Advice and prayer

[Jacob Black]

Hello,

I'm in a bit of a difficult situation. My mother and I are Christian but my stepdad and my sister are not (I think they are agnostic, but I don't know for sure if they believe in an afterlife). I tried to share the gospel with them a few times without trying to be too pushy or forcing it on them. But their hearts stay closed.

The problem is that I try to point out that they can only enter heaven through the forgiveness of Jesus Christ, while they believe that good people (unbelievers who don't live a reckless lifestyle) can also enter heaven. My sister has attended a Pentecostal service in the past but was immediately turned away from it because she cannot stand the idea that God judges all unbelievers to hell (she told me that they preached it there, and she finds the idea of a church too cultist). My mom has invited my stepdad to come to church with us several times, and he agreed to come with us, but he also admitted that he became a bit angered when our pastor preached about sin reaping death.

At this point I believe it has no value to keep pointing out the fact of them also needing Christ because it might just turn them away even further. I can't force them, but it keeps eating at me that they might face judgment. My mother is under the idea that if only she believes and suffers for him through this life (she's had a troubling past and still suffers from some problems I won't discuss here), that my stepdad can also enter heaven (without believing). I cannot tell here the fact that it doesn't work this way (or maybe she already knows) because I have terrifying fear that I might break her heart and her relationship.

What I wanted to ask for is if I did the right thing and also some prayer please, so that maybe if it God's will he might open their hearts.

 

[GaveMeJoy]

Hello,

I'm in a bit of a difficult situation. My mother and I are Christian but my stepdad and my sister are not (I think they are agnostic, but I don't know for sure if they believe in an afterlife). I tried to share the gospel with them a few times without trying to be too pushy or forcing it on them. But their hearts stay closed.

The problem is that I try to point out that they can only enter heaven through the forgiveness of Jesus Christ, while they believe that good people (unbelievers who don't live a reckless lifestyle) can also enter heaven. My sister has attended a Pentecostal service in the past but was immediately turned away from it because she cannot stand the idea that God judges all unbelievers to hell (she told me that they preached it there, and she finds the idea of a church too cultist). My mom has invited my stepdad to come to church with us several times, and he agreed to come with us, but he also admitted that he became a bit angered when our pastor preached about sin reaping death.

At this point I believe it has no value to keep pointing out the fact of them also needing Christ because it might just turn them away even further. I can't force them, but it keeps eating at me that they might face judgment. My mother is under the idea that if only she believes and suffers for him through this life (she's had a troubling past and still suffers from some problems I won't discuss here), that my stepdad can also enter heaven (without believing). I cannot tell here the fact that it doesn't work this way (or maybe she already knows) because I have terrifying fear that I might break her heart and her relationship.

What I wanted to ask for is if I did the right thing and also some prayer please, so that maybe if it God's will he might open their hearts.

Sharing the gospel is always the right thing brother!

when it comes to your step dad and your moms beliefs, it’s not important in my opinion to make sure she understands he can’t go to heaven unless he’s saved. It’s more important to keep sharing the gospel any chance you get. Remember we aren’t responsible to tell unbelievers how to live their lives, we can’t change them. We can only give the good news and pray the Holy Spirit moves. I’ve prayed for their salvation. If you could return the favor and ask the Lord to save my ex wife then maybe everyone will turn to him!

 

[Jok]

I think that Biblically Annihilationism makes more sense. But IMO it also makes way more sense in situations like yours. I mean you’re usually talking to people (atheists/agnostics) who already have a strong pull towards the belief that once you’re dead then that’s it, game over. So, it then becomes more of a conversation of a gift of eternal life, as opposed to a penalty. Since they already believe that death is ultimate death anyway, you’re now speaking in terms of rewards. Of course if you don’t agree with Annihilationism this won’t be of any help to you.

 

[Jacob Black]

Sharing the gospel is always the right thing brother!

when it comes to your step dad and your moms beliefs, it’s not important in my opinion to make sure she understands he can’t go to heaven unless he’s saved. It’s more important to keep sharing the gospel any chance you get. Remember we aren’t responsible to tell unbelievers how to live their lives, we can’t change them. We can only give the good news and pray the Holy Spirit moves. I’ve prayed for their salvation. If you could return the favor and ask the Lord to save my ex wife then maybe everyone will turn to him!

I think I might consider to leave it to the spirit now. I already shared it with them a few times and trying to do it more often will only anger them more. Maybe the Lord is already at work in them and I just don't notice it. I will pray for your ex wife.

 

[Jok]

I think I might consider to leave it to the spirit now. I already shared it with them a few times and trying to do it more often will only anger them more.

Very wise! Once people know where you stand, and they know that you are available to them, you have done your job, the ball is in their court after that. To get more aggressive than that would become pushy! And pushy is counterproductive. Pushy makes people cringe.

 

[Richard T]

I pray God gives you the wisdom to know when, and what to share when the time is right. God reaches people in lots of different ways. Not many Dutch people are that open about sharing spiritual things. The idea of heaven and hell are contrary to people that take pride in tolerance. So keeping a distance could very well be god's plan for a season. Just remember the word does not return void. may your speech be seasoned with grace always and may God give them open hearts to the tug of the Holy Spirit.

 

[disciple Clint]

Hello,

I'm in a bit of a difficult situation. My mother and I are Christian but my stepdad and my sister are not (I think they are agnostic, but I don't know for sure if they believe in an afterlife). I tried to share the gospel with them a few times without trying to be too pushy or forcing it on them. But their hearts stay closed.

The problem is that I try to point out that they can only enter heaven through the forgiveness of Jesus Christ, while they believe that good people (unbelievers who don't live a reckless lifestyle) can also enter heaven. My sister has attended a Pentecostal service in the past but was immediately turned away from it because she cannot stand the idea that God judges all unbelievers to hell (she told me that they preached it there, and she finds the idea of a church too cultist). My mom has invited my stepdad to come to church with us several times, and he agreed to come with us, but he also admitted that he became a bit angered when our pastor preached about sin reaping death.

At this point I believe it has no value to keep pointing out the fact of them also needing Christ because it might just turn them away even further. I can't force them, but it keeps eating at me that they might face judgment. My mother is under the idea that if only she believes and suffers for him through this life (she's had a troubling past and still suffers from some problems I won't discuss here), that my stepdad can also enter heaven (without believing). I cannot tell here the fact that it doesn't work this way (or maybe she already knows) because I have terrifying fear that I might break her heart and her relationship.

What I wanted to ask for is if I did the right thing and also some prayer please, so that maybe if it God's will he might open their hearts.

Hi Jacob, if you want to help someone who is lost, you must first find out where they are... think about it ... the first thing you ask when someone asks for directions to your home is... where are you now? It is the same when you are bringing someone to Jesus... you need to know where they are in their beliefs now. Get them talking, ask open questions, be non judgmental and most importantly listen don't talk. this is not the time to argue or prove that you have a better plan for their future. Once you know where they are in their beliefs and perhaps some of the whys there are there you can form a plan. Sometimes the very best plan is just letting them know how happy you are and how much your life has improved since you developed a relationship with Jesus, your actions and what they will see in the way you live life will say much more than any words you can use. There are some very good books available on basic everyday apologetics, go to the library and check one or two out or look online for articles and then find a style that is comfortable for you. Basic rule is people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care about them. We are well beyond the bad old days when fear of hell motivated people to accept Jesus. Just be honest about your relationship with Jesus, open the door and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Blessings

 

[Kris Jordan]

Hello,

I'm in a bit of a difficult situation. My mother and I are Christian but my stepdad and my sister are not (I think they are agnostic, but I don't know for sure if they believe in an afterlife). I tried to share the gospel with them a few times without trying to be too pushy or forcing it on them. But their hearts stay closed.

The problem is that I try to point out that they can only enter heaven through the forgiveness of Jesus Christ, while they believe that good people (unbelievers who don't live a reckless lifestyle) can also enter heaven. My sister has attended a Pentecostal service in the past but was immediately turned away from it because she cannot stand the idea that God judges all unbelievers to hell (she told me that they preached it there, and she finds the idea of a church too cultist). My mom has invited my stepdad to come to church with us several times, and he agreed to come with us, but he also admitted that he became a bit angered when our pastor preached about sin reaping death.

At this point I believe it has no value to keep pointing out the fact of them also needing Christ because it might just turn them away even further. I can't force them, but it keeps eating at me that they might face judgment. My mother is under the idea that if only she believes and suffers for him through this life (she's had a troubling past and still suffers from some problems I won't discuss here), that my stepdad can also enter heaven (without believing). I cannot tell here the fact that it doesn't work this way (or maybe she already knows) because I have terrifying fear that I might break her heart and her relationship.

What I wanted to ask for is if I did the right thing and also some prayer please, so that maybe if it God's will he might open their hearts.

Hi Jacob Black,

Always be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading on when to speak and when to shut your mouth. But overall, you've shared the gospel and told them the truth on multiple occasions. Now it's time to let your life (and lifestyle) speak and be a testimony to them -- and PRAY! Only the Holy Spirit can open their hearts, convict them of their sin, and convince them of the truth.

I encourage you to read and apply the principle found in 1 Peter 3:1 - the second half, of course.

 

[GaveMeJoy]

I think I might consider to leave it to the spirit now. I already shared it with them a few times and trying to do it more often will only anger them more. Maybe the Lord is already at work in them and I just don't notice it. I will pray for your ex wife.

To me that sounds like sound wisdom for now

 

[faroukfarouk]

@Jacob Black James's Epistle has a lot to say about how we use our tongues; the challenge is for them to edify. Sometimes the loudest testimony is a silent, consistently lived Godly life.

 

[faroukfarouk]

Hi Jacob Black,

Always be sensitive to the Holy Spirit's leading on when to speak and when to shut your mouth. But overall, you've shared the gospel and told them the truth on multiple occasions. Now it's time to let your life (and lifestyle) speak and be a testimony to them -- and PRAY! Only the Holy Spirit can open their hearts, convict them of their sin, and convince them of the truth.

I encourage you to read and apply the principle found in 1 Peter 3:1 - the second half, of course.

@Kris Jordan Great, relevant verse there cited!

 

[Joined2krist]

I think I might consider to leave it to the spirit now. I already shared it with them a few times and trying to do it more often will only anger them more. Maybe the Lord is already at work in them and I just don't notice it. I will pray for your ex wife.

I agree with this. You have done your best, let God do the rest.