Advice....

[Zeena]

SS had become so complex now. I do have long term disability if needed, just would have to make many life changes...but that may me.

I don't know how you make a mother give up on a child. She really has enabled him for years. I think there was a time he could have taken action, but just took from her and counted on her to pay his bills. It just turned into one big snowball that led him into learned helplessness.

Wanting to save her from him, I stepped in. I had money then. I would give money to help Mom, but she would just give money to him, so I stopped helping her. She has a beautiful little house and he has moved in and turned her life upside down, but she can't or won't kick him out to the street. So I just tell her to hang on and I will sell her house for her and she can move in with me.

It's really hard to help someone that now mentally can't help themselves.
He's back in a state of denial. Says he is OK and not going to the hospital I found him, so he just sits and watches TV all day loaded up on prescription meds. I sit a letter to his Doctor wanting to meet with her. She is a State Doctor and just really doesn't care. We just have to find him some decent help so pray that we do.

Sounds like what your brother really needs is THE Enabler.. Jesus.

Praying!

 

[one11]

SS had become so complex now. I do have long term disability if needed, just would have to make many life changes...but that may me.

I don't know how you make a mother give up on a child. She really has enabled him for years. I think there was a time he could have taken action, but just took from her and counted on her to pay his bills. It just turned into one big snowball that led him into learned helplessness.

Wanting to save her from him, I stepped in. I had money then. I would give money to help Mom, but she would just give money to him, so I stopped helping her. She has a beautiful little house and he has moved in and turned her life upside down, but she can't or won't kick him out to the street. So I just tell her to hang on and I will sell her house for her and she can move in with me.

It's really hard to help someone that now mentally can't help themselves.
He's back in a state of denial. Says he is OK and not going to the hospital I found him, so he just sits and watches TV all day loaded up on prescription meds. I sit a letter to his Doctor wanting to meet with her. She is a State Doctor and just really doesn't care. We just have to find him some decent help so pray that we do.

I understand your wanting to take care of your Mom and your brother.

But first you need to understand that it is your Mom's decision as that is her child. Your brother is her child and it's very hard if not impossible for a mother to let go.

I think you should ask and see if your Mom will accept some advice and intervention from either AA or Alanon (a group to help those dealing with an alcoholic and drug addict) as they might be able to give your Mom some good advice and relieve some of her stress. With a heart condition, your Mom shouldn't be so stressed out either. So maybe Alanon or AA will have some good advice for your Mom.

I'm still praying for you all too!