Against the "unequally yoked" argument

[togekiss]

....

 

[Dave-W]

The bible talks about being unequally yoked with a non-believer, but what if the non-believer is equally yoked with you in all other respects outside of religion?
ie - you have a lot in common, you have the best conversations, you make each other happy, you love and support each other, you work to make each other better people, you don't try to change each other for having different beliefs, you love and accept each other for your differences as well as your similarities, you don't pressure each other to sway beliefs.

Is two people being of different faith but having amazing chemistry (and respect for each other) not enough?

No it is NOT enough. It tells me the Christian in the relationship is not adhering to the "Greatest Commandment" which is also the greatest command in Judaism:

"You shall love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all of your mind and with all of your strength." Deut 6.5 quoted in Mark 12.30 and Matt 22.37.

Wanting to put aside the prohibition of being unequally yoked is NOT putting God first in their lives.

 

[togekiss]

Why does your personal details say you are a Christian?

I am baptised, have been most of my life. And I was considering re-committing when I made the account. At this point, I do not know how to change it on here. Do you?

 

[rockytopva]

I am baptised, have been most of my life. And I was considering re-committing when I made the account. At this point, I do not know how to change it on here. Do you?

Here is a story of old Smith Wigglesworth, who started out struggling and as a plumber. He and his wife Polly would work together to put together one wonderful ministry... As simple everyday people!

 

[Faith Alone 1 Cor 15:1-4]

Jesus said bless them that curse you , and love everybody , even if i don't like that guy i still won't be cursing at him , i will present him the gospel but if he choose not to then it's his own decision .

 

[togekiss]

Concerning Married Life

12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (1 Cor. 7:12-14)

 

[Handmaid for Jesus]

It seems to me, by your post, that you have already decided that Jesus is not and will not be your truth. That is ok if that is the way you are going to take. But, if your boyfriend believes what the Bible says is truth,that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life, you are going to be disappointed because marriage is two becoming one flesh. Just think about it. Right now you are boyfriend and girlfriend, and you think all is good. But if you marry there will be problems. A house divided cannot stand.

 

[togekiss]

---

 

[togekiss]

Very true - for someone who was already married BEFORE coming to faith; and then converts afterward.

They are not married yet.

Where does it specify that they came to faith after being married? I must have missed that part. There is so much to read in there. Thank you.

 

[Handmaid for Jesus]

I don't see how the house would be divided. Please explain.

You an unbeliever and he a believer is the division. It will cause problems. You think it won't because you want what you want. But it is good you are seeking advice.

It is true, Jesus/God will not be my Truth, but it is his and I accept that. I do not judge and I do not try to sway his opinion, just as he does not try to sway mine. I get the same morals, but without a deity dictating them. I go to church with him, and I would bring our children as well. I would not force my children to believe, just as I would not force them to not believe. The choice would be theirs but they would grow up knowing the church.

Lord Jesus is what you and he absolutely need to be on the same page about as to not confuse the children.

 

[togekiss]

Thank you for all of the advice.

 

[rockytopva]

My worries here are in the changes. If you are not totally for sure hearts are bound to change. And changed hearts can lead to unhappy outcomes.

She said, baby things change
I said, but I feel the same
She said, well let me explain
Baby, how things can change
I said, but that doesn't show
How a love that could grow
Would become so strange
She said, well baby, things change
She said, Na, na, na, na, na
Now, now, now baby, don't try
To figure this out
Or ask questions 'bout why
Forever's a promise
No love can survive
And trust with hearts
Just don't apply
She said,
'Cause baby, things change

 

[DawnStar]

I meant to include this before.
Concerning Married Life
12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. (1 Cor. 7:12-14)




The bible talks about being unequally yoked with a non-believer, but what if the non-believer is equally yoked with you in all other respects outside of religion?
ie - you have a lot in common, you have the best conversations, you make each other happy, you love and support each other, you work to make each other better people, you don't try to change each other for having different beliefs, you love and accept each other for your differences as well as your similarities, you don't pressure each other to sway beliefs.

Is two people being of different faith but having amazing chemistry (and respect for each other) not enough? Is it really better to be with someone you have less chemistry with simply because of shared beliefs? Is faith alone really enough to sustain a healthy relationship?

My boyfriend is Christian and goes to church regularly on Sundays. I am the non-believer and since we have started dating I go to church with him on the weeknight service, which he never used to go to before me. I work on Sundays so can't come but have a genuine interest in going if I ever get the day off. This week, I will be going to a service without him because he is working and I want to go still. I have been coming to him with all sorts of questions from things I've been reading in the Bible as well as forums. That said, I do not plan on converting. It's not that I do not believe in a creator. I just don't believe that the Bible is the only Truth. I believe that it is one interpretation of a truth. I have a problem with the way the Bible has been translated, re-written, edited, re-edited so many times over the last thousands of years. I believe that even if the Bible was once the word of God, it has lost much of it's original meaning in all the translations and editing. I view the Bible more as book of stories about how to live a good life and be a good person. I do not pressure him to believe what I believe and he does not pressure me to believe what he does. We respect each others differences. We compromise. I want him to sleep over, he wants to but knows he shouldn't because of his faith. So I accept this about him and wait patiently for the day we might marry. But I want to make sure that I'm good for him despite not believing in God as the one and only Truth. I see God a possible truth, but I do not, and don't think I will ever see Him as an absolute Truth. Since I do not have any specific religion, I would have no issues raising children Christian. I love the church community and would want my children to grow up around and that goodness. I don't believe in God, but I still see value in the church and I appreciate and respect the morals it teaches.

On a positive note it CAN work as long as both spouses respect each others differences. My mother and father have been married for over 30 years and still going strong. He has always been a believer and she is agnostic. He respected her beliefs by not constantly trying to evangelize her. Neither did he walk around the house saying PRAISE THE LORD or AMEN or such things like he was in a worship service. She respected him by not belittling his beliefs and even went to church every so often. As children we were allowed to go to church and hear the gospel and decide for ourselves. EVERY marriage has its problems and there are many equally yoked marriages that also fall apart or are miserable.

 

[Conker]

My mom married my dad (No duh) and well he's not of the same belief, and even though he's a nice guy, It would have been a lot better if he was, for not only me but the family. I've tried talking to him about Christianity, but he just thinks I'm delusional.