After a tragedy, I'm experiencing doubts

[The Language Guy]

Hello everyone,

I'm a 23-year-old high school Spanish teacher. My whole life, I've been a deep thinker. I remember back to when I was 8ish in Sunday school (I'm Catholic), learning that heaven was eternal and trying to wrap my mind around that while my classmates were watching the clock, counting down the moments until they could go play outside. My strong faith always followed me my entire life. Although I didn't regularly go to church (which was a mistake in retrospect), I would frequently pray, and my faith was strong. I would ask myself what Jesus would do in certain situations, and I consider myself to be a good person. Even after the death of my grandpa, who I was really close to, my faith in Jesus never wavered, and I was sure that death wasn't truly the end to a soul.

About a month ago, there was a tragedy where I work, and two students were killed by their father. One of these girls was a student who would frequently come in to me for help (both with Spanish and for life advice). Needless to say, I was absolutely crushed. To add fuel to the fire, within the same week, another student from my school was found dead in his car from carbon monoxide poisoning, and my uncle passed away. There was a LOT of death happening in a short period of time. However, I was always able to tell myself they were in a better place, and that they were being looked after by God up in heaven, and that got me through it.

Then, about a week and a half ago, seemingly out of nowhere, these feelings of doubt and fear started filling my mind. Thoughts and ideas that I was able to shrug off in the past that discredited the existence of God started flooding me, and I started believing them. Ever since then, I've been fluctuating between definitively believing in God to doubting everything, and I'm emotionally exhausted. I've been asking for advice from my coworkers with strong faith about what to do, I've been reading the bible before bed, I've been listening to K-Love, I've been regularly praying, and I've made a commitment to attend church regularly. I also think of all of the unexplainable things I've observed in life and how miraculous everything in the world is. However, through all of this, I'm still having the feelings of doubt fill my mind, and I don't know how to get rid of them. I'm now thinking of death constantly, which isn't something a 23-year-old should be worried about.

I'm going to talk to a counselor tomorrow, and while that may give me coping strategies on how to get my mind off of death, I know I need more. I need advice on how to reconnect with Jesus and the Holy Spirit and to live my life without doubting my faith to truly be happy again. Do you have any tips for me?

Thank you so much! Sorry for the long post. I just have a lot on my mind...

 

[RaymondG]

What is it that you have faith in and lose faith in? Is it faith that there is a man in the sky looking out for people who pass.....And then you start thinking it isn't true anymore? And when you have these doubts what do you think it is that brings them on?

 

[The Language Guy]

What is it that you have faith in and lose faith in? Is it faith that there is a man in the sky looking out for people who pass.....And then you start thinking it isn't true anymore? And when you have these doubts what do you think it is that brings them on?

What I have always believed is that the creator of the universe (God) sent down his son, Jesus, to free us from sin, grant us eternal life, and to guide humanity in the right direction. After we pass, our soul is reconnected with Him in heaven. I have always believed that God intervenes in our lives in secret and subtle ways. He has always been so much more than a man in the sky to me; he has been an important role model, friend, and guardian, and I want to get back to that relationship with Him.

The doubts I feel like are coming out of worry for my student and for the others who passed. I want them to be okay more than anything. Even though now it seems like the doubts are just pouring out from everywhere, I feel like they are stemming from my worries that they, or anyone, is truly saved.

 

[Unashamed_one16]

Hey the language guy,
Let me start off by saying that I'm sorry for your loss. It is always painful to experience the loss of a loved one and for that, you have my deepest condolences.
Let me also commend you on your faith. Yes...your faith. You see, doubts are going to come in life. It's a natural part of our walk with God. You can see this all throughout the Bible. When Gideon in Judges 6 through 8, is called to be the deliverer of Israel and told he is to conquer Israel's enemies the Midianites, he doubts that he is actually being called, even though he has been faithful to God for his entire life. You see what you have chosen to do when faced with doubt is to continue going to church, reading your Bible, praying, and seeking help from those who might know more about what you're going through. So you, despite your doubts, are continuing to trust God instead of forsaking Him. Good job brother!
Now to address these doubts you're having. Something you must understand is that death is a certainty in life and what's more, who and when it happens to is out of our control. It is, however, completely in God's, not Satan's, hands. As to who is saved, God does NOT promise to save everyone, as I'm sure you know. Matthew 7:13-14 says, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it." It is not for us to know either who is, or was, truly saved either. That is the knowledge of God, and ultimately those who are not, are so because of their own pride and sin. Therefore, brother, I urge you not to worry about the salvation of others because God is the one that saves, not us. Instead, use this tragedy to encourage you to be faithful all the more to do what God HAS commanded of us, to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ and let HIM draw those He foreknew to respond to it. "All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God." (2 Corinthians 5:18-20).

I hope you find this helpful and if you have any more questions or need more clarification, feel free to respond.

 

[Godlovesmetwo]

I've been fluctuating between definitively believing in God to doubting everything

welcome to the club. I'd be more concerned if you had no doubts and were certain of everything. Doubt is not a bad thing in my opinion, It is a part of having faith.

 

[Humble me Lord]

Hello language guy, welcome, and glad you are here.
This is a great place for fellowship, especially in a time of strife.
I am praying for you.
You must have a good foundation in the Lord and I believe you are on the right path, don't give up. I truly believe God uses these things in our lives to make us stronger, to shape us and guide us with the plan he has for us.

Joshua 1:9, Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.

Romans 8:28, And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

Satan can no longer use death as his tool.
Hebrews 2:14-15, "Since therefore the children share in flesh and blood, he (Jesus) himself likewise partook of the same things, that through death he might destroy the one who has the power of death, that is, the devil, and deliver all those who through fear of death were subject to lifelong slavery."

Stay in the word
God Bless

 

[Adstar]

What I have always believed is that the creator of the universe (God) sent down his son, Jesus, to free us from sin, grant us eternal life, and to guide humanity in the right direction. After we pass, our soul is reconnected with Him in heaven. I have always believed that God intervenes in our lives in secret and subtle ways. He has always been so much more than a man in the sky to me; he has been an important role model, friend, and guardian, and I want to get back to that relationship with Him.

The doubts I feel like are coming out of worry for my student and for the others who passed. I want them to be okay more than anything. Even though now it seems like the doubts are just pouring out from everywhere, I feel like they are stemming from my worries that they, or anyone, is truly saved.

We can only trully deal with our own relationship with God.. We can try to share things with others but we cannot make other people saved by our efforts or wishes.. We leave all that up to God because we Trust that He knows best and judges accordingly..

Keep reading your Bible,, Read the Words of Jesus and trust in the Atonement He secured for your salvation..

 

[longwait]

As humans we are bombarded with negative thoughts throughout the day. My advise is that you buy a God's Promises book if you don't have it with you already (its better you buy one with only the verses and without any human interpretations or human twist to it) and read it regularly to stay encouraged.
You say you are a deep thinker. Great! Then you can dwell on these promises and meditate on it deeply and stay positive.
Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1
He who calls you is faithful, who also will do it. 1 Thess 5:24

 

[jimmyjimmy]

What I have always believed is that the creator of the universe (God) sent down his son, Jesus, to free us from sin, grant us eternal life, and to guide humanity in the right direction. After we pass, our soul is reconnected with Him in heaven. I have always believed that God intervenes in our lives in secret and subtle ways. He has always been so much more than a man in the sky to me; he has been an important role model, friend, and guardian, and I want to get back to that relationship with Him.

The doubts I feel like are coming out of worry for my student and for the others who passed. I want them to be okay more than anything. Even though now it seems like the doubts are just pouring out from everywhere, I feel like they are stemming from my worries that they, or anyone, is truly saved.

The brief, and difficult to swallow, answer is that we get to a place where you now are because we think we know better than God how life should go. The way out is on your knees. Humility is cure.

 

[Goodbook]

Are these doubts because...you dont know if Jesus saved these one that died? He does come to us all in the end and He knows peoples hearts and does what is right. Remember Jesus didnt want anyone to perish. He came to save not to judge. If these students knew Jesus as their Lord and saviour they are saved for Heaven.

Dont doubt that anyone who genuinely in their hearts believed will not be saved.

As for those that did not believe thats also a choice people make and Jesus does give people the option, but if they did not listen to God well there is consequences to that. GOds way is right he wont make a mistake over the state of anyones soul. Also remember its peoples hearts that are important to God not the type of church they go to.

 

[Tolworth John]

I'm sorry to read of your distress. May I suggest seeing your doctor or a councellor. You say you are emotionaly exhausted, you need help to adjust to the shocks you've been through.

You are also asking questions about what you believe. There is nothing wrong with that so long as it drives you to examine what it is and why you believe.

May I suggest looking at reasonablefaith for deep logical arguments for Christianity.