hello,
first, this is going to be a really long post, so you may not want to read it.
About a month ago, I started to realize that one of my friends was not really talking to me that much anymore, always had plans/wasn't available, and never called when he said he would. (He was always cheery on the phone, which i think may have thrown me off at first). So i decided to send a message asking if he was mad at me for anything, if there was something wrong, etc. I really had no idea what I could have done to offend him (there was no fight or disagreement prior to this). He wrote back saying a whole bunch of stuff about how he didn't want to be friends anymore, and didn't really want anything to do with me or see me anymore. This was surprising to me, so I called him, and we got into this really long conversation on the phone, because I really wanted to know what I'd done so I could try and fix it. Well he gave me a pretty sketchy answer saying I'd done absolutely nothing, he wasn't mad at me, but he just never really felt like calling me up or talking to me anymore. I asked him repeatedly if he could just tell me what I'd done to make him upset with me, but he would not tell me, other than that I'd done nothing, he wasn't mad at me, and he didn't know what I expected him to say concerning his reasons for this. I was also a bit upset that during this whole conversation (I was crying) he was talking calmly, even chuckling a few times, and sounded pretty happy, not bothered at all. I also asked if anyone else in the group of friends felt the same way. He said that he hadn't shared this with any of them, so he thought not. So I asked to speak with one of them who happened to be there. This other friend seemed a bit hesitant to be speaking with me, said he had no idea what this whole thing was about, and suggested I sort it out with the original friend. (The next day this second friend sent me an email saying how he did not want to be dragged into the entire drama, and pretty much wished me luck (with my life I'm assuming)).
Now there are two other friends in this group who did not take his side, which I'm glad for. But, the rest of the people who were not even involved in this, I've recently learned do not want anything to do with me anymore. I don't even and can't imagine what that first friend said about me to them to cause such a drastic change of opinion in them about me. There had never been any disagreements between me and them in the past. But I heard this all from a third person, so I don't even know the entire story, and obviously can't talk to them (I won't force myself upon someone who doesn't want anything to do with me), so I pretty much don't even know what's going on in this whole mess.
But now....... these other two friends who have stuck by my side through all of this, our contact has quickly decreased, I've tried to keep up the contact, because I do want to stay friends, but sort of the same thing is happening where they don't seem very enthusiastic on the phone to be speaking to me, and say they will call me sometime in the week and make plans (twice this has happened, they didn't call). I really don't want to jump to a huge conclusion, but everyday I start to feel a bit more like what happened with the first guy is starting to happen again.
Tonight I called, and he said he was going to one of their houses (one of them who doesn't want to be around me).
However, until I have for sure proof, I still consider them friends, and I will not confront them about this before they do, for fear I could ruin the friendship. (I've been known to jump to conclusions and do drastic things, later finding out I was completely wrong)
Sometime after that, I was so upset that I cut, because I felt like everyone hates me/I don't really have any friends who actually want to be around me of their own accord.
If anyone has any advice, please let me know
I just feel really lonely right now, like everyone is abandoning me.
first, this is going to be a really long post, so you may not want to read it.
About a month ago, I started to realize that one of my friends was not really talking to me that much anymore, always had plans/wasn't available, and never called when he said he would. (He was always cheery on the phone, which i think may have thrown me off at first). So i decided to send a message asking if he was mad at me for anything, if there was something wrong, etc. I really had no idea what I could have done to offend him (there was no fight or disagreement prior to this). He wrote back saying a whole bunch of stuff about how he didn't want to be friends anymore, and didn't really want anything to do with me or see me anymore. This was surprising to me, so I called him, and we got into this really long conversation on the phone, because I really wanted to know what I'd done so I could try and fix it. Well he gave me a pretty sketchy answer saying I'd done absolutely nothing, he wasn't mad at me, but he just never really felt like calling me up or talking to me anymore. I asked him repeatedly if he could just tell me what I'd done to make him upset with me, but he would not tell me, other than that I'd done nothing, he wasn't mad at me, and he didn't know what I expected him to say concerning his reasons for this. I was also a bit upset that during this whole conversation (I was crying) he was talking calmly, even chuckling a few times, and sounded pretty happy, not bothered at all. I also asked if anyone else in the group of friends felt the same way. He said that he hadn't shared this with any of them, so he thought not. So I asked to speak with one of them who happened to be there. This other friend seemed a bit hesitant to be speaking with me, said he had no idea what this whole thing was about, and suggested I sort it out with the original friend. (The next day this second friend sent me an email saying how he did not want to be dragged into the entire drama, and pretty much wished me luck (with my life I'm assuming)).
Now there are two other friends in this group who did not take his side, which I'm glad for. But, the rest of the people who were not even involved in this, I've recently learned do not want anything to do with me anymore. I don't even and can't imagine what that first friend said about me to them to cause such a drastic change of opinion in them about me. There had never been any disagreements between me and them in the past. But I heard this all from a third person, so I don't even know the entire story, and obviously can't talk to them (I won't force myself upon someone who doesn't want anything to do with me), so I pretty much don't even know what's going on in this whole mess.
But now....... these other two friends who have stuck by my side through all of this, our contact has quickly decreased, I've tried to keep up the contact, because I do want to stay friends, but sort of the same thing is happening where they don't seem very enthusiastic on the phone to be speaking to me, and say they will call me sometime in the week and make plans (twice this has happened, they didn't call). I really don't want to jump to a huge conclusion, but everyday I start to feel a bit more like what happened with the first guy is starting to happen again.
Tonight I called, and he said he was going to one of their houses (one of them who doesn't want to be around me).
However, until I have for sure proof, I still consider them friends, and I will not confront them about this before they do, for fear I could ruin the friendship. (I've been known to jump to conclusions and do drastic things, later finding out I was completely wrong)
Sometime after that, I was so upset that I cut, because I felt like everyone hates me/I don't really have any friends who actually want to be around me of their own accord.
If anyone has any advice, please let me know
I just feel really lonely right now, like everyone is abandoning me.
