Adventures with Jesus

[Evie1980]

Have you ever thought that maybe you just might be going a little to fast? I love to drive as much as the next person but unfortunately the cost of petrol at the moment is limiting my time in my car (at $1.59 a litre!). The great thing about driving is the freedom that gives you. It give you a sense of adventure, a sense that anything is possible, a sense that you can go anywhere.

Sure driving can be a lot of fun and where I live you get to see some awesome things but all of this comes at a price. You have to pay for the car, unkeep, patrol, it takes time to get anywhere and sometimes you have to drive even when you don't want to (especially where I live as there is no real form of public transport and you have to drive at least 30 mins to get to the train station!)

And then there are the decisions you have to make along the way - how fast you drive, where are you going, how to avoid all the possible points to cause an accident... When it comes to driving where I am there are speed signs that tell you how fast you can go but usually you are limited by how fast the car in front of you is going. With not many over taking lanes you are limited by what the people around you are doing...

And this seems to be my life at the moment. I am at a point in my life where I want to go fast but I can't. There are things that are slowing me down. Things that are distracting me from where I am going. I also have hit a couple of pot holes along the way and fear that there is going to be a major accident ahead for me. I am trying to make decisions about where I am headed and what my life is going to end up like. I am starting to think that maybe it would be better to sell up and not go anywhere but then what would be the fun of that?

If I spent my life avoiding accidents then I would never do anything. If I spent my life avoiding making decisions then I wouldn't get very far. At the same time, if I raced through life I would miss out on moments like these. Moments where I can sit back and just enjoy. And every once in a while, my car needs to go in for a check up to make sure that it is going well and to restore anything that may need to be. My life is going through a time of restoration. Do I like it? No. But then if I want to be able to do all that I desire then it is time to let go and just let if be.

Today is Monday and it is going to be glorious.

 

[Evie1980]

Has anyone seen the movie Hope Floats? I have. Its an ok movie but I think what I like most about it is the title. in a way I think that is the best way to describe my life at the moment.

You see, as always, my life is more like a complicated mess than anything else. I know that I have been speaking in riddles (more or less) of late. I am trying to work out what is going on!

First, I am writing a story and I am not only way, way, way behind in it, I keep on rewriting it! But thats ok because I know that soon I will find the time to sit down and finish it.

My job which I am currently working and not exactly enjoying (but am trying!) may not actually be legal (meaning I am getting paid of the books so come tax time I will be in hot water )

And then there are the jobs that I want that I am not getting and the complete step of faith I have to take in which I buy a ticket to another country to live there without actually getting a job!

:o :o

Other than that I have had a really busy day, need to write my will (which is going to be very easy lol), make sure that everything gets mailed this time (though when I signed everything I actually wrote the 8th month instead of the 6th so I have to fix that up)

Hmmm, at least I have a video camera now. My mum decided she needed one and it was on a special price so I went and bought that. Anyway I have to go now. My father's car has a flat battery so he may need my car instead (though I need it to get to work...)

Tomorrow WILL be better because tomorrow I will float!

 

[Evie1980]

So today was a busy, if not tiring, day. I was not feeling very well by the end of it and my mood was equally sickening. I started out the day full of hope explaining to my sister where I was hoping to head in my life. We had gong to Bris-Vegas (Brisbane to the non-Aussies ) to meet up for my younger brothers birthday. It was really funny because he is a qualified chef and it was the first time he had heard that I was a waitress. He thought I was joking at first and then he was speechless! Ahh I love my little bro!

Anyway so I was really happy and enjoying talking to my accountant about my finances (my sister is also my accountant and enjoys telling me how to invest all my non-existant money ). Anyway everything was going well until we had to drive home. The drive to Brissy is over 2 hours though my dad had to do some things on the way back which meant driving around the back of nowhere. So it took 4 hours back again. I was not happy and worst of all I had to basically come home and change to go to work (which I am illegally working though I should become legal next week due to the beginning of the financial year!)

So work was busy and not all that fun but I smiled and did my job. As it is winter here at the moment when I left it was pitch black. Now I work about a 20 minute drive from where I live though that is not at all city driving. As soon as you get out of Ballina (3 mins max) you run out of street lights. On one side of the road is the Richmond River and the other side is a sugar cane farm. So I am driving out of Ballina, listening to a random CD of Christian music and all I could see was the black road in frount of me (using the lights of my car to see of course) and the black night sky. And then a star fell. It disappeared and that got me thinking...

When I was younger I was told to make a wish on a falling star but this time I didn't. Not because my life is perfect. Far from it. But my thought was simple as this

"I have faith that my God is with me in all that I do,
I have hope that all my days will be a blessing unto me,
I have the love of family and friends and
I believe that all things are possible through Christ my Lord.
What more could I want?"

And in that moment, in my car, I was happy. I realised that lately I was letting my emotions rule my life rather than my beliefs. Emotions that have prevented me from seeing the truth and knowing that God is with me always. Emotions that have lead me into some mighty dark places. Emotions that have been my enemy. Though the darkness may surround me now, I have a choice. I can either go forward, stop or go back. At the moment my emotions are trying to convince me the latter 2 are my best options but I know that the first one is what I need to do. I need to keep going. I may not know the road that I am taking and I certainly don't want to be doing this alone but I have my Bible as my map so I can't get too lost and the Holy Spirit is with me in all things so I am not alone.

I don't need to make a wish because my God is bigger than all of that.

 

[Evie1980]

I haven't been on here in a while. Not that I have not wanted to but because I have not had much to say. It is so hard when what you had hoped would have only been an interim period becomes the reality of your world. I had always hoped and prayed that this was only going to be a short phase of my life but now I seem to be here permanently.

So what can say? I have been applying for jobs and really struggling with it. I have wrestled with the idea of going back to Korea. Yes, it was a big wretling match with my own heart and in the end I had to simply say "Lord Your will."

As many of you may know though most may not, my first 2 years in Korea was a struggle. I got there and had no way of contacting my parents (the school did not help me), I was sick for so long and then had major difficulties with my co-teachers from Canada and America. Towards the end of the first year things sort of settled down but soon trouble happened in the second year and it ended in a complete mess that left me heart broken and weary.

So I have been reading a book by Corrie Ten Boom and she was talking about how God called her back to Germany (the last place in the world she ever wanted to go back to due to her ordeal in concentration camps there). She spoke about how she has to forgive people whe enabled her suffering as well as the suffering of so many others. Now I have been in an experience like that (and I hope and pray I never do) but I started to think. By not applying to go to Korea again am I limiting myself to my own will and not Gods? Would I be content to go back to Korea of God wanted me to and if not why not?

So I weakly applied for a job that I knew I wouldn't get so I could say that at least I had tried! I know I am weak. And then an email soon came from a friend whom I had met in Korea. I had not spoken to him in months as he is from Canada and his fiancee is from Malaysia and he has been between the 2 countries for the last couple of months. Anyway he said he was going back and was I thinking about going. I emailed back saying yes I had and he replied back saying I should apply. Now I have. True, I am being more selective and I am not sure if I will make it back, but I do know if I go back God's will will be done and not mine.

This path has not been easy. Fear and doubt plague me. People willingly give me their advice from their own perspective and I am not sure if I shoudl take it. I have many plans but none seem to work out. Many times I think I am looking at things the wrong way. As I told my darling friend today -

... the truth is happiness is sometimes just a perspective. I want the joy that overcomes all things not the superficial happiness that adorns the outside.

I am looking forward to that moment.

 

[DarcyWillow]

I really didn't want to go worship tonight. Everything about getting ready was difficult: I was running late, my car was out of gas, I had nothing to wear.

I went, and had an amazing time. I made some new friends and worshipped God.
I'm so happy I went!

 

[Evie1980]

I really didn't want to go worship tonight. Everything about getting ready was difficult: I was running late, my car was out of gas, I had nothing to wear.

I went, and had an amazing time. I made some new friends and worshipped God.
I'm so happy I went!

That is awesome! It is amazing how things turn around and we are blest because we went. Sometimes it is so hard to overcome the obstacles - not because they are in themselves difficult but because they make us question what we want to do.

Thanks for sharing - that is a real encouragement unto me!

 

[DarcyWillow]

Thanks for sharing - that is a real encouragement unto me!

No problem! I think that satan often tempts us to not do things that are good for us. God conquers in the end, though

-Darcy

 

[Evie1980]

Hey All,

Well today I was running on high. I really started of the morning with a great session with God and since then haven't felt so bad. I will write about that is a minute but I wanted this post to be seperate (I like things to be done the proper way. Forgive me, but I like things to be seperate).

Anyway I was having an awesome day. I applied for some jobs and talked to my mum and headed to a place called Bangalow. It was an awesome drive there. Half an hour through the country side with views of the beach in the distance. Green paddocks and macadamia farms along the way. Real awesome. Anyway get to Bangalow and meet with my friend. We lived in London together for 2 years and my BFF from high school is her cousin. We are both teachers and trained at the same uni in the same year. So it was awesome seeing her and it was even more awesome talking about how life had changed for both of us and our future plans. She is going to give up teaching for a while and I am heading back out into the world.

Anyway then my BFF calls me. Well I missed the call so called her back. So we were talking and she just quit her job. She didn't like her job and her boss called her out and told her so. Anyway so he asked for a quit date and she set one! I am so proud of her! She rocks! I know that is strange but hear me out -
My BFF has been in the no-mans land of angst. She didn't like her job but didn't think that she had the ability to change. She didn't think she could and it was only because her boss gave her no alternative that she decided it was time to move on.

So here am I congratulating her and she can't believe it! Which of course is understandable but oh I am so happy for her. Her life is going to change and she is going to grow. She is going to be able to do so much more! And the same can be said for me. I know that there are places and things I want to do simply because it is easier. I too know the fear of change and the fear of letting go of something before you have another thing firmly in your hand. Like the saying goes - a bird in the hand is better than 2 in the forest. Yet sometimes we can hold too firmly to that one bird and miss everything else a long the way.

I have no fear for my friend for the Lord is working in her life. He is in control of all of this. I know, I have been praying for her for a long time and so has she. She doesn't really believe that everything is possible through God but she does know that He can provide. Soon she is going to know for sure just how much God loves her! O happy day!

 

[dvanderdeen]

Evie I have to agree with you in this post. Sometimes that is really what we need in our lives. God sometimes wants us to just let go of what is comfortable and to lean on him and rest in him. He wants us to let go of everything and just trust in him to provide what we need. Those times when you become completely dependent on God to provide are the times when you can experience him the most. I have had some amazing experiences with God in my own life in that exact same situation.

Letting go and giving up complete control of our lives can be the hardest and scariest thing we may ever have to do. It's intimidating but it can be the most rewarding thing you have done too. I find for myself it is something that has gotten easier as I trust more in God to provide. It's still scary though.

 

[Evie1980]

Hey All,

Just wanting some prayer about this job I have applied for. It looks all really positive. It is in Vietnam, a country I have always longer to visit but Vietnam is not a very Christian nation. I am going to talk to my pastor about possible churched in Hanoi. It really is a wonderful proposition. It is good money, interesting working environment as well as not bad holidays! It was also allow me to visit Cambodia, Laos, Thailand as well as make it back to Korea for a holiday if I so desire. I have about 7 weeks holiday each year plus one return flight home (paid!).It all sounds awesome but as always with these decisions it is hard. My dad is really pressing me for this as he doesn't want me to go back to Korea. For some reason he would rather me go to Vietnam. Anyway I have until 2pm tomorrow.
Thanks!

 

[Evie1980]

I am finally writing that which I said I would the other day. I know that I said would earlier but found that I was too busy (watching tv) to find the time (it was very interesting) and thus am deeply sorry that I said I would do something and then not (my father says your word is your honour meaning that if you say you are going to do something and don't it is a poor reflection on you). I am very sorry.

Anyway I was reading my Bible and thinking about life at the moment. It is always quite complex dealing with life and I came across this passage -
"If any of you think that you are something when you are nothing, you deceive yourselves. Each of you shuld test your own actions.Then take pride in yourself, without comparing yourself to somebody else, for each of you should carry your own load." Acts 6 v 3-5

Now I found this rather compelling for I still find myself, at times, thinking about an ex-friend of mine. We worked together and parted ways less than amicably. There is still a lot of pain there and I am always worried about it. After all you don't want to repeat the sins of the past! So yesterday, I was sitting and thinking about this. You see my main problem was that I bore the load of another person. I tried to make his life "perfect" within the working sense. I helped and over helped. You may say oh how nice but the truth of the matter if I had really tested my motives I would have found them less than pure. I would have found that I was doing it for selfish reasons.

You see it is easy for me to compare myself to a non-trained teacher. I was always be better than him for the simple fact that I had trained for 4 years and then worked as a teacher for at least 3 years before he started. So naturely I was better than him and naturally I decided to bear his load. I took (do I really admit this?) pride in my helping. I enjoyed the fact (forgive me for this) pride in being stronger. I know that is shameful of me and I paid a big price for this mistake (a loss of friendship, a broken heart, a bashed ago and a one way trip out of town!)

So this is my prayer - that I may never take pride in my own ability when comparing to other. That I know that my ability is a gift from God and not used to prevent someone developing their own gifts. That I never take another persons load as I may be interfering with God's work in their life. That in all that I do I test my actions and that if I find them impure, I repent and alter my ways.

God bless, Evie

 

[Evie1980]

You know the saying when it rains it pours? Well things are getting complicated here again. I applied for some more jobs last week and today as I am still not quite sure about Vietnam. I feel really bad now because I have organised to more job interviews. One for an international school on Jeju Island and another for an international school in Shanghai. I know that this is awful and decptive but at the same time I am not sure about the whole Vietnam thing. I know it is mainly because I have to fly out of Sydney instead of Brisbane which I am not happy about. It is all rather complicated.

Anyway I know that I will find out more about these jobs and see if I am interested and I have given my word to Vietnam first so I will not betray that trust but...

You know I guess it all comes down to God's perfect timing. It was only after I found out about Vietnam and said yes to them that these other positions have become available. I would have loved to work in an international school in Korea! But it didn't happen the way that I wanted it to.

Please pray for me!

 

[dvanderdeen]

Evie, I'll keep praying for you in this situation. I know that these things can be tough, I've gone through very similar situations in my own teaching career. I remember when I first started looking for work overseas I was swamped with offers of Taiwan, Mainland China, Japan, Korea, Rome, and Spain. It was a very hard choice for me as well. Even after I finally decided to take the job in Korea, I had another offer come up for London that I would have loved to have taken. Although by that time I was already here and was 4 months into my first year contract. I also have to admit that the option to teach in international school in Jeju is something I would want to take myself. Jeju is a quite beautiful place and an international school is an amazing opportunity.

I'm praying that God will show you what you should do, and that he will lead you where he wants you to be.

 

[Evie1980]

It is time to get the passport ready, grab the Bible and head off into the weird, wild world. Yes, I have decided that Vietnam is where I need to be. I am going to cancel everything else, give my apologises to some and beg forgiveness from others.

I was talking to one of the many blessings in life today - a wonderful, American friend of mine. We met in Seoul at church. In fact it was my first week there and she can and have me some support. Yes, my first real friend in Korea is still a blessing unto my life. Anyway I was talking to her about all the good, bad and ugly in my life at the moment. She is a godly woman though it is harder now we are in different hemispheres, contenants, countries, cities to keep up to date. So we aer chatting about God's will and I knew what she was going to say - go to Vietnam. I said yes first and my word is my honour. I will honour God with the words of my mouth as well as the life I choose to live.

I know that everything else is awesome and wonderful. I do hope and pray that soon I may get the opportunity to do some of the things I long to do but for now I know that God is calling me to Vietnam. I have nothing to fear! I am not exactly Indianna (I like to pack a few more things than him such as makeup, skirts etc) but I am looking forward to a new adventure with my Lord.

 

[Evie1980]

So last night I went out with a friend of mine. We headed to a favourite pub and sat down to discuss my impending move to Vietnam. Up until then he did not know I was going though it was not a big surprise. Anyway as it was Thursday night we found out that is was Karaoke night! Yes, when people like me cringe in the corner wishing that they had half the guts and ability of those who actually sang.

Well not this time - I was still lacking in ability but I got up and sang. I figured I have got nothing ot fear. After all I am only in a pub in Lismore. I used to not have so much trouble getting up singing poorly in front of a group of people until one time in Wales. We went with some friends of ours as he was Welsh and wanted to show us his home land. My friend had a beautiful singing voice but with me as backup we just got glares from the audience. There was also the time in Scotland when we chose a song and realised it was the wrong one! That was bad. So since those days I have tried to avoid the Karaoke mic. Until of course last night. I was trying to resisit the urge but I couldn't resist. I let it over power me and got up and sang on of the best karaoke songs of all time - 1000 Miles (I am going to be) by the Proclaimers (or is it 500 miles?) You know the one -
"I would walk 500 miles,
And I would walk 500 more
Just to be the man who walked a 1000 miles
To fall down at your door"

But not to be outdone by anyone else in room I went back for a second! Yes, Sheryl Crowe would die in agony if she heard my rendition of Soak Up The Sun. You know the one -
"I'm gonna soak up the sun
I'm gonna tell everyone
To lighten up (I'm gonna tell em that)
I've got no one to blame
For every time I feel lame
I'm looking up
I'm gonna soak up the sun"

At the end of the night I asked my friend if I was really that bad. He said no but at least you tried! Of course that is a very dismissove statement. The statement you make when you are trying to encourage someone who is really bad. Now, I would take it is a something bad but I think that it is more of a compliment. My friend is renowned for being a non-trier. He doesn't sing, dance or do anything really new. He lives his life within the walls of what he feels comfortable with. You may what is wrong with that. Simply put I think that those walls sometimes leave him a little lonely and isolated.

So today I am rejoicing in being a trier! Yes, I will go out and try! I may fail, hate it, have people stare at me, block their ears or worse but at least I know that I did it!

Oh, by the way for the first song everyone sung along and the second some people sung along but I got a big cheer!

 

[Evie1980]

Sometimes it is hard to support others. Today I went to a funeral not because I necessarily wanted to but I wanted to support my sister and brother-in-law (BIL). My brother-in-law's grandmother had died last week and my sister asked if I could attend the funeral to show support. Of course I knew noone expect those of BIL family I had had chance to meet a long the way. I never knew the grandmother. Though she seemed like an amazing woman and strong in her faith. It was sad. My BIL started crying and I always find it difficult to watch others cry. I end up crying myself. So it was a very emotional time.

So now I am a little sad and a little reflective. This woman was amwazing woman and she lived a life that we all should try to live. She loved her neighbour and her door was also open to thos who she knew and those she didn't. She loved the Lord and gave thanks for the wonderful things she had been given. She saw her life in all things as being blest by God. She had said that if she could do it all again there would not be many things she would care to change.

Looking at my life I hope that I can say as well when I am 98 years old (yes that is how old she was). I thank God that I could have had an opportunity to share part of this woman's life even though it was only her death so that I could remember the best things in life are always the things that you do to support and love each other.

 

[Supplanter]

Boy, does this thread bring back memories?

Well, my latest adventure has been participating in an adult spelling bee. They asked members on our staff if they were interested a few weeks ago, but I decided that I wasn't going to participate, even though I'm a pretty good speller and thought it would be fun. I just never feel like I have time to have fun since getting a job as a teacher, and I was really just shying away from it in general because it was something I had never done and it was in a public forum, but I have been realizing more and more that I need to get that balance back to my life as difficult as it can be. I ended getting asked to fill in at the last minute, because two people had emergencies that came up, and someone else backed out.

The adult spelling bee is a 3-person team event. Two teams from my school participated. And my team ended up coming in 4th out of 12 and we had to do a little song we made up to introduce ourselves. It was just a very fun and lighthearted event. We got razzed by the caller and the emcee about the word prairie and one of our team member's Barry White voice. Plus, it was just a great opportunity to fellowship and grow closer in friendships with my co-workers. As crazy as the kids and policies might be at my school. My co-workers make up for that 10 times over. They are amazing, wonderful people. And finally, we also raised a lot of money for literacy programs in the county.

It was just a good reminder to me that I need to be getting out there and trying new things more, because life truly is an adventure worth taking a risk for, especially when we have Jesus there every step of the way. When I finished the bee, I felt more relaxed and contented than I have in a long time. Probably because, I was less focused on my shortcomings and inabilities, and more focused on just seizing the moment and whatever God sends my way and receiving it with a cheerful spirit. Essentially, not worried about myself and just enjoying the adventure of being a Child of God and being in His presence everyday.

In fact, I had no faith in my ability to do this little event which is why I didn't sign up in the first place even though God has given me a gift for spelling, but I believe God wanted me there and I think it was a nod from Him not to hide but to let my light shine, to stop hiding it under a basket. And to trust Him completely, knowing that when I trust Him,there is nothing to fear . . .even if you are crazy enough to sing a Spelling Bee song to the tune of "I wish I were and Oscar Meyer Wiener."

 

[Evie1980]

Thanks for the Supplanter. Yeah, it is amazing that we can have faith in everything else around us but not ourselves! It is so hard somedays to face the mirror and say I am worthy because God sees me as worthy.

I have had a similar experience of late. For the longest time I would not get a little scooter/motorbike here in Hanoi. The traffic is terrible. I was so unsure of myself. Sure I would trust other people to drive through the traffic but would never do it myself. Of course, I did not know these people and they are not regulated like a taxi driver. All you need is an extra helmet andyou can charge someone money to give them a ride on the bike. Most of the time they don't even know where they are going! Anyway I finally did - I got my own. I have been riding through the traffic and I have yet to have an accident. Not that I am really worried anyway as the traffic goes as less then 60 km an hour (average 30-40) which is not really fast.

But throught this all I have learnt a lot -
We have to have faith in our decisions and ourselves. Many times we feel like we are doing the wrong thing but we are actually doing the right thing. We have nothing to fear for God is our protection. I have to wear a helmet when riding to protect myself. I also indicate and take other precautions. God is with us in life. He will not let us fall and if we do (and I have fallen off my bike) we can easily pick ourselves back up with His help.

Just because there is obstacles (cars, buses, bike, holes in the road) doesn't mean we can't still do it. It may take us longer but we can still get to where we are going.

We need to relax and enjoy the ride. When the traffic is really bad I start to tense in my arms gripping the bike harder. This does not help as it makes it a lot more uncomfortable as well as dangerous. When you are tense I have found it is harder to move the bike. The same with life. We need to relax and enjoy it. When we get stressed it is harder to do what we need to do.

On the road there are people that go fast and people that go slow but at the end of the day does it really matter what pace you are going? As long as you get to where you going and keep on moving. THe worst thing you can do on motorbike in Hanoi is stop. You learn to swerve and slow down but don't stop because that will cause an accident. The same is with life. We need to learn to overcome, get around, slow down but every day we must keep going.

Leaning to ride a bike has given me freedom to do more in Hanoi than I would have been able to do otherwise. It has stopped fear ruling my life. I am able to do more now that I am learning to trust myself and the Spirit that lives within me.

 

[songz777]

Hey Evie good that your Adventures are back

 

[Evie1980]

Hey Evie good that your Adventures are back

Thanks John. You know my greatest adventures at the moment has not been riding my bike. Though it is adventure enough to be fighting against other motorbikes, cars, buses, trucks, bicycle and cows (yes, cows) in the dodgy Spring weather (BTW Spring is not a good time to visit Hanoi. The weather is humid, wet, foggy and rainy. Unless of course you like weather like that...)

No, my greatest adventures have been reading Nehemiah. Yes, God's word is always an adventure for the soul and the other day these words tackled my heart -
"Because of your great compassion you did not abandon them in the desert. By day the pillar of cloud did not cease to guide them on their path, nor the pillar of fire by night to shine on the way they were to take. You gave your good Spirit to instruct them. You did not withhold your manna from their mouths, and you gave them water for their thirst. For forty years you sustained them in the desert; they lacked nothing, their clothes did not wear out nor did their feet become swollen" Nehemiah 9:19-21

What really spoke to me was how long the Israelites had to stay in the desert and how much could have gone wrong but didn't. Now, I know that my life most days feels like a desert but the truth I know that there are a lot of things that God provides for wihout me even noticing. God has never once abandoned me, even though a desert is not the most fun place to hang out in. And God knew there wouldn't be places for the Israelites to buy new clothes or seek medical attention. He knew that these people would have to keep on walking for 40 years! But he had it covered. It just amazes me that although these people were struggling in the desert they had food, water, clothes and no need for medical attention. What a blessing that was! I have many blessings like that but sometimes I am too busy looking at the desert to notice them.

Also God guided them both day and night. Many times I feel like I am asleep in my life. Just going through motions. Or worse that God doesn't really know where I am headed. And if He does why hasn't He told me? Now the Isrealites didn't have a map that said "you are here and you will end up here" but they knew everyday all they had to do was get up, look for God and follow Him! That is something that I need to remember. May it be said at the end of my life that "she got up, looked for God and followed Him."

Blessings!