Advise request

[Bonabeans]

Im not really familiar with forums so please forgive me if in the wrong place
I'd like help deciding how to handle a situation that has just come up.
My brother lives hours from me and his girlfriend who I've only met has asked me to be a bridesmaid at their wedding. The issue is I know she is Wiccan. Though raised as a Christian, by brother isn't living that way and when I found out about the Wiccan thing, I was trying to find out how to talk to him since we aren't very close. Now I have this request, I will obviously pray, but I was trying to think of how to express my thoughts and feelings to her in a proper way and decide what to do about this conundrum.
I would greatly appreciate any thoughts on this! Thanks!

 

[Winken]

Do not attend the wedding. In the meantime, pray for your brother to get down on his knees in prayer, rejecting totally this "Wiccan" evil.

 

[Tinker Grey]

If you want a relationship, then attend the wedding and participate.

 

[comana]

Do not attend the wedding. In the meantime, pray for your brother to get down on his knees in prayer, rejecting totally this "Wiccan" evil.

Questionable advice.

If you want a relationship, then attend the wedding and participate.

Better advice.

 

[Radagast]

Im not really familiar with forums so please forgive me if in the wrong place
I'd like help deciding how to handle a situation that has just come up.
My brother lives hours from me and his girlfriend who I've only met has asked me to be a bridesmaid at their wedding. The issue is I know she is Wiccan. Though raised as a Christian, by brother isn't living that way and when I found out about the Wiccan thing, I was trying to find out how to talk to him since we aren't very close. Now I have this request, I will obviously pray, but I was trying to think of how to express my thoughts and feelings to her in a proper way and decide what to do about this conundrum.
I would greatly appreciate any thoughts on this! Thanks!

You should definitely re-post this in the Christian Advice section. Where we are now is open to atheists, and they will obviously all tell you that there's no problem (in fact, I see that most of the replies here are indeed from atheists).

I would encourage you to talk to your pastor about it. One option is to go, but not be a bridesmaid. If you stay away altogether, it will be difficult to maintain a relationship with them. And it does seem that she is taking an initiative to reconnect. It's certainly much too late to try and talk your brother out of marrying her. So your options are:

• to be a bridesmaid as requested
• to attend, but explain that you would be uncomfortable being a bridesmaid
• to not attend, which would basically destroy the relationship with your brother

I guess it would depend on what kind of wedding service it was going to be. Is the ceremony going to be Wiccan?

And, as a side issue, I'm not up on the details of wedding etiquette, but I thought that married women couldn't be bridesmaids anyway?

 

[Winken]

Questionable advice.



Better advice.

Romans 10:8-13.

 

[comana]

Romans 10:8-13.

Im not sure what you want me to take from this link, but I can assure you that rejecting her brother and soon to be sister-in-law will create a horrible rift in their relationship that may never mend. It would be better to attend and show love over judgement. Discussions and concerns can still be brought up and discussed without burning bridges.

 

[Winken]

Im not sure what you want me to take from this link, but I can assure you that rejecting her brother and soon to be sister-in-law will create a horrible rift in their relationship that may never mend. It would be better to attend and show love over judgement. Discussions and concerns can still be brought up and discussed without burning bridges.

I did not notice that you are an atheist. My responses were clearly Biblical.

 

[zephcom]

Im not really familiar with forums so please forgive me if in the wrong place
I'd like help deciding how to handle a situation that has just come up.
My brother lives hours from me and his girlfriend who I've only met has asked me to be a bridesmaid at their wedding. The issue is I know she is Wiccan. Though raised as a Christian, by brother isn't living that way and when I found out about the Wiccan thing, I was trying to find out how to talk to him since we aren't very close. Now I have this request, I will obviously pray, but I was trying to think of how to express my thoughts and feelings to her in a proper way and decide what to do about this conundrum.
I would greatly appreciate any thoughts on this! Thanks!

What would Jesus do???

My guess is that He would do what ever would be the Loving thing.

You don't say how much time there is before the wedding, but I suspect now is the time to start getting to know your new sister-in-law. I've known some Wiccans and they have all been some the nicest people you would ever like to know.

Once you get to know her, I suspect the answer to your question will become apparent.

 

[Bonabeans]

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. I appreciate your efforts to help. I'm already told in the Bible what I am to do, I was looking for Christian advice on the discussion to have. I in no way discount the advice of anyone, but there's a way I'm to handle things as a Christian and I will need that sort of advice in this situation.
I know nothing of Wedding etiquette, lol so I don't know about that, I'm sure you are right. I'm going to try to find the Christian Advice thing and hope I spell better this time! But I welcome sincere desire to help as these people have done...thank you

 

[Strathos]

As long as they don't ask you to pray to their gods I don't see why you shouldn't attend

 

[essentialsaltes]

Im not really familiar with forums so please forgive me if in the wrong place
I'd like help deciding how to handle a situation that has just come up.
My brother lives hours from me and his girlfriend who I've only met has asked me to be a bridesmaid at their wedding. The issue is I know she is Wiccan. Though raised as a Christian, by brother isn't living that way and when I found out about the Wiccan thing, I was trying to find out how to talk to him since we aren't very close. Now I have this request, I will obviously pray, but I was trying to think of how to express my thoughts and feelings to her in a proper way and decide what to do about this conundrum.
I would greatly appreciate any thoughts on this! Thanks!

Do you know if the ceremony is going to be a Wiccan ceremony or handfasting? or a Christian ceremony? Or a secular ceremony?

Assuming it's a Wiccan ceremony, would you feel different if it was going to be a Hindu or Confucian ceremony? Wicca is not Christianity, but there is nothing particularly anti-Christian about it, any more than any other non-Christian religion.

My advice:

If you think you would freak out as a bridesmaid or have a big disapproving frown plastered on your face as they perform the ceremony, you should not be a bridesmaid, and you can be honest with the couple about why. The form of the ceremony would bother you, and you don't feel you can participate with good will, and you wouldn't want anything to harm their enjoyment of the day.

But you should still attend.

Unless you think you would freak out. (If you have a giant disapproving frown, you can sit in the back.)

 

[Eight Foot Manchild]

My advice:

Abandon the worldview that has made you question whether you should be at your brother's wedding.

 

[quatona]

Im not really familiar with forums so please forgive me if in the wrong place
I'd like help deciding how to handle a situation that has just come up.
My brother lives hours from me and his girlfriend who I've only met has asked me to be a bridesmaid at their wedding. The issue is I know she is Wiccan. Though raised as a Christian, by brother isn't living that way and when I found out about the Wiccan thing, I was trying to find out how to talk to him since we aren't very close. Now I have this request, I will obviously pray, but I was trying to think of how to express my thoughts and feelings to her in a proper way and decide what to do about this conundrum.
I would greatly appreciate any thoughts on this! Thanks!

When it´s about wanting to express your thoughts and feelings to someone, I always think it´s best to do that openly and honestly.

 

[Motherofkittens]

That is tricky, definitely. I think you need to express yourself. However realize the way you do it, especially if you refuse to be a part of the wedding, can ruin your relationship with your brother, his love and their potential children, your niece's and nephews.

Go with what you believe is right with you, and what you can live with.

 

[Par5]

Im not really familiar with forums so please forgive me if in the wrong place
I'd like help deciding how to handle a situation that has just come up.
My brother lives hours from me and his girlfriend who I've only met has asked me to be a bridesmaid at their wedding. The issue is I know she is Wiccan. Though raised as a Christian, by brother isn't living that way and when I found out about the Wiccan thing, I was trying to find out how to talk to him since we aren't very close. Now I have this request, I will obviously pray, but I was trying to think of how to express my thoughts and feelings to her in a proper way and decide what to do about this conundrum.
I would greatly appreciate any thoughts on this! Thanks!

Have you ever thought that your brother is marrying this young lady because he loves her? You know, that thing that makes the world go round. A successful marriage does not necessarily depend on two people having the same belief, or indeed, no belief at all. It is an enduring love and respect for each other that makes a marriage work. I speak from experience and tomorrow my wife and I will have been very happily married for 48 years and looking forward to a few more years together.
I would advise you to attend your brother's wedding and give him your support.
I don't wish to sound unkind, but really, who your brother marries is no one's business but his own.

 

[Kylie]

Im not really familiar with forums so please forgive me if in the wrong place
I'd like help deciding how to handle a situation that has just come up.
My brother lives hours from me and his girlfriend who I've only met has asked me to be a bridesmaid at their wedding. The issue is I know she is Wiccan. Though raised as a Christian, by brother isn't living that way and when I found out about the Wiccan thing, I was trying to find out how to talk to him since we aren't very close. Now I have this request, I will obviously pray, but I was trying to think of how to express my thoughts and feelings to her in a proper way and decide what to do about this conundrum.
I would greatly appreciate any thoughts on this! Thanks!

They have the right to live as they want, and if that means they don't want to adhere to the same beliefs that you do (that Wicca is wrong), then that's their choice, and I don't see you have any right to try to change their views.

You have to decide which is more important to you - not wanting to be involved with something involving different religious beliefs, or sharing a very important day in your brother's life.

 

[Ken-1122]

Im not really familiar with forums so please forgive me if in the wrong place
I'd like help deciding how to handle a situation that has just come up.
My brother lives hours from me and his girlfriend who I've only met has asked me to be a bridesmaid at their wedding. The issue is I know she is Wiccan. Though raised as a Christian, by brother isn't living that way and when I found out about the Wiccan thing, I was trying to find out how to talk to him since we aren't very close. Now I have this request, I will obviously pray, but I was trying to think of how to express my thoughts and feelings to her in a proper way and decide what to do about this conundrum.
I would greatly appreciate any thoughts on this! Thanks!

I think you should talk to your brother, and let him know it is against your religious beliefs to be a part of his wedding (if it is). If he expects you to respect his wife's religious beliefs, he should respect yours and find someone else to be a part of his wedding that isn't uncomfortable with it.

 

[Kylie]

I think you should talk to your brother, and let him know it is against your religious beliefs to be a part of his wedding (if it is). If he expects you to respect his wife's religious beliefs, he should respect yours and find someone else to be a part of his wedding that isn't uncomfortable with it.

I think he has every right to expect Bonabeans to respect his wife's right to HAVE the beliefs that she does, and likewise, everyone must respect Bonabeans's right to have the beliefs that she does. But no one is asking anyone to give up their faith. It is perfectly possible to participate in a non-Christian wedding while still being a Christian.

Just remember the sorts of people Jesus hung out with.

 

[Ken-1122]

I think he has every right to expect Bonabeans to respect his wife's right to HAVE the beliefs that she does, and likewise, everyone must respect Bonabeans's right to have the beliefs that she does. But no one is asking anyone to give up their faith. It is perfectly possible to participate in a non-Christian wedding while still being a Christian.

Just remember the sorts of people Jesus hung out with.

If there is one thing I’ve noticed about Christians is that there is often an inconsistency in what they believe. You can ask 3 Christians; a moral question, and get 3 different answers each contradicting the other, and they can each provide scriptural backing to their individual answers, coming from the same bible.

Just because one Christian may find it acceptable to participate in a non-Christian wedding, doesn’t mean the next Christian will believe that way; yet they will both be able to provide scripture from the Bible supporting their contradictory views, because the Bible is written that way.

I suspect from his OP that Bonabeans is the type of Christian who don’t believe it is acceptable to participate in such a non-Christian wedding while still being Christian; I was simply answering his question in the context of what he believes.