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advice PLEEEEEZZE

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idolgal

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hey all, my name is idol gal

I am having a problem. All my life i have suffered from worry and doubt. Usually it is completely unfouded and it leads to the end of a lot of good things for me. Unfortunately, i have had a little doubt in the back of my mind that is starting to eat away at me that threatens to destroy my happiness completely...............I have the perfect boyfriend. sweet caring responsible, STRONG christian, the works. Then one day i just started doubting my feeling for him and now i am terrified that i may break up with him when i dont even want to. I dont know how to control my worries and doubts i pray like 40 times a day but nothig seems to be happening. Prayers and advice would be VERY greatly appreciated

god bless all of you

idolgal
 
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Clement of Alexandria

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There's a simple way to get rid of the fear -- DUMP HIM! Seriously, you're only 17 and it would do you good to have the experience of rejecting the dude/a dude. You're way too insecure and neurotic about this, and the way to get rid of such unwanted thoughts is to relax and don't take life so seriously. Dump the dude, learn from the experience, and then you won't be so odd in the future.
 
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Hackett

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IdolGal. Life is frightening. Circumstances that we have no control over contribute to that. However, we must learn to cope in the midst of these circumstances. It is normal to have some doubts in our relationships. The first thing you need to do is confirm your standing with Christ. Are you a Christian? You say the young man is. Are you comfortable in the relationship with him or is there something about it you know to be contrary to God's law? Identify the doubts and where they come from. Ask the Lord to help you give him your worry and fear. If you are bound up in worry and fear then that alone can keep you from thinking clearly and making wise decisions.

God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of sound mind. 2 Tim 1:7

I am praying for you.[BIBLE][/BIBLE]
 
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AmeriLovesJesus

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There's a simple way to get rid of the fear -- DUMP HIM! Seriously, you're only 17 and it would do you good to have the experience of rejecting the dude/a dude. You're way too insecure and neurotic about this, and the way to get rid of such unwanted thoughts is to relax and don't take life so seriously. Dump the dude, learn from the experience, and then you won't be so odd in the future.


I agree.

I think you should really seperate right now because of these feelings. You do not have to dump him. You can just tell him to give you some time alone. I think you need to have your focus only God right now and ask him to help you get through this. In order for that, you have to be free from everything else and listen for God.

I have been through similar situations with boyfriends in highschool. Nothing would be wrong in the relationship but I'd still feel unpleasent. I remember getting with my exboyfriend of 4 years .. I could not move for the whole weekend. I seriously never experienced anything like it before. I had literally without even knowing given up on something. Now I realize in my insecurity. I was a very worrying child, I always worried and panicked about everything. Maybe this feeling is not only from your insecurity but maybe someone trying to tell you something that this relationship may not be right. I have learned from experience.
 
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A

Anti Existance

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All worries in life are no real worries at all. Wether you worry or not, there's always a day after tomorrow. One day you are going to die, would that worry you? You can't stop it, you could worry about that your whole life and then one day you die. Your neigbhour who never worried all his life, will one day die too. Result? Exactly the same, exept you wasted your life on worrying while your neighbour used it to enjoy life. You should be like your neighbour and stop worrying about things, let it go. Just make wise choices in your life that lead to happyness,choose LOVE, for it is supreme and the only thing that can make you happy in this universe.
 
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UnitynLove

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The Cause and Cure for Worry



Worry, feeling uneasy or troubled seems to plague multitudes of people in our world today. It is human nature to be concerned about the bad situations in our world and in our personal lives but if we're not careful, the devil will cause us to worry beyond what is reasonable. Worry is like a rocking chair, it is always in motion, but it never gets you anywhere. So why do we struggle with it...and what good does it do? Worry is the opposite of faith, and it steals our peace, physically wears us out, and can even make us sick. When we worry, we torment ourselves—we're doing the devil's job for him! Worry is caused by not trusting God to take care of the various situations in our lives. Too often we trust our own abilities, believing that we can figure out how to take care of our own problems. Yet sometimes after all our worry and effort to go it alone, we come up short, unable to bring about suitable solutions.

At a young age, I discovered firsthand that people hurt people, and so I didn't trust others. Therefore, I tried to take care of myself, deciding not to depend on anyone who would hurt or disappoint me. Too often our experiences in the world teach us this, and even after we become Christians, it takes a long time to overcome it. It is difficult to learn how to trust God, but we eventually must learn that trying to take care of everything ourselves is too big a task.

CAST YOUR CARES ON THE ONE WHO CARES FOR YOU

First Peter 5:6,7 says, Therefore humble yourselves [demote, lower yourselves in your own estimation] under the mighty hand of God, that in due time He may exalt you, casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. Since Jesus invites us to cast all of our care and worries on Him, why do so many of us refuse to let go? Apparently, we are not yet fed up with being miserable.

The only way to have victory in our lives is to play by God's rules, and He says we must quit worrying if we want to have peace. So when things come our way that cause us to be concerned, we need God's help. How do we get it? First Peter 5:6,7 lists two important steps: 1) humble yourselves, and 2) cast your care on Him. That seems pretty clear and simple, yet some continue struggling because they are too bullheaded to ask for help. But the humble get the help. So if your way isn't working, why not try God's way? All of us would be better off if we would learn to lean on God and ask for His help. But as long as we try to do everything ourselves, God will let us. He will not take care of our problems and worries—our cares—until we turn loose of them and give them to Him. Either we are going to do it or God's going to do it, but both of us are not going to do it. Now, casting your care doesn't mean you're to be irresponsible. God will not do for you what you can do yourself. You must do what you can do and then trust God to do what you cannot do. When we humble ourselves and ask for His help, then He is able to release His power in our situations. And it is only then that we can really enjoy life. So the cure for worry is humbling ourselves before God, casting our cares on Him, and trusting Him. Instead of making ourselves miserable trying to figure everything out on our own, God wants us to place our trust in Him and enter into His rest, totally abandoning ourselves to His care. I know that when we are able to believe and say, "God, I trust You," it will literally change our lives. Psalm 37:3(KJV) says, Trust in the Lord, and do good.... God didn't create us to worry about helping ourselves all the time. He wants us to sow good seed by reaching out to help others. When we simply trust God and get busy doing the good things we know to do, then He will bring a harvest of blessings in our lives and meet our needs.

DEVELOP AN ATTITUDE OF FAITH AND PRAYER

I have learned that my attitude has a lot to do with living a worry-free life. There will always be situations that cause us concern, but with God's help, we can live above all of it and enjoy life. Cast your care on the Lord and say, "God, I trust You, and I'm going to enjoy the life You have given to me." When you give your problems to God, you must also decide to be satisfied with His answers. Trusting God to do what's best for us involves dying to self. Paul said, ...it is no longer I who live, but Christ (the Messiah) lives in me; and the life I now live in the body I live by faith in (by adherence to and reliance on and complete trust in) the Son of God, Who loved me and gave Himself up for me (Galatians 2:20). You can trust God to do what's best for you, so you don't have to worry about it. When you get a positive attitude and keep your faith in God, you cannot be defeated.

We must stop trying to make things happen the way we want them to happen and get to the place where we want to please God more than ourselves. The Christ in us has to supercede what we want. Faith and the Word of God will help you overcome worry. Worrying involves negative thoughts but speaking positive things out of your mouth will interrupt those negative thought patterns. When we are full of the Word of God, we can speak it out of our mouths in faith. Faith is stronger than doubt, negativism, and unbelief. Faith has a positive attitude that can overcome your past and lead you into a great future. Faith is a powerful force that cannot be conquered. Another powerful force is prayer. When you're under pressure, it is always best to pray about it instead of talking about it. Prayer is the blueprint for a successful life. During His time on earth, Jesus prayed. He trusted everything to God, even His reputation and life. We can do the same. We don't have to explain all the problems to Him; we can just give them to Him and ask Him to take care of everything. Don't complicate prayer just have confidence in simple, believing prayer.

Look at Paul's instructions in Philippians 4:6,7: Do not fret or have any anxiety about anything, but in every circumstance and in everything, by prayer and petition (definite requests), with thanksgiving, continue to make your wants known to God. And God's peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. If you're a Christian who goes around burdened down all the time, something is wrong. You may have had faith in Christ for salvation, but you haven't moved into walking in faith daily for the life that God has given you. The Bible tells us that God is faithful, that's one of His major characteristics. He can be counted on to come through for us, so we should trust Him totally and completely. When we do, we will be ready for anything that may come our way.

ALLOW GOD TO GIVE YOU PEACE AND REST

In Matthew 11:28, Jesus said, Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] Jesus wants to ease our burdens and give us rest. The Message Bible says it this way: Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me, watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly (Matthew 11:28-30). That sounds good, doesn't it? I've had enough heavy stuff in my life, and I want to be free. It's nice to know that we don't have to figure out everything. We need to get comfortable with saying, "I don't have a clue, but I'm not going to worry about it because God is in control. I'm going to live free and light!" When we are overloaded with the cares of this life struggling, laboring, and worrying we need some help. Our minds need to rest from worrying about how to take care of problems. Our emotions need to rest from being upset all the time, and our wills need a rest from stubbornness and rebellion. So we need to be humble enough to call out to God and say, "I need help!" Your beginning doesn't have to dictate your ending. Get God involved in every area of your life and allow Him to lead you into rest.

WORRY OR WORSHIP?

Worry and worship are exact opposites, and we would all be much happier if we learned to become worshippers instead of worriers. Worry opens the door for the devil, but worship is reverence and adoration for God that leads us into His presence. Worship comes from a feeling of love that is so strong that we can hardly express it. God created us to worship Him, and I don't believe we can walk in victory if we don't become worshippers. Sometimes when we don't have what we need or want, the enemy tries to discourage us and keep us from worshipping God. But when we know that God has our best interests at heart, we can worship Him regardless of our circumstances. Remember God is good even when our circumstances are not! God doesn't always give us our heart's desire right away. He wants us to develop a deep, personal relationship with Him and an outrageous love for Him so much so that we can't live without it. This kind of relationship and love brings the worshipful attitude that God wants us to have. To worship means to reverence, or to defer to. We are to have reverential fear and awe of God. We are to respect and honor Him...and defer to Him submitting and obeying Him, and adapting ourselves to His will. We must realize that Christ living in us has come to lead and guide us into a special lifestyle of worship and victorious living. When Satan throws worry on you, I challenge you to stop what you're doing and get down on your knees before God and begin praising Him. Worship is a spiritual weapon, a warhead or bomb you can use against the enemy. Your prayers and worship will get you heavenly help, and you won't have to fight your own battles. God's grace and power can make things happen with ease that you can't bring about no matter how much you struggle. So stop worrying about everything, give it to God, and live in grace. Grace is not just divine favor, it is power! Don't waste another day of your life in worry. Determine what is your responsibility and what is not. Don't try to take on God's responsibility. When we do what we can do, God steps in and does what we can't. So give yourself and your worries to God and begin enjoying the abundant life He has planned for you.
 
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