Advice to a UFO

[Blissman]

My advice to a UFO would be, "Dear Little Green Men. Abondon All Hope,
Ye who has trespassed upon the planet Earth. We have the most powerful weapon in the
Universe. All that encounters this weapon will be destroyed. The mighty weapon is to be
feared by all creatures and all things. We call this mighty weapon, "Human Being".

 

[transientlife]

sad, isn't it?

...most powerful, highly volatile, yet corrodible

 

[AnCiEnT1]

My advice to a UFO would be, "Dear Little Green Men. Abondon All Hope,
Ye who has trespassed upon the planet Earth. We have the most powerful weapon in the
Universe. All that encounters this weapon will be destroyed. The mighty weapon is to be
feared by all creatures and all things. We call this mighty weapon, "Human Being".

Thus the reason why if we were to encounter other intelegence we would be automatically in a war against them... Because the ones that always get noticed are those who pack their luggage in a piggly wiggly bag and have the average IQ of 10

 

[jingwei]

UFOs and the aliens are demonic in nature, in my point of view. Anal probes and hybrid babies are not to me scientific discovery.

 

[Blissman]

You are assuming that a UFO would care about hybrid babies or anuses. Maybe thay want to stop here and buy some soda, junk food, and some batteries.

 

[transientlife]

They certainly wouldn't be able to afford the gas, that's for sure.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

In A.D. 2004
Aliens were coming!
Alien Leader: What happen?
Alien Comm Dude: Somebody set up us the bomb.
Alien Comm Dude: We get signal.
Alien Leader: What!
Alien Comm Dude: Main screen turn on.
Alien Leader: It's You!!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: How are you gentlemen!!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: All your base are belong to Skynet.
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You are on the way to destruction.
Alien Leader: What you say!!
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You have no chance to survive make your time.
ARnold Scharzenegger: I am the Terminator. Ha ha ha...
Alien Leader: Take off every "zig."
Arnold Schwarzenegger: You'll be terminated
Alien Leader: Move "zig".
Arnold Schwarzenegger: I'll be back.

Just my $0.02 worth on that. Maybe someone will get a laugh.

 

[jingwei]

The satelite probe launch to the mysterious Mars Pyramids and Face has been sabotaged repeatedly. The director of the launch, an Iranian, died mysteriously in his sleep from a heart attack, screaming Shaitan! Shaitan! (demon)

 

[Eudaimonist]

My advice would be:

Hey, let's share philosophy, science, and technology. Let's learn from each other, and trade with each other.

 

[jingwei]

Dream on.

 

[Blissman]

The satelite probe launch to the mysterious Mars Pyramids and Face has been sabotaged repeatedly. The director of the launch, an Iranian, died mysteriously in his sleep from a heart attack, screaming Shaitan! Shaitan! (demon)

Recently, the Bush Administration has called for hunting licenses on Mars. The group Green Peace is demonstrating, demanding that an enviornmental impact study must first be submitted. Kerry said in a statement that he was still studying the situation, but since the permit came from a Republican, it was probobly wrong. The gun lobby advocates a constitional ammendment permitting WMD be allowed as sport when on Mars. "There is no reason for banning WMD when on Mars", the NRA said. "It just shows you how the liberals are trying to take away our God-given right to bear arms". However, the Disney corporation has protested the gun lobby, say that they, (Disney) want to base a theme park on Mars. Russia announced that this would cause a "Major diplomatic setback", since Mars has always been a part of Russia. Robin has been running bus tours to The Center Of Mars for years. His only potential competition is Howdy Dave, Inc., who is still attempting to get his first elevator operational. Robin claims that he is unconcerned about Howdy Dave's elevator, citing leadership in brand loyalty.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

I noticed how no one has said, "Beam me up Scotty."

 

[Salsa_1960]

Robin has been running bus tours to The Center Of Mars for years. His only potential competition is Howdy Dave, Inc., who is still attempting to get his first elevator operational. Robin claims that he is unconcerned about Howdy Dave's elevator, citing leadership in brand loyalty.

What's Howdy Dave, Inc.? A home for retired chipmunk owners?
And who is Robin?

 

[Blissman]

Howdy Dave, Inc., is a company that sells supplies to UFO. Robin is the economic advisor for UFO stocks, and is listed on the NYSE.

 

[USincognito]

The satelite probe launch to the mysterious Mars Pyramids and Face has been sabotaged repeatedly. The director of the launch, an Iranian, died mysteriously in his sleep from a heart attack, screaming Shaitan! Shaitan! (demon)

Step away from Richard C. Hoagland's website. Turn off Coast to Coast AM. I was not sent by NASA.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

Step away from Richard C. Hoagland's website. Turn off Coast to Coast AM. I was not sent by NASA.

No, you were sent by someone else, some other unfriendly government agency.

You could also say,"Weapons officer bring main batteries to bear."

 

[Obertray]

My advice would be: "Git oof mah laynd!!" Then I'd pull out a shotgun, and shoot it into the air. Then I'd make another All Your Base parody like "All your spaceship are belong to redneck". Or not...

Really, I'd tell them to leave, lest they face the wrath of a volatile yet easily destroyed species. Either that or "My name is Obertray, atheist of atheists. Look upon my computer, ye mighty, and play Halo!"

Wow, this is getting stupid.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

Lets see, I'd have to play Flying Purple People Eater for them too.

This is not a stupid thread. It is lighthearted and funny. This place is too serious and could use a little humor.

My advice would be: "Git oof mah laynd!!" Then I'd pull out a shotgun, and shoot it into the air. Then I'd make another All Your Base parody like "All your spaceship are belong to redneck". Or not...

Owned by the Redneck!