Advice/encouragement on forgiveness

[Inofk71]

I don't even know where to post this really..reading replies it seems you all may have some advice.


How do you deal with someone who isn't being sincere in their apologies and even forgiveness?
(A Christian)..

It is a long thing I won't get too into.
Me and my sister were very close.
Something happened that was not in my control and she has blamed me for it and made even weirder excuses to hold onto anger and be mad at me for.
I have apologized.
When she needed my help..she seemed able to let it go though...but now she is back tracking...
It only came to light when I asked confronted her about the way she treated me on an outing because it was downright rude. I knew something had been off....

We didn't have the best relationship in the past but had made a good effort and I thought it was different now.

I really just dont know how to explain it all. I'm just hurt. I guess. I really thought she respected and cared about me enough to not do this.

I don't trust easily. I'm very much a introvert so I don't really have friends.
I'm trying to go about it without being too mad myself...and I'm trying to behave like a Christian. But all I can think now is "she's fake, she's fake. She's lieing.".....
I thought I could be ok with hanging out with her and her behaving this way..but it just hurts. I feel like I mean nothing to her.

I should add.. in the past shed go through these phases where her and our mom would get into fights/arguments. Shed then bring me into it.. and we wouldn't talk for a good while.. then shed apologize to me.
The last time she did this to me though was like 4 years ago.
So this issue now is just a bit surprising to me.
(And no fight is going on between her and our mom currently)..

 

[Tempura]

My advise may suck, but I'll try anyway.

Forgiveness doesn't have to depend on the repentance of another. You don't have to wait for her to change or to come to you first. If you can't feel forgiveness in your heart, pray for her. Pray for God to forgive her, and to teach you how to let go of anger and resentment, and to help you not hold things against her. Forgiveness, in addition to being a good thing to do for the other person, is also a blessing for us, it's relieving. Not only does it relieve the other person from their debt, but also our hearts from the burden of demanding bitterness. It's such a hard burden to carry and it doesn't get easier.

I am one of those who easily holds on to hurt. If I wait for the day when my feelings tell me "now it's okay, I don't feel bad anymore, let's forgive", I would never do it. So I go against my feelings, ask God to forgive this person, because I know it's His will for both of us, and I ask Him to grant me a more forgiving heart that would let go of anger in actual experience as well so I could love this person without conditions. And if I fail, which is to be expected, I go to God again. There is something about this, because when we pray for someone enough, actual love and the feeling of forgiveness can follow in time.

Said a prayer for you both.