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Adults?

fishstix

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When do you think that people actually are adults? Is it when we reach a certain age as set by the government - age of majority or legal drinking age or whatever? Is it when we move out on our own? Is it when we finish developing physically? Or when we finish high school? Do you consider yourself to be an adult? How about grown up? Is there a difference between being an adult and being grown up?
 

Living4Him03

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I think it depends on maturity. Someone could be say, 25, and still not really be an "adult" at least in their thought processes, etc. I think it's when you finally become an independent person and "find" yourself, away from your parents and other influences growing up and you find out who YOU are and make a life for yourself. That's called adulthood :)
 
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sparrow1029

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I like this question--I actually think about it from time to time myself :)

In western society, I don't think there's any one cut off point from childhood to adulthood. I know the physiologically, our brain is still developing into the late teens and early twenties (which is pretty darn cool). And, at 18 you're considered an adult by the legal system in the US. But, probably one of the better definitions I've heard is that you can be considered an adult when you are financially and emotionally independent. But, well, I know of people well advance chronologically (hehe) who haven't met those requirements. . . .

According to most of the stuff I listed above, I suppose I'm an adult. I look like one (according to the salesgirl who tried to sell me wrinkle cream at a store, at least). But, I do think theres a distinction between someone who can handle adult responsibilities, and someone who is so serious about being "grown up" that they forget altogether what it was like being a child. When I was a teenager, all I wanted to do was grow up--I wish now someone had told me how precious childhood was, so that I could have enjoyed it a bit more while it was happening!
 
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RabidYeti

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I get this...

Last year I turned 18 and I thought....

"So... now I'm an adult.... whats so different?"

Personally, I believe, at heart I will always be a little kid with a big imagination. I love doing child like things and being with people my own age who have the same mental age as me. We're like a bunch of primary school kids walking around University laughing and having fun with everyone.

Being young is far better than being an adult. The undeserved trust and the innocence is something I also want back :)
 
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plum

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I think even though I am old enough to be considered an adult legally, my state of life is not adult at the moment. I am not supporting myself financially, am not yet out of school, and have not moved out on my own (living out at school does not count). These are things I'd use to mark myself as an adult.
 
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TCapp

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Historians have noted that since World War II, well, since the turn of the (last) century, there has been a change in our view of adolesence. Before that, and you can see this in period pictures that capture the sense of the times before that... "Old Yeller" for example, and "How Green was my Valley."

Before that, young kids moved from childhood into adulthood very rapidly. The community expected them to take their stations of responsibility in the adult world, to make a contribution, and they prepared them for it. It was an expectation right from the get-go.


And many of those young adults not only could read, and write, and compose lucidly, they could do it in Latin, Greek as well as English. They knew a trade. They could play one or more musical instruments. They knew their Bibles. Sometimes they knew the Greek and the Hebrew. In other words, these are young people that were equiped to engage the world of grown-ups. It was a world they were hungry to be part of and, even though by even today's standards, they were still youngsters.

But something changed at the beginning of the 20th century. And expectations began to change. A whole new developmental concept began to emerge and it's called "teenagers". And what is a teenager? It's a person form 13-19 that, from our perspective now -- and here's what I want to emphasize, that what is changed is our perspective. Human beings haven't changed, our perspective has changed and our expectations have changed.
 
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PolymerTim

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I think that there is never a firm line for adulthood, but if you had to describe the transition, you would do it with experiences and not age. I believe the what best definition of when a person becomes an adult is when they take responsibility for their actions. Of course, even this line is a little vague, since there are many different kinds of actions to be responsible for.

I believe that a person becomes responsible for their actions when they: 1) have developed mentally to be able to understand their actions and effects and 2) have been exposed to situations and been expected to handle them. I believe that a lack of expectation delays growth. Children are capable of amazing levels of learning and understanding. I think sometimes our underestimation of their abilities only stunts their growth.

I also think there are a lot of misconceptions about needing to be "independent" to be grown up. What does independent mean? If it means that you have to live in your own place and pay all your own bills then I think we might be surprised to find that most of humanity throughout the ages lacked adults by that definition. I don't think that it is wrong to be moderately independent, but I feel that our society places to much emphasis on severing ties with family when you grow up. Just my two-cents, but I think we could learn a lot by strengthening our family ties.
 
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vibrant

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feel that our society places to much emphasis on severing ties with family when you grow up.


i kind of disagree with you here. cause i don't see society encouraging people to grow up. no one's demanding or expecting youth/young adults to grow up and take responsibility for themselves. the aren't demanding it for themselves, and parents and society are all too willing to accomodate this.
 
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catch22

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I don't think there's any one thing that defines you as an adult. It's several factors really, but what those factors may be varies from person to person depending on circumstances. I do know however, that I don't consider myself an adult yet. I don't have the responsibilities to be considered an adult, and whats more, I'm not sure that I'm ready for those responsibilities.
 
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PolymerTim

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vibrant said:
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[...snip...]
i don't see society encouraging people to grow up. no one's demanding or expecting youth/young adults to grow up and take responsibility for themselves. the aren't demanding it for themselves, and parents and society are all too willing to accomodate this.
I agree somewhat with this. I think the issue gets more complicated than can be addressed here and also varies depending on your environment.

I would agree that there is a lack of expectation of responsibility in many situations. As someone pointed out, this has lead to the teenage revolution, where many teens and tweens are avoiding responsibility for longer periods of time while they complete college.

But this isn't always the case. I think that along side this there is also a strong peer pressure from both the younger and the older generations that children become independent. While I think that some level of independence is good, I just feel that in some cases this pressure leads people to become more independent from their families than they really want to be, to the extent of moving out of state and having very little contact. Maybe this isn't the case most of the time, but I have seen too many examples of this that have lead to strained family relationships and, to some extent, depression.
 
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