic that something had happened to her little sister.

For the most part they get along pretty well, they have their moments where they aren't as loving as one would hope (I've wanted to pull my hair out some days LOL) but for the most part...it's all good.

My oldest is my Birth Control baby...I didn't know then what I know now...
My youngest is my miracle...I was "supposedly" sterile...God's Good!

do you find it as odd as I do that we had our kids in such close situations, age wise and named our oldest girls something so similar even though we lost touch for years? I sure do, rofl. (note to any who don't know this: Gweny and I have known each other for 20+ years IRL.)

I think my oldest definitely does better with the 4 year old. The middle child doesn't do so well and I'm not sure if that's because they are both boys or that the 13 year old is a boy and would have problems with any sibling so much younger...or, if they just aren't meant to get along. Either way, my oldest has definitely been a major help for me and both of my teenagers get to see firsthand what is involved in raising a child.