Advice PLEASE, help.

[JoeJoe83]

Recently I've been going through this OCD phase where I feel guilty for EVERYTHING I do. I find myself saying, "Please forgive me Lord" about once every 10 minutes, all day. Often times when I say it, it doesn't relieve the guilt I feel, so I keep saying it, closing my eyes so tight my head begins to hurt, until the guilt goes away. But it just comes back a few minutes later.

I feel so bad all the time. I've been trying to adopt Christian teachings, but they fill me with so much guilt and worry. It feels like I'm carrying a 100lb weight around all day. I can feel it throughout my whole body.

Also, often times, my mind will tell me, "you MUST do this or the Lord will not forgive you." It can be the smallest thing or a bigger thing. Often times they're things I know I can't so, or would be very hard.

I feel SOOOO BAD. Like I want to cry.

Advice?

 

[Jayangel81]

Been there While this can be caused from OCD and no doubt in my mind that if youre obsessing over it, is definitly an effect from OCD, this guilt can also be straight from the enemy.

In my experiances satan loves just loves guilt for some reason...as it has been said with things we experiance with OCD, skitzophrenia the "disorder" and "spiritual warfare" come close. Reason i say this is because in my honest oppinion and experiance i have had the enemy try to do it to me. Than i obsess and repent i dont know like a million times (the later part is from OCD)

It stinks having to repent for something just because you dont "feel" forgiven. We just need to trust God to be faithful in forgiving ourselves, than we need to ask Him for help to help us forgive ourselves.

God Bless

 

[gracealone]

Recently I've been going through this OCD phase where I feel guilty for EVERYTHING I do. I find myself saying, "Please forgive me Lord" about once every 10 minutes, all day. Often times when I say it, it doesn't relieve the guilt I feel, so I keep saying it, closing my eyes so tight my head begins to hurt, until the guilt goes away. But it just comes back a few minutes later.

I feel so bad all the time. I've been trying to adopt Christian teachings, but they fill me with so much guilt and worry. It feels like I'm carrying a 100lb weight around all day. I can feel it throughout my whole body.

Also, often times, my mind will tell me, "you MUST do this or the Lord will not forgive you." It can be the smallest thing or a bigger thing. Often times they're things I know I can't so, or would be very hard.

I feel SOOOO BAD. Like I want to cry.

Advice?

Hey JoeJoe,
OCD can cause incredible emotional pain.
Have you had your OCD diagnosed by a professional?
Have you been taught how to do exposure/response/prevention therapy, to treat your OCD?
JayA, is right that we shouldn't depend on our emotions as evidence of whether or not God has really forgiven us. This is especially important for the person with OCD, because their emotional responses to the smallest things are way out of whack. This isn't their fault but is caused by a misfiring in the anxiety center of their brain.
If you were to do exposure/response you would have to let the scary thoughts and the accompanying anxiety and guilt feelings, "just be there", without giving in to the urge to do the compulsive praying activities. This is hard because the instinctive urge is to fight against the thoughts and the anxiety. But as you learn more and more about exposure/response therapy you will understand that the more you give in and do the compulsions the deeper you get into the OCD cycle. By doing the compulsion you are making the original obsession out to be valid and giving it tremdous weight and importance.
Keep reading the posts on the forum and you'll learn quite a lot about how many people have learned to deal with and overcome their own OCD attacks.
Some really helpful reading can be found on a site called" www.ocdonline.com
Read the articles written by Dr. Stephen Philipson. They've helped me tremendously.
Praying for you,
Mitzi

 

[RachelZ]

Hi Joe, just wanted to say I really feel for you in your struggle. I find myself repenting for stuff and even as I'm doing it I'm wondering why cos it doesn't really seem like a sin. For example if I read something and a swear word suddenly appears I think I'll repent and then I'm thinking but it wasn't my fault it was there...but I get driven to repent to allay the anxiety. I think I do it with a lot of thoughts I don't like...maybe some of it is sin...but I certainly feel like me repentance is a ritual rather than part of a real relationship. I hope you get some encouragement from the other posts here...hang in there...God knows your struggle. I don't believe He uses anxiety to convict us or to speak to us...take care, Rachel

 

[RachelZ]

Hi Joe, just wanted to say I really feel for you in your struggle. I find myself repenting for stuff and even as I'm doing it I'm wondering why cos it doesn't really seem like a sin. For example if I read something and a swear word suddenly appears I think I'll repent and then I'm thinking but it wasn't my fault it was there...but I get driven to repent to allay the anxiety. I think I do it with a lot of thoughts I don't like...maybe some of it is sin...but I certainly feel like me repentance is a ritual rather than part of a real relationship. I hope you get some encouragement from the other posts here...hang in there...God knows your struggle. I don't believe He uses anxiety to convict us or to speak to us...take care, Rachel

 

[amItrue]

Wow that sounds kind of like what I've been going through lately. I have alot of bad thoughts and feel like I need to get on my knees right away or I won't be forgiven. This gets tiresome and difficult since I have these thoughts constantly! Also I've been trying to get over an obsession about food I've had lately. Recently I went through a really hard time constantly feeling like I needed to fast for days at a time and when I couldn't do it, I'd have this aweful guilt and feel like God was angry with me. Someone on here told me when I was going through this that satan loves nothing more than to lure us into a tight spot and torment us if we fail. As some of the other people on here said, I don't believe God causes us to be anxious so if a thought causes distress or anxiety, it probably isn't God. God loves us and knows us better than we know ourselves so He knows how to speak to us and ask us to do things without it causing wrong anxiety or fear.

Remember that God said if we confess our sins He is faithful to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness....He did not say, If you confess your sins about 100 times, obesses about it, jump down on your knees, kiss the floor, ask again, pace back and forth , ask another 100 times.... then I'll consider forgiving you of your sins. As far as the weight you feel that you're carrying around, ask God to teach you to cast your cares upon Him like He tells us to. Obviously I struggle with this as well so I ask Him to help me with the same thing. I pray for God to touch you as only He can and relieve you of the fear and anxiety you feel. May you grow stronger in your connection with Him! God bless!

"When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee; when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee." Isaiah 43:2

 

[RachelZ]

"Remember that God said if we confess our sins He is faithful to forgive us of our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness....He did not say, If you confess your sins about 100 times, obesses about it, jump down on your knees, kiss the floor, ask again, pace back and forth , ask another 100 times.... then I'll consider forgiving you of your sins."

AmITrue...I'm sorry you struggle with this too...just wanted to say thankyou for such a brilliant characature of what God doesn't ask of us...hope you have a peaceful day...take care, Rachel

 

[JoeJoe83]

Thanks for your replies everyone. I've started to finally feel much better in the past day or so after weeks of this OCD torment.

I stumbled acrossed this verse which has helped me a lot:

"Be still and know that I am God."
Psalm 46:10

The "be still" has really calmed me down. I hope that verse may be of help to someone else.

 

[JoeJoe83]

I don't believe He uses anxiety to convict us or to speak to us...take care, Rachel

I agree with you. To me, I've tried to put the notion in my head that when God speaks, it's not in dispute (meaning you won't question where it is coming from.)

I also do the same thing you do about accidentially reading something bad online. I know it's not my fault, but I feel like it is.