Advice for me...

[Anonymousme185]

Hey guys,

So I've been struggling with being a Christian for a long time. I feel nothing. I feel like when I pray I'm talking to the wall. I feel like when I know I shouldn't do something I can do it anyway with no remorse. I feel contempt for people around me and I'm generally easily stressed as I have a ot of dress in my life and get angry at the drop of a hat, I can control my anger but still it not fun being angry. And a part of me feels like Christianity is not real. And I lost my faith.

I almost turned to witchcraft and am still very interested in astral plane astral projection etc. And my studies in witchcraft actually opened my eyes as in showed me that spirits are real and thus a spirit world. It actually restored my faith a bit that Jesus and what he was saying was very real. Now I never did anything in witchcraft but just the study of it really kind of helped me back here

But I just got done praying my heart out and still I felt it went unheard.

How do you get a closeness with God.

Why is it that it seems easier to talk to spirit guides astral project into the spirit realm etc than to get confirmation from God that he hears you.

All I want is to feel his love and embrace but no matter how much I try it seems in vain.

 

[Long Island Pilgrim]

Hi Anony,

I guess the first question is if you ever experienced closeness with God or if it was an intellectual belief in God? If you are genuinely a Born Again Christian you will have had an personal experience and interaction with God over a period of time. You will have experienced it almost in the same way as if you had met and known someone in real life and been in a relationship with them. There will be many , many evidences of it . You will have known an absolute assurance of it . ( Romans 8:16).

There is nothing abstract about the Born Again relationship with God. You will have been in conversation and prayer with him over a period of time. Once God reveals himself he usually doesn't vanish. he usually anchors that friendship and love relationship in our hearts to the point where we feel secure in his Character.

Now...if you have Been Born Again for a while there are definitely points at which he can seem absent...even in times of severe trial. And that can cause us to doubt. But he does that to help us learn to cope on our own. Training wheels are off...now you are entering a new stage of spiritual maturity.
If you are having that type of experience then I recommend these two books:

"When Darkness will not lift." By John Piper and "Desiring God" by John piper.

If you suspect you are not Born Again then you need to request prayer for salvation and genuinely begin to seek God . (Luke 11:9)

One way to completely destroy the option of knowing God is to engage with false Gods such as spirit guides in astral projection. All those New Age paths are demonic tricksters. They may seem like trustworthy sources but they will lead you astray. There are tons of Videos on Youtube with personal testimony of people who are now Christians who share their experiences of having been deceived by those entities. Enclosed is just one example.

May God guide and support you in your Journey.

 

[Anonymousme185]

I know, those testimonies have been what's kept me from going over to that type of lifetyle. Idk for sure if I've Been born again there's a lol voice I've had since I was a kid that when I would especially when i pray tell me that this is false and no matter what I have done I can' get rid of it. I asked God when I was young and over the years to take this thought away (to help my unbelief) and repeatedly begged God to save me and show me the way. But I've never felt gods presence and still don't. But I've always wanted it. I'e talked to pastors posted on forums but it doesn' seem to help I've looked into the craft just the last few days as an effort to try and fill a big hole that I've tried to fill with hobbies and games and studies but it remains. Why if I've wanted it so badly will God not save and help me.

I also have a darker side that I'm not proud of but an interest in magic, power, knowledge etc. (Never did drugs or alcohol) I'e asked and asked that God would show me his plan and what he wants and studied the bible. But I could never feel that close relationship that I've wanted. And now i couldnt tell you if i was a true christian or not

 

[Long Island Pilgrim]

Thanks for sharing your situation. It's good that you were so candid because now I know the problem.

You have rebellion in your heart. If you are interested in Magic, Power or Gnosis you will have an enormous block between yourself and God because those things are absolutely forbidden and they represent a heart which is not yet ready for submission.

God knows when we are genuinely ready for a devotional life and usually it requires brokenness so that we finally come to the place where we have completely lost faith in all other options. I used to be interested in all those things too but I laid them down because I wanted God more. You have to be willing to fully renounce those things and then you have to demonstrate a bit of patience and wait on his timing. We all learn that we can not make God do anything by our own effort . We have to wait on him. But you can't play with magic while you are waiting.

 

[Long Island Pilgrim]

By the way...I was 48 when I got saved and I had plenty of years in rebellion so I'm definitely not judging you or anyone else.

 

[W2L]

Patience and perseverance is needed. Also, dont mess with witchcraft, thats not the way to find God.

 

[NDL]

Anonymousme185**********

I am glad you posted your question. My reply might sound simplistic, but here's my suggestion which has worked for countless people:

If you truly want to find God, your best bet is to find a solid, expositional, teacher of the Word of God, and spend a solid hour a day listening and focusing on Scripture. Do this without any distraction (e.g. phone, etc.). Pour all of your attention on the message of the person teaching.

Over time, your persistence in listening to Scripture will bear fruit , and you will have found God