I am saved by Jesus, and but I am struggling with sexual addiction, and I am married, but I still watch porn while she works, and I admit I have cheated on my wife for once, but I didn't vaginal intercourse with her, she just gave me sex oral, and gave me [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], it was like she was giving me sex oral for 10 seconds around, but I felt scared and guilty and left. I was very sad and depressed for a month, will it be unforgive? Will God forgive me? I am trying to get my addiction off of me and getting new life with my wife. And I am asking you a question, but I am really very nervous to tell my wife the truth about it, and Should I admit it to my wife? But I am very scared. Help please. I really hate my addiction since high school that my addiction started!
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Adultery
- Thread starter tryingfaith2012
- Start date
The devil is the master of trickery. This is his world, and you are in the flesh-- the flesh is corrupt, wayward. And the devil takes advantage of that. He watches you, sees your weakness and feeds you things that will lead to your demise.
With God-- the armor of God, you can take on this battle. First, you need to pray for strength and turn away from the temptations. Your mind is being controlled by the devil-- his schemes, his tricks. He makes you think the small stuff-- the view of a porn is ok. It's not!
While it seems like, on the surface, you can handle the porn, handle the sexual images in the media, handle the flirtations of other women, your flesh is weak. Seek God...
Make a commitment to avoid porn first-- it's poison to your mind. It gets in and you lose site of the blessing you have-- your wife. It makes you dream of, lust after, and desire things that were not meant to be. Find satisfaction in your wife--think only of her.
You need to take care of yourself first-- find an accountability partner... someone you can confess this to. All men are tempted by the flesh... you're not alone.
And-- turn away from your sins. The porn is an addiction-- you have to ween yourself from it, not slowly; do it abruptly and don't turn back. It's serious poison to your mind and soul-- that is why you're depressed after.
Do not tell your wife-- confess your sins to God... confess your sins to a brother in Christ, and turn away from them. God will cleanse your life... you just need to repent and turn away from it. Telling your wife about your mistake will compound things.
Turn toward God, repent, and love your wife. Love her whole-heartedly, realizing that you could lose this blessing in your life. God gives you all blessing; the devil would like to take all your joy. If you give in to your flesh, you will lose the battle-- this is every man's battle (there is a book entitled this-- read it.)
With God-- the armor of God, you can take on this battle. First, you need to pray for strength and turn away from the temptations. Your mind is being controlled by the devil-- his schemes, his tricks. He makes you think the small stuff-- the view of a porn is ok. It's not!
While it seems like, on the surface, you can handle the porn, handle the sexual images in the media, handle the flirtations of other women, your flesh is weak. Seek God...
Make a commitment to avoid porn first-- it's poison to your mind. It gets in and you lose site of the blessing you have-- your wife. It makes you dream of, lust after, and desire things that were not meant to be. Find satisfaction in your wife--think only of her.
You need to take care of yourself first-- find an accountability partner... someone you can confess this to. All men are tempted by the flesh... you're not alone.
And-- turn away from your sins. The porn is an addiction-- you have to ween yourself from it, not slowly; do it abruptly and don't turn back. It's serious poison to your mind and soul-- that is why you're depressed after.
Do not tell your wife-- confess your sins to God... confess your sins to a brother in Christ, and turn away from them. God will cleanse your life... you just need to repent and turn away from it. Telling your wife about your mistake will compound things.
Turn toward God, repent, and love your wife. Love her whole-heartedly, realizing that you could lose this blessing in your life. God gives you all blessing; the devil would like to take all your joy. If you give in to your flesh, you will lose the battle-- this is every man's battle (there is a book entitled this-- read it.)
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Matthias2099
White Lantern
I was in the exact same boat. Addicted to porn for 13 years and my sexual addictions nearly destroyed my marriage.
First of all, God will always forgive you if you truly are repentant. God knows your heart.
Your wife, well, she might not. But, unfortunately, you really no choice but to admit your failures. That is the right thing to do, and the rest will be up to her. But in doing so, you're going to need to be willing to do therapy, sex addiction counseling, 12-step, etc. to beat this thing, or your wife will never feel as if she can trust you.
I've been over 2 years clean now and I'm finally living without secrets from my wife. It was a long, difficult road filled with many fights and long uncomfortable discussions, even moments when we didn't think we'd make it, but we have. And we are all the more stronger for it.
I'm sorry you're in the situation, but the sooner you decide to change, the fewer mistakes you'll need to correct. Don't wait.
Praying for you.
First of all, God will always forgive you if you truly are repentant. God knows your heart.
Your wife, well, she might not. But, unfortunately, you really no choice but to admit your failures. That is the right thing to do, and the rest will be up to her. But in doing so, you're going to need to be willing to do therapy, sex addiction counseling, 12-step, etc. to beat this thing, or your wife will never feel as if she can trust you.
I've been over 2 years clean now and I'm finally living without secrets from my wife. It was a long, difficult road filled with many fights and long uncomfortable discussions, even moments when we didn't think we'd make it, but we have. And we are all the more stronger for it.
I'm sorry you're in the situation, but the sooner you decide to change, the fewer mistakes you'll need to correct. Don't wait.
Praying for you.
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He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
Proverbs, 28:13. And says, Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. James 5:16
The Bible says, "...your sins are forgiven you for His name's sake" (1 Jn. 1:12). All of your sin is forgiven. Confession is not a matter of forgiveness; it is a matter of agreeing with God that you are a sinner and are willing to deal with sin. Jesus has already paid the penalty for all of my sin, and it doesn't have to be paid again. Ephesians 4:32 says, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you." You are already forgiven; confession is just agreeing with God that you are at fault.
May the Lord give us the wisdom to know the difference between an unhealthy indulgence in self-exposure on the one hand and the biblical risk of authenticity and confession on the other.
Pray about it... but if your marriage is on unstable ground already, it might be best to keep your confession between you and God, you and Biblical brothers. Yes, you were wrong to cheat on her. Assuming there is no disease that resulted... assuming there is no love attachment with the 'one-nighter'. Dr. Laura used to differentiate between the love affair, and the mistake-- "the event." If you have no ties to this other woman, you do not see her at all (so there is no further temptation) you have no feelings between you, and you have not contracted anything physically, you will likely do mor harm to your relationship if you confess to your wife.
If after prayer, you feel God wants you to confess to your wife, by all means, do so. However, confessing your sins is an act of humility toward God, an act of humility toward your sinful nature. I have not seen anywhere in the bible where it says we are to confess our sins to specific people.
If you have children, the stability of the household is paramount. You screwed up... is it worth messing up a family unit, a happy household? You know you did wrong-- confess to God, confess to a pastor, confess to brothers in Christ... but take heed in confessing to your wife.
Proverbs, 28:13. And says, Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. James 5:16
The Bible says, "...your sins are forgiven you for His name's sake" (1 Jn. 1:12). All of your sin is forgiven. Confession is not a matter of forgiveness; it is a matter of agreeing with God that you are a sinner and are willing to deal with sin. Jesus has already paid the penalty for all of my sin, and it doesn't have to be paid again. Ephesians 4:32 says, "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God, for Christ's sake, hath forgiven you." You are already forgiven; confession is just agreeing with God that you are at fault.
May the Lord give us the wisdom to know the difference between an unhealthy indulgence in self-exposure on the one hand and the biblical risk of authenticity and confession on the other.
Pray about it... but if your marriage is on unstable ground already, it might be best to keep your confession between you and God, you and Biblical brothers. Yes, you were wrong to cheat on her. Assuming there is no disease that resulted... assuming there is no love attachment with the 'one-nighter'. Dr. Laura used to differentiate between the love affair, and the mistake-- "the event." If you have no ties to this other woman, you do not see her at all (so there is no further temptation) you have no feelings between you, and you have not contracted anything physically, you will likely do mor harm to your relationship if you confess to your wife.
If after prayer, you feel God wants you to confess to your wife, by all means, do so. However, confessing your sins is an act of humility toward God, an act of humility toward your sinful nature. I have not seen anywhere in the bible where it says we are to confess our sins to specific people.
If you have children, the stability of the household is paramount. You screwed up... is it worth messing up a family unit, a happy household? You know you did wrong-- confess to God, confess to a pastor, confess to brothers in Christ... but take heed in confessing to your wife.
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- Aug 3, 2004
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There is probably quite a lot to rethinking needed about sex for you to do. Your vulnerability suggests it is an area where you have some real gaps and insights.
John
NZ
John
NZ
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If you are able to stop, there is no need in confessing to your wife, it will hurt her. You can confess it to someone else like clergy. Now if you want to confess it to her, be my guest. But if God has freed you from it, just let it go.
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Sexual Sin is definitely hard to overcome. I also struggle with it. Always remember that no sin is too big for God to forgive.
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