Advice for a girlfriend

[tinkerbell]

Hey guys!

I am really posting this question for any advice that you can give me. One of my friends started dating this guy her junior year in high school. Their relationship wasn't the healthiest and we told her many times, but she failed to see it. Her self-esteem was already very low before she got in the relationship, and it was only making things worse. This friend - let's call her Sue - is a very good Christian and had strong morals. Last year, she decided to go to college for her first year in Florida, so that she could be close to her boyfriend. She had her own apartment and he would go visit her a lot. Although Sue was not thrilled about it, the two slept together several times. Soon after they began having sex, he broke up with her unexpectedly. She tells me know that they were talking of getting married in the future. Now (9 months later) she still struggles with this. She is hurting so very badly! Now her self-esteem is so much lower than it ever was. She is constantly afraid that people will think of her as worth much less now, and she cannot forgive herself, and has a hard time accepting forgiveness from God. She worries about what she will tell her future husband and even future boyfriends. She is loaded down with so much guilt and shame. Okay, now for the main reason for this post. I was wondering if any of you have any idea how I can, aside from praying, be a good support for her. I honestly have no idea what to tell her aside from the fact that I love her and am praying for her and that God is right there beside her, walking her through every step of the way. (She is still a strong Christian by the way.) Any advice would be wonderful. I feel so helpless in this situation.

 

[Daniel_Standish]

Has she seen "The Passion"? Remind her that Jesus died for her and carried all her shame away when He died for her. He wants to forgive her...all she has to do is reach out her hand and accept it. Jesus doesnt care what she has done or with whom or how many times she did it...if she is asking Him for forgiveness...He will readily accept it immediately. Just remind her that Jesus has already forgiven her. It is already done with. And that no matter what she has done...He will always love her...and anyone else in the future who claims to love her...will have forgiven her too.

 

[fiveinjuly]

You are doing everything right. Sometimes the Lord allows adversity to happen to make us stronger. It might seem like a long time for her to be upset and she might be taking it harder than a lot of people would given the circumstances. Just remind her that God is a healer and a provider. He'll heal her broken heart and provid her with peace.

I would also pray with her. Take her to talk with your pastor or a trusted person who is a bit older and is in the church. Take her out to places where she can have fun.

I feel that you are doing everything right and you are doing what a good friend should to. Stay there for her.

Weeping may last for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

To everything there is a season. This might be her season to mourn, but soon she will dance (Ecc. 3:4)

 

[goat37]

First of all... she should never have to ask forgiveness from the man that she will marry in the future. And a real man won't judge her on any mistakes that she feel that she's made in her life.

Show me someone that's never done anything they wish they hadn't... and if she is with a guy that cannot accept her past, and only worry about her future... it is not the right guy for her. All the guy needs to worry about is that she has done her piece to make things right between her and God, and NO ONE else... and then focus only on the future.

Your friend is not a bad person because the guy that she was with turned out to not be the right one, and you need to make sure she knows that. God has forgiven her already, whether she accepts that forgiveness or not.

 

[Iggster]

First of all... she should never have to ask forgiveness from the man that she will marry in the future. And a real man won't judge her on any mistakes that she feel that she's made in her life.

Show me someone that's never done anything they wish they hadn't... and if she is with a guy that cannot accept her past, and only worry about her future... it is not the right guy for her. All the guy needs to worry about is that she has done her piece to make things right between her and God, and NO ONE else... and then focus only on the future.

Your friend is not a bad person because the guy that she was with turned out to be worthless, and you need to make sure she knows that. God has forgiven her already, whether she accepts that forgiveness or not.

Couldn't have said it better myself, goatie........

I have a past I was never proud of. But my s/o knew that I wanted to be right with the Lord. She knew He was the first I sought when my day begins. She didn't see my past. She saw the Lord walking with me.