So, I've been talking to this guy on a dating site for the past three weeks. He seems really nice, wants us to meet up in the summer etc.
I wanted to talk to him on the phone for the first time today,and this is a huge step for me because I suffer with social anxiety. Has anyone got any advice on how I can keep the conversation flowing, without being too nervous/anxious.
Thanks!
I will try and point out this thread to my wife. She has had anxiety problems in the past and still deals with them on some levels although I know she's a lot better then she used to be. I know of few better people to help you better.
My best advice is the advice I would have given my wife on our first date if I could have. And that is that when he asks you about something you elaborate and give more then one word answers. Those things lead to conversations. One word answers are conversation killers.
I met my wife online and when I went to meet her we had our first date in a Mexican resteraunt. And the date actually went very horribly.
So we where in the resteraunt and I asked her different questions like. "How is college going?" - She started college later then me so she was in college when we met. Or I would ask her how she liked her major or how she liked to place where she was living now. (She had moved a lot as a kid). But every question I asked, I got a one word answer and little description.
So it was impossible to introduce humor or keep any conversation going. Plus she wouldn't ask me any questions so it was impossible for me to make a conversation out of that! I can make a conversation out of plenty of stuff, I just need something to start on!! So what ended up happening is that I couldn't get anything out of her and there was a TV behind her and above her. So my attention got drawn to the TV, because she just sat there silently. She didn't notice the TV and she thought I was avoiding looking at her for reason.
Anyways it went for the better. She loosened up on a 2nd date when we went bowling a bit. Then after we left we got caught up in what I call "The traffic jamb from God." Basically we got caught up in a traffic jamb and it sort of forced us to talk out some of these things and we cleared up a lot there. And things went really great after that.
Anyways moral of the story is, ask questions and if you have a hard time with that, avoid giving short one word answers to his questions. Elaberate on things, give him something to work with. Most people carry on great- non awkward conversations if you give them more then "Yes" and "No" for answers to things like that.
