Advice Needed! ~

[Foxxi]

Hey all! I really need some advice here.

I work with this wonderful man - he's just great! Very moral, honest, hardworking, sweet type of guy. However, he is an unbeliever.

I've only known him for a few months, and have gotten to know him a little over these past few months. Very unfortunately, I've developed romantic feelings towards him, despite trying to stay out of his way (so that I wouldn't develop these feelings!)

I'm about 99% sure that he has feelings for me too! He's all BUT said so. His friend who I also works with drops hints all the time that he's into me. He's all but said that this guy cares for me too. Rumor is going around work that he's into me, and my managers have changed both our schedules so that we only work 1 or maybe more days together rather than the 3+ we were working together. I have tried my hardest not to show my feelings for him, to him or to anyone else.

As I said, I do my best to avoid, but it's very hard! Especially when you work in the same room with someone each day at work.

Obviously, a relationship wouldn't work, and I wouldn't want it to because this man is an unbeliever - it is what God doesn't want for me, and no matter what I would not go against what He says (do not be unequally yoked).

I've invited this man to church, and he isn't completely against it, but he isn't extremely willing to go either. I'm going to keep trying to get him to come with me.

I think that it is only a matter of time before he asks me out - however, he is also unbelievably shy. As far as I know, he's never been in a relationship.
Another thing, though, I leave in a month and move an hour away for the summer to a camp where I got hired at. I may be able to visit once a week, but since I won't work at the place I'm working at now, I won't have any reason to visit. So, unless I make the effort to see this man, I may not see him for 3+ months.
My moving away + this man's shyness = he hasn't said anything to me, besides dropping soo many hints about what he feels about me.


I've never been interested in anyone, not even a little, until I started working with this guy. I don't know what it is about him!

I'm actually glad that I will be moving away - this new job position couldn't have come at a better time! It will be good to be separated from him for a little while.


I need some advice though - this man knows I'm moving soon, and I think that he will say something before I leave.
If he asks me out, what should I say? He knows only that I am religious and I've invited him to church, and that is the extent of it. What would be the best way to tell him no, and yet, I'd still like him to know that I'm interested in him. Perhaps it would be very bad if he did know I was interested in him though, but despite what I do, I think he knows anyway, I can't seem to hide my feelings very easily (blushing is a huge problem!! :o)


I've been praying like CRAZY about all of this...perhaps you all can pray for me too (and especially for him + his salvation!!!!!) and give me some advice while you are at it?

Thanks very much! I hope to hear from some of you...feel free to PM me as well.

 

[Saucy]

You already know the answer.

There's a reason why God created that rule and it's not to spite you. It causes way too many issues and I don't think a relationship like that would honor God at all. If my relationship didn't honor God, I wouldn't do it, no matter how much I liked the person.

 

[Jonny Doe]

double post

 

[Jonny Doe]

I need some advice though - this man knows I'm moving soon, and I think that he will say something before I leave.
If he asks me out, what should I say? He knows only that I am religious and I've invited him to church, and that is the extent of it. What would be the best way to tell him no, and yet, I'd still like him to know that I'm interested in him. Perhaps it would be very bad if he did know I was interested in him though, but despite what I do, I think he knows anyway, I can't seem to hide my feelings very easily (blushing is a huge problem!! :o)

Hey Foxxi, as the poster above mentioned, it seems like you know the answer. You are still very young, and it would be wise of you to not have affection or any kind of attachment to a man who doesn't have a relationship with Jesus. I say this because you will avoid a lot of trouble and heartbreak in the future. It's easy to let your feelings take over when you see someone you like, and have grown fond towards, but many people have mentioned before me... feelings can't be trusted.

The fact that you are moving away to this camp is a good sign. It will be easier to stow away those feelings and let them diminish as time passes. (For what it's worth, it's also not a good idea to work with someone you like.)

If you are going to fall in love with a man, fall in love with him because he has the light of Jesus in him, not because he is some kind of shy, cutely nerdy, nice person that has some kind of mystique about him. Fall in love with the man who is going to love God above you and who is going to have a fearful respect for Him.

I can't stress it enough that you are still young. It's very important to have your heart protected, so that you can avoid getting trapped in a dead-end relationship. So many unforseen things can happen when partnered with an unbeliever besides not honoring God. For example, how will you rear your children? What happens on holidays? What will become of the spirit of God in you if it is blighted by the spiritual plague of an unbeliever?

I'm not trying to say this person is bad, i'm just trying to stress to you the ramifications of falling for someone because of these feelings that we all have, and which we can't trust until we let our hearts rest in the knowledge of God's faithful promise to redeem and restore us some day.

Also, be wary of "missionary" dating, where you date an unbeliever with the hopes of converting him someday. The man will seem to come to God because of you. In fact, you become the god to him - or the idol - in your relationship.

I hope you let the Truth, which you can find in the Bible, guide your emotions and decisions on this one, and not follow your emotions like when you hear a song on the radio and you think it's egging you on to go for it.

If he does say something before you go, you don't have to let your emotions be known. Be polite, and don't lead him on. Can't stress enough: Don't lead him on! You have chosen to follow Christ, and it requires us to sacrifice our worldly desires.

Proverbs tells us to restrain our emotions. For a good reason too! It especially hurts when you want him to know so many things, and you both like each other. Trust me, we've all been there at one point and another.

I will pray that the Holy Spirit guides your decision.

 

[99Balloons]

Do not be unequally yolked. It's quite clear in the Bible.

 

[Jonny Doe]

Do not be unequally yolked. It's quite clear in the Bible.

You are right. That is in the Bible and it's important to obey God. But my hope is that she understands the grace behind that directive.

 

[IamStefanie]

I was looking at some TD Jakes sermons last night, and he said "When you want to win over the emeny, don't get in the ring." Basically, the enemy is the feelings that you have for this man. Don't keep getting close to him but continue to fight the feeling. You are going to hurt yourself and/or get stressed out. Like everyone else has mentioned, do not be unequally yoked. God did mention that for a reasons. Relationships already have enough challenges. You two should be able to go to the same GOD together in good times and bad.

 

[cloudstrife007]

It's going to be hard, but as others have mentioned, don't be unequally yoked. Our love for Jesus and God needs to be greater than our love for anyone else in this world. And so we need to keep follow God's word and not our own desire because He knows whats best.

Explain your faith to your guy friend that your relationship with Jesus is more important than anything else in this world and going into a Christian and non Christian relationship can jeopardize this because it actually goes against what our God teaches us.


Keep praying!

 

[twnsrkr]

If he asks you out, just tell him the truth. That you like him, but you won't go out with an unbeliever. Then hit him up with the church invitation once again. Exchange contact info, etc.